estallidos's avatar
don't.
5.6K Watchers353K Page Views6 Deviations
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Riding Bikes
Going off medication is like riding a bike. The doctor holds tight to my handlebars and lowers my dosage. The training wheels are off, and oh hey, look at me go! It's like flying but not, and I'm doing so well but then there's a horrible accident and I'm somehow upside down at the bottom of the sea with both wheels still spinning. "Help," I say, and my doctor pats my head, puts a band-aid on my knee, and writes a note on my chart. I've balanced by myself for months at a time, but I always end up hitting a fucking tree or falling off a cliff or something equally catastrophic because I am a catastrophic person. Except that is an exaggeration
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compulsive liar.
once i asked you your favourite colour, and you said, "the brown of your eyes," so i put in one green contact and told everyone that i came out of the womb as a factory defect, half-priced, damaged goods. - sometimes i am from canada and sometimes i am from england and sometimes i am from spain. i've carefully tempered my accents and plotted out my stories with yellow and purple coloured pencils on index cards. my origin changes like the seasons. "why do you lie to everyone?" you ask. "why not?" i reply. - i wear nametags that read "alicia" and "liana" and "samantha," because i want to know how it feels to be someon
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stop ruining autumn.
listen: fall makes me think of leaving and of apple cider, though i never liked apple cider. but i liked the idea of it. listen: two years ago i met a boy as fragile as dead leaves who called me his little spring girl. (i'd always liked autumn the best.) he kissed the two soft dimples on the small of my back and told me helikedme helovedme hewantedme. and oh, by the way, "everything good must come to an end." listen: on our one year anniversary we picked out two pumpkins and i drew elephants on them for us to carve. he cut his out so aggressively that it lost its shape. lopped off tusks and broken trunks became just a large, jagged ho
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Riding Bikes
Going off medication is like riding a bike. The doctor holds tight to my handlebars and lowers my dosage. The training wheels are off, and oh hey, look at me go! It's like flying but not, and I'm doing so well but then there's a horrible accident and I'm somehow upside down at the bottom of the sea with both wheels still spinning. "Help," I say, and my doctor pats my head, puts a band-aid on my knee, and writes a note on my chart. I've balanced by myself for months at a time, but I always end up hitting a fucking tree or falling off a cliff or something equally catastrophic because I am a catastrophic person. Except that is an exaggeration
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stop ruining autumn.
listen: fall makes me think of leaving and of apple cider, though i never liked apple cider. but i liked the idea of it. listen: two years ago i met a boy as fragile as dead leaves who called me his little spring girl. (i'd always liked autumn the best.) he kissed the two soft dimples on the small of my back and told me helikedme helovedme hewantedme. and oh, by the way, "everything good must come to an end." listen: on our one year anniversary we picked out two pumpkins and i drew elephants on them for us to carve. he cut his out so aggressively that it lost its shape. lopped off tusks and broken trunks became just a large, jagged ho
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My deviantART Story
My current (and the only account I've ever been active on) deviantART account is 7 years old, which means I've been on dA for half of its now 14 years. It's the site I consider my internet home. Even though I make use of other sites like Tumblr, deviantART is where my loyalty and affinity is. I did so much growing up on this site. So much of my teen angst is hidden back behind pages of deviations, scraps, and journal entries. I met some of my best friends here. A big chunk of my life has played out on this green website, for better or for worse. Some of the most important conversations I've had haven't been through emails--they've been throug
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Daily Lit Recognition for June 4th, 2014
Daily Lit Recognition for June 4th, 2014 We are proud to feature today's Daily Literature Recognition! You can show your support by :+favlove:ing this News Article. Please comment and :+fav: the features and congratulate the artists! Poetry Featured by: betwixtthepages (https://www.deviantart.com/betwixtthepages) :thumb451180477: Last Words by estallidos (https://www.deviantart.com/estallidos) This poem takes a good, long look at human nature--and the one thing we all have trouble saying. Suggested by: SilverInkblot (https://www.deviantart.com/silverinkblot) Featured by: Medoriko (https://www.deviantart.com/medoriko) :thumb447038798: ignorance is a virtue by dreamlandtheories (https://www.deviantart.com/dreamlandtheories) Suggester says: I believe the poem has far more to say than I could ever hope to fit in
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The dark mountain ..
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Mountain Landscape Stock V2
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Minimalism - The Ground Above
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Bulbasaur figurine
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Sketchbook pg 1
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Shark Hat Boy Valentine
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Spotlight

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stop ruining autumn.
listen: fall makes me think of leaving and of apple cider, though i never liked apple cider. but i liked the idea of it. listen: two years ago i met a boy as fragile as dead leaves who called me his little spring girl. (i'd always liked autumn the best.) he kissed the two soft dimples on the small of my back and told me helikedme helovedme hewantedme. and oh, by the way, "everything good must come to an end." listen: on our one year anniversary we picked out two pumpkins and i drew elephants on them for us to carve. he cut his out so aggressively that it lost its shape. lopped off tusks and broken trunks became just a large, jagged ho
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Sep 4
United States
Deviant for 11 years
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Ninja Llama: Llamas are awesome! (549)
An Update
Is anyone else still kicking around on here? No matter how many fresh starts I undergo, DeviantArt remains unchanged. You can find my latest fresh starts on my webpage, Facebook page, or twitter. I'm going to bring some of my old work back into the light of day. Come say hi and tell me if the sky still looks the same after all of these years.
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Take care.
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if you were to buy my book, would you prefer ebook or p...
  |  1498 votes
  • ebook
  • paperback
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Comments2.1K

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YouInventedMe's avatar
I made the mistake of unfollowing people who stopped submitting at some point, only to leave DA for a long time myself. Apparently, I had taken you off while you were gone and missed your brief return while I was away.

I've rewatched you in hopes you pop in again. :heart:
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deadxbirds's avatar
happy belated birthday btw.
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andrsrrp's avatar
andrsrrp|Hobbyist General Artist
did you erase everything you have posted?
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PatchworkLynx's avatar
Happy birthday!!! <3
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Angiebeagoodgirl's avatar
We're still here. Hoping you'll come pour a little more of your heart out so we can watch, curiously comforted that even geniuses are lonely.
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deadxbirds's avatar
miss you <3
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914four's avatar
914four|Hobbyist General Artist
Bonne fête!
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