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About Varied / Hobbyist Elizabeth KilrainFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 15 Years
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Missing Carl
Missing Carl
Sometimes, not always, there are these sharp moments where it seems the world is spinning so beautifully around me. It’s too much, and I want to inhale deeply to take it all in, but the constriction in my chest reminds me he is missing. Then I force another breath and am filled with — nothing. Because it is just air.
It’s all so unoriginal, so uninteresting. I’ve taken to rereading A Grief Observed as if the fifth or sixth time would reveal new insights.
“There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me.”
– C.S. Lewis, <em>
:iconeternalwaves:eternalwaves 0 0
Preparing for Takeoff by eternalwaves Preparing for Takeoff :iconeternalwaves:eternalwaves 1 0 Christmas 2012 - Abe with Bone by eternalwaves Christmas 2012 - Abe with Bone :iconeternalwaves:eternalwaves 1 0 echosofsilence IDv5 by eternalwaves echosofsilence IDv5 :iconeternalwaves:eternalwaves 2 4 Vectorised Maiko by eternalwaves Vectorised Maiko :iconeternalwaves:eternalwaves 0 1 Le Matin by eternalwaves Le Matin :iconeternalwaves:eternalwaves 3 7
all we have here
is the steady marching of seconds
and words melt downward
      so much
                      jargon just
over each
I have to wonder why
we keep climbing these steps when we know
the escalator is descending
so don't tell me to explain
or ask me to speak
- it's already the fourth watch
and in the pre-dawn light
I'm on the lake waiting for Him to change my motion
:iconeternalwaves:eternalwaves 2 22
the season is
but a crowd culture poet
historic waves have
steeped in a day
tell him to get
a postcard
and drive the autumn fog
by a vineyard
old ferry music
takes the beat of my café
:iconeternalwaves:eternalwaves 0 5
Aaron's Sunrise by eternalwaves Aaron's Sunrise :iconeternalwaves:eternalwaves 0 4 UCSB Beach 3 by eternalwaves UCSB Beach 3 :iconeternalwaves:eternalwaves 0 5 UCSB Beach 2 by eternalwaves UCSB Beach 2 :iconeternalwaves:eternalwaves 1 3 UCSB Beach 1 by eternalwaves UCSB Beach 1 :iconeternalwaves:eternalwaves 0 0 UCen Lagoon 2 by eternalwaves UCen Lagoon 2 :iconeternalwaves:eternalwaves 1 4 UCen Lagoon 1 by eternalwaves UCen Lagoon 1 :iconeternalwaves:eternalwaves 0 0
Your Stars Burn Bright
When you burned your stars into ashes,
brilliant basalt dust,
I dutifully scattered the fine powder in memory of you.
And they refused to blow off neatly into the wind.
Instead, I squinted and sneezed as they floated
everywhere, coating my clothing, hair, skin, and lashes.
Dinner that night I could taste you faintly
as I licked the sauce off my fingers
and secretly wiped my hands on the tablecloth.
Life and routine so simple,
mourning only a duty,
and the road keeps moving on.
But sleepy mornings come and silence
with too much time to think.
Loving memories become pots of tea
steeped too long.
I drink deeply,
and this heart is my own bitter cup.
Grace grants me forgiveness;
forgiveness grants me peace,
and quiet midnights I pray for you when
the cool navy sky brings me to life.
Senses grow tolerant,
and my eyes cease to sting.
Your scent has almost gone, and
this comforting pot is empty.
By the bedside the light flicks off.
Hanging high in the deep, dark, cavernous redness,
your stars
:iconeternalwaves:eternalwaves 5 13
And suddenly the thousand children
who have never cared for a word from me, much less
a name, clamber over each other forward,
this chaotic army of little hands and feet,
innumerable fingers. Uncontrollable.
Teacher has broken down. Teacher has
Mommy/Sensei/Big Sister is down.
And I wonder,
in their endless gazes and clearest of eyes,
whether those are looks of concern or curiosity.
But it's not that they didn't care;
I am what I have always been to them: what I've shown,
and they've accepted that with the utmost faith.
Sensei isn't supposed to break.
Sensei wasn't a title, a word.
It is my name, identity, purpose.
Thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six,
the blind man with sweeps of his cane,
counting steps to the corner store,
has more direction than I do.
And he knows me; I am the girl there every Wednesday evening;
his encounters with me on the way from the door,
through aisle three,
to the refrigerator in the back, where he picks up his
lowfat 2% milk, have told
:iconeternalwaves:eternalwaves 1 18


The River by alicexz The River :iconalicexz:alicexz 20,697 1,140 Autumn afternoon by xnhan00 Autumn afternoon :iconxnhan00:xnhan00 790 58 When she was six by AquaSixio When she was six :iconaquasixio:AquaSixio 14,131 441 Enjoy the silence by AquaSixio Enjoy the silence :iconaquasixio:AquaSixio 11,737 317 sometimes things get lost by trenchmaker sometimes things get lost :icontrenchmaker:trenchmaker 873 106 Auratus of Carassius by trenchmaker Auratus of Carassius :icontrenchmaker:trenchmaker 2,557 187 One day I'll fly away by AquaSixio One day I'll fly away :iconaquasixio:AquaSixio 3,926 495 Ink of black Thoughts by AquaSixio Ink of black Thoughts :iconaquasixio:AquaSixio 4,013 90 Tea Party colored I by stolenwings Tea Party colored I :iconstolenwings:stolenwings 180 114 Without words. by Culpeo-Fox Without words. :iconculpeo-fox:Culpeo-Fox 2,747 275 The Small Things by alexandrabirchmore The Small Things :iconalexandrabirchmore:alexandrabirchmore 690 52 Corgi and fairy by sandara Corgi and fairy :iconsandara:sandara 15,532 744 ...Will you accept this rose ? by AquaSixio ...Will you accept this rose ? :iconaquasixio:AquaSixio 2,833 452 Under The Sea by Artgerm Under The Sea :iconartgerm:Artgerm 16,996 606 Richard Parker by takmaj Richard Parker :icontakmaj:takmaj 1,685 243 A painting as a door by AquaSixio A painting as a door :iconaquasixio:AquaSixio 13,526 334


Un sapo by faboarts Un sapo :iconfaboarts:faboarts 6,099 632 Un tucan. by faboarts Un tucan. :iconfaboarts:faboarts 8,513 696 Erizo by faboarts Erizo :iconfaboarts:faboarts 15,924 1,573 Ardilla by faboarts Ardilla :iconfaboarts:faboarts 13,724 1,367 Guara roja. by faboarts Guara roja. :iconfaboarts:faboarts 11,108 814 F120507 by faboarts F120507 :iconfaboarts:faboarts 11,635 1,065 Buhito. by faboarts Buhito. :iconfaboarts:faboarts 14,433 1,070 Un gato. by faboarts Un gato. :iconfaboarts:faboarts 59,926 8,880


I'm so much further along than the previous, depressing, I'm-trying-to-be-strong-through-writing entry.

What have I been doing? Planning my career, looking at houses (the real estate depression is my opportunity to actually get a house in Santa Barbara!), and wedding planning.

I'm getting married on the 16th of July, 2009, to the most wonderful man on Earth! Praise God!

...that's all!
  • Listening to: Rosie Thomas - October
  • Reading: Bones of Contention


eternalwaves's Profile Picture
Elizabeth Kilrain
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Dancer: tanguera (Argentine tango), lindy hopper, blues dancer, oriental/Middle Eastern (raqs sharqi, turkish, ghawazee/gypsy/folkloric). Lover of music, from classical and cultural to American roots (folk, blues, gospel, jazz) and historical. Avid reader and writer. Appreciation for cooking and eating good food, from gourmet to street, and well-made wines and beers. I want to see places from the eyes of the people who really live there, but those who experience rather than just take their hometowns for granted during their day-to-day lives. Faith, values, and integrity are extremely important to me, and spending time in animated conversation over a good meal beats partying and non-stop excitement for me, any day!


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WeijiC Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2010  Professional General Artist
OMG hey! been a long time
rjcarroll Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2009  Professional Photographer
Thanks for faving!
lemontea Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2008
Hola. :)
sickNails Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2008
thnx a lot 4 d :+fav:!!!
thereisnoapplause Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2008
perhaps this has little to do with your actual posted work, but i felt the need to congratulate you on one incredible range of taste in music.
Blue-Dragon22 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2008
Thank you for the watch, Liz! I didn't know you were on deviantART! :D
eternalwaves Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Yep! Been on DA for years, though for a few years (after the scandal where they kicked the founder Jark off, even though he was co-founder), the art and esp. the formerly thriving writing community started to really suck. So I haven't really been posting. And then bring in college and love life troubles (and life in general), and I'm not even sure I'm creative anymore! Heh!
AmeNiSlytherin Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2008
GASP! It's you! :3 Hi honey, how are you? :heart:
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