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EStories's avatar

ES: Find Yourself 219

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Firefox195's avatar
Today he's KNOWN as...
this one's kinda annoying, sorry ^^"
Theta9099's avatar
Maretainia is Mauritania
LuciusAppaloosius's avatar
"on velvet"?

Not quite sure what that means.
kyuubinaruto18's avatar
For hundreds of years there was peace, untill...  until the fire nation attacked!

Sorry to say, but this introduction is pretty generic. Great place, suddenly invaded by evil, things go to crap.  It just needed a "once upon a time" to fill the cliche quota.

I've  come this far, and want to see the end, but I just don't care about this dude and his probable 'pity me' backstory. Discord probably killed his parents or something. Besides setting off the main plot and having a good design there hasn't been enough of him to make me care about him now. 

I hope hearing his story actually has a payoff, revealing some possible weakness, rather than solely a backstory.
DawnsyBebo's avatar
Oh so that's the worm that attacked discord
The citizens were on velvet? That sounds expensive (and restrictive), to mount every citizen on velvet.
templar127's avatar
SweetCaptain77's avatar
Finally, BACKSTORY!!
LeydenTheWolf777's avatar
EqDBot's avatar
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KrytenMarkGen-0's avatar
:facepalm: Oh, great, there goes Alice's trust in Discord. -sigh- Will this never end? :(
aqdrobert's avatar
Discord: Upstaged?
R-Doll's avatar
Two monstrous forms of chaos at the same time
What inconvenience and tragedy
Kemoh-Wintertail's avatar
Panel 1 : "citizen" should be "citizens"
IJoinedForPonies's avatar
Panel 2, 2nd speech column, "hundrets" should be "hundreds".

Panel 3, 1st speech column, "appeard" should be "appeared"

Panel 3, 2nd speech column, 2nd sentence could use revision, I recommend: "He put an enchantment on the ponies that caused them to fighting each other."

Panel 3, 5th speech column, "tryed" should be "tried".
Anagha777's avatar
I love this so much. This whole story has been great! I think I should let you know though, you misspelled "tried" in the second to last panel. 
xonxt's avatar
Well, tough sh*t. The entire world was affected by Discord's chaos. You don't see Celestia trying to kill him, while putting innocents in danger, or something.
Drakizora's avatar
hundrets -> hundreds
tryed -> tried

also should alice's eyelash stroke thing be under the stroke of her face?
DaCountdownOfTime's avatar
Is he angry at Discord because of the chaos he made or that he attracted Hirudo? The asnwer's problably both.
PhoenixFlambe's avatar
LuismiPro465's avatar
3rd pannel: "Tryed" -> Tried
tigreanpony's avatar
Very nicely done. Looking forward to the next page.
The-PurplePony's avatar
Ok I've been waiting for this backstory for a very long time and now it is just the beginning I am already super invested super exhilarated and in such suspense I can't contain it i can't wait to hear exactly the reason why Möbius is so awesome and evil  I am so happy that they are using Maretania I can't even remember that place but I do know the location is canon but I can't remember where I heard it in which episode and I'm so happy that we get some backstory about it and the huge panel with Discord over shadowing every one and everything it Epic I can't wait to hear more and keep up the good work EStories 
gutgutgut's avatar
So Hirudo is basically a Tirek-style worm.

I like the whole world concept, though. :)
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