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Justice Tunes 08

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By Essteka   |   
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Over a year later, I'm finally back with another chapter. But first, I have several questions to answer.

twilightnite13: These are the regular Looney Tunes, but I'm combining both versions of Lola into one. I like both versions, but I know there are people who only prefer one version over the other, so I decided to combine them to please fans of either personality. If there's any person out there who'd prefer I'd stick to just one version over the other, too bad because that ain't gonna happen. About Luthor meeting Swackhammer and Sam meeting Vigilante, I can't promise anything, but we'll see.

Christian: I don't see what would be the purpose of Batgirl fighting any of the Looney Tunes. Anyway, if Barbara shows up, it'll only be up to me if she shows up as either Batgirl or Oracle. About your last question, that's the kind of question I prefer to answer only on deviantART.

Eagullfy and Lilmisscherryontop: I can't say whether Darkseid or Taz are in this story or not, because that would be like revealing a possible spoiler.

comicsfan293: About your first comment, that's the kind of thing I prefer to talk about only on deviantART. About your second comment, I'm only familiar with the Sam and Max cartoon. Point and click games aren't my thing. I've never read their comics, though I wouldn't mind reading them.

Chapter 8: Hare of Steel

A few days have passed since the Justice League decided to run some tests on the Looney Tunes. Among other things, they found out the cartoon characters were able to go through lots of pain without much consequences. However, despite all of the tests they've done so far, there was still one question left unanswered.

"Where do they come from?" Batman wondered out loud, as the eleven Looney Tunes had wires connected to their bodies. "There's no way these things came out of nowhere."

"I briefly considered Mxyzptlk as a suspect for their sudden appearance." Superman commented, referring to one of his recurring enemies, who happens to be an imp from the 5th dimension. "However, I ruled him out when I remembered that, even though this is VERY MUCH his style, it has only been 75 days, instead of 90, since the last time I encountered him."

"There's got to be a logical explanation for how they came to life like that." Wonder Woman said as Flash quickly came next to her.

"Honestly, given all the supernatural forces, alien invasions, and time travels we've had to deal with since any of us became a superhero, meeting cartoon characters in real life is pretty much an average Thursday afternoon." The Scarlet Speedster said.

"Sorry, Flash, but compared to what we've faced before, this is still too strange for me." John replied.

"Either way, we'd better get to the bottom of this before the Teen Titans end up meeting the Tiny Toons, Captain Marvel ends up getting pestered by the Warner Siblings and Supes's super-pooch and his feline friend encounter Rita and Runt." Flash snarked, earning glares from most of the other superheroes. "What? I was just joking! Last time I checked, there was no law against joking."

"You know what's really strange?" Daffy asked.

"What?" Hawkgirl asked.

"The fact that I spent an entire week with all of you guys in that space station, and yet I've still haven't seen any of you eat a peanut butter sandwich." The duck replied, causing a few of the superheroes to raise an eyebrow. "And here I thought all humans were eating that kind of sandwich every day!" he added in disbelief.

"Oh, sufferin' succotash!" Sylvester exclaimed as he slapped his forehead. "Where did ya get that info from?"

"From this book sold to me by a guy named Leo S. Windler." Daffy replied as he took a book from his hidden pocket, with the name of the guy who sold it to him on the cover. "Wait a minute…" he said as he read the guy's name, followed by his eyes going wide as he realized the mistake he made. "Sometimes, I hate my poor decision skills."

"Ha!" Flash exclaimed in amusement at that.

"Well, I have to go now." Superman said. "Contact me if you've found anything else about them."

"No problem, Kal-El." Martian Manhunter nodded.

The Man of Steel then went to the teleportation area, getting himself ready to go back to Metropolis.

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In said city, Lois was at the apartment she was sharing with her husband. She was making some researches on the computer for another report she was in charge of. All of sudden, her stomach started to grumble. The black-haired woman sighed before getting up and walking to the kitchen. As Lois opened the fridge, she noticed something that not only made her eyes widened in surprise, but also caused her to immediately close said fridge. It was at this moment that Clark entered their apartment, removed his coat and put it on the coat rack.

"Lois, I'm home." He said out loud.

"Clark, did you invite anyone for dinner?" his wife asked him.

"No. Why?" the Kryptonian asked as he joined her in the kitchen.

"Well, it looks like someone came here without being invited." She frowned as she opened the fridge.

Clark looked at the inside of it, noticing a certain rascally rabbit casually sitting there as he had a bunch of carrots in his lap.

"Eh…" he said as he munched a carrot. "…what's up, doc?"

The reporter sighed as he scratched his forehead before looking back at the rabbit.

"What are you doing here?" Clark asked him.

"I got bored at the Watchtower, so I figured I could come here in Metropolis and spend some time with my Kryptonian buddy, doc." Bugs replied as he got out of the fridge and closed it. "I had quite a lot of fun when we fought that Metallo guy. Hopefully, I get to fight another member of your rogue gallery in a hilarious way again, Clarky." He added as he flexed his legs and arms before noticing Lois. "Oh! Hello, Ms. Lane. Or rather Ms. Kent. Nice to meet ya. Ya look lovely today." He said as he grabbed her right hand and kissed it like a gentleman.

"Well, at least he has some manners... that is, if you don't count the fact he invaded our fridge." She said, smirking a bit.

"You know my secret... You may be a beloved cartoon character, but how can I trust you?" Clark said, crossing his arms.

"I swear on Lola's head that I'll never tell your secret to anyone." The rabbit said as he raised his left hand in the air for a brief moment. "If I wasn't serious about it, I would have sworn on Daffy's head instead."

Lois then sighed before speaking next.

"I'm gonna regret saying this, but he can stay for dinner and you'll just bring him back at the Watchtower tomorrow." She said.

"Sounds good to me." The Kryptonian replied.

"Glad to hear that!" Bugs enthusiastically said. "I'll be the classiest guest you'll ever get! Or at least I hope so." He added while scratching his chin in thought.

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Somewhere else in Metropolis, several people were at the bank, doing the usual stuff you would expect to see in such a place. Some guy was at the automated teller machine, putting his card inside of it.

"Okay, gonna need some money for my date at the restaurant tonight." The guy thought as he pushed on some buttons. "Also, some money for the stuff I have to buy for my car. And… Oh, yeah. I still owe some money to my brother. Better take care of this now before I forget." He pushed on a few more buttons. One moment later, dollar bills came out of the ATM, which the guy grabbed them all. "Good. I better leave now if I don't wanna be late for my date."

Suddenly, the main entrance door opened up at once, getting the attention of everyone who was at the bank. Everyone had their eyes widened in shock at the one person who entered the place. It was a short guy with a big red mustache, wearing a black thin-strip mask, a beige cowboy hat, a brown long-sleeved shirt, a yellow bandanna, a black belt with a yellow belt buckle, blue pants and black boots. He was holding a gun on each hand.

"Wait… I'm not hallucinating, am I?" the guy at the ATM asked out loud. "Is that…?"

"Yeah, I'm Yosemite Sam! The roughest, toughest, he-man stuffest hombre that's ever crossed the Rio Grande. And I ain't no mamby pamby!" the short guy exclaimed. "Now, gimme all the money you have, ya bunch of dirty skunks!" he added, threatening them all with his guns.

"Oh, my God! First Bugs Bunny, and now Yosemite Sam!" Some male customer exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Are you all deaf or what? I said 'gimme all the money you have', and you're gonna give it to me, darn it!" Sam yelled as he shot several times to the ground, causing him to be lifted in the air for a moment.

"Oh, man! You were always my favorite villain in those Looney Tunes cartoons!" Some female customer exclaimed with a grin as she came near him in excitement. "Honey, take a picture of me with Yosemite Sam!" she yelled to her husband nearby.

"Hey, I haven't come here to take pictures with all of you!" the outlaw exclaimed in annoyance.

"Oh, can you say 'I hate that rabbit'? I'd like to record you saying it!" some other male customer said as he took his cellphone to record it.

"Ooooh! Enough!" Sam exclaimed as he aimed his guns at the customer with the cellphone.

BOOM!

Smoke covered that customer for a few seconds. After the smoke disappeared, he was covered in ashes. Then, he looked at the rest of his body and realized something.

"Hey… I'm not even hurt! No blood, no bullet wounds... Just some ashes covering my body. But I'm perfectly fine!"

"Oh, my God! It's just like in those cartoons!" the female customer from earlier exclaimed gleefully.

"What in tarnation is going on!? You're supposed to run in fear from me!" the Looney Tune yelled, getting even more frustrated.

"Say, could you do some funny cartoon stunt? Like getting hit by an anvil or something?" some other male customer asked him.

"What do ya think am I supposed to be!? A circus performer? Sorry, but ya got the wrong guy for that!" Sam snapped at him.

"Oh, come on! I'd pay ten bucks to see that!"

"Forget about it! I ain't…" All of sudden, the outlaw thought about what that customer just said to him. "Ten bucks, eh?" he wondered out loud, smirking as some ideas came to his mind.

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"Gee, that is some good steak ya made, Clarky." Bugs said as he took a bite of the steak in his plate.

Clark and Lois were both eating steak as well, with all three of them sitting at the kitchen table.

"I'm a bit surprised you didn't summon a bunch of carrots to eat alongside your steak." Lois said, smirking a bit.

"Eh, sometimes, I like to mix things up. I ate enough carrots for the day anyway." The rabbit replied.

"So… what do you usually do in your spare time?" Clark casually asked him.

"Oh, come on, doc. If you've seen my shorts, ya know what I usually do." Bugs replied, snickering a bit. "I mess around with hunters, travel through time and space… Oh, and less excitin', but still as time-consumin', I sometimes babysit my nephews and nieces." He added as he took a wallet from his pocket and showed HUNDREDS of pictures of baby rabbits.

"I should be surprised… but for obvious reasons, I'm not." Lois said while taking a bite of her steak.

"Eh, I wonder what's on TV right now. Mind if I check?" the carrot eater asked as he held the TV remote in the air.

"Go ahead." The Kryptonian replied.

Bugs pushed on a button, turning the TV on. Cat Grant showed up at some place in Metropolis, with a microphone.

"This is Cat Grant. Something unusual, yet familiar, happened here at this bank. Several days ago saw the sudden arrival of Bugs Bunny. Today, however, another character from the Looney Tunes showed up. Fans of those shorts will recognize him as Yosemite Sam." She said. "Right behind me, you can see him attempt to do some stunt."

The camera looked behind her, showing the outlaw in front of a crowd.

"Come on here and marvel at my incredible feats, everyone! For $10 only, you'll get to see me do stunts none of you can do!" Sam shouted at the crowd.

Seeing this, Clark and Bugs looked at each other and nodded.

"Lois…" the male reporter began to say.

"Yeah, I know. No need to ask my permission to leave for your 'other' job." She immediately replied.

"Okay then." Clark replied, smiling at his wife.

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Somewhere else in this city, some guy was walking on the sidewalk, talking on his cellphone. It was a young red-haired man wearing a dark green shirt, greyish blue jeans, a brown vest and brown shoes. His name is Jimmy Olsen, photographer working at the Daily Planet.

"Listen, I'm only calling you simply because I want to test my cellphone." Jimmy said to whoever he was calling. "Lately, it hasn't been working as well as it used to be and… Hello? Hello? Damn it!" he exclaimed as he realized his cellphone wasn't working at all. "Useless phone!"

In a fit of rage, the photographer threw the cellphone into a nearby dark alleyway. The phone hit some dumpster before falling behind it. All of sudden, a growl was heard. Jimmy heard that and arched an eyebrow.

"What the…?" he wondered out loud.

Slowly, Jimmy walked into the alleyway, getting closer to the dumpster.

"I know it's probably not a good idea to look at what just growled, but I can't help being curious about it." The photographer thought to himself.

As he came closer to the dumpster, whatever was behind it appeared and slapped the young man away. The latter landed on his back. As he stood up, rubbing his back in pain, Jimmy looked up and his eyes widened in shock and what was in front of him. It was a purple-skinned man, with certain parts of his body being blue. He also had blank white eyes and sharp teeth.

"The Parasite…" Jimmy said out loud, recognizing one of Superman's enemies.

The aforementioned villain grabbed the dumpster with his hands. Immediately, the photographer started running away and arrived in the street. The Parasite threw the dumpster at Jimmy, the latter avoiding it in the nick of time. The purple-skinned villain then ripped a nearby lamppost off the ground and started swinging at nearby citizens. Everyone started panicking at the sight of the Parasite. Jimmy took this opportunity to take a few pictures, all while trying his best to stay alive.

"Freeze!"

The purple-skinned villain turned to his left and noticed a few police cars parked nearby, with a few cops aiming their guns at him. Angry, he charged into them, knocking many of them out.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" the Parasite yelled furiously.

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Back in front of the bank, Yosemite Sam was ready for his next stunt.

"And now, I will let a safe fall on my head. However, I'll dodge it at the last minute. Watch this!" the outlaw exclaimed as he pulled a nearby rope.

Suddenly, a big, heavy safe appeared from out of nowhere and started falling down towards Sam. The latter was soon covered by the safe's shadow. A few seconds later, the Looney Tune took one step to his left, stepping outside of the shadow. And then…

POW!

Somehow, the heavy object crushed Sam at once. The safe's door opened by itself, showing the outlaw's flattened form as he got out of it. Soon after, he went back to his usual shape, looking dazed as his audience.

"I… messed up…" Sam said before falling face first on the ground.

The audience cheered and laughed at that stunt. The outlaw then stood up, and bowed at his public.

"Thank you all! And now, for my next trick…"

"Ya ain't gonna do anythin' else, Sam." A familiar voice said.

Everyone looked up and saw Superman, flying above them all while carrying Bugs Bunny in his arms. The two of them landed next to the outlaw.

"Bugs! You arrived just in time, varmint! I needed someone to help me pull off a few more cartoon stunts." Sam said to the rabbit.

"Sorry, Sam, but I don't have time for this." The latter said.

"What? Why not? If it's money you want, we can split the profit. I'll get 98%, and you'll get 2%." The outlaw suggested.

"No." Bugs replied, disinterested as he scratched the back of his head.

"How about 3%?"

"Nope."

"4%?"

"Nah."

"5%, and it's my final offer!" Sam exclaimed.

"Listen, Sam. We don't have time for this. We need to get out of here." The carrot eater said.

"No way, rabbit! I'm making a lot of money by entertaining these morons and absolutely NOTHING is gonna make me wanna leave this place!" the outlaw angrily yelled.

Suddenly, rumbles were heard as everyone turned around. A familiar purple-skinned villain showed up, looking more furious than ever.

"Parasite!" Superman exclaimed at his sight.

His enemy grabbed a nearby car and threw it towards the Man of Steel and the Looney Tunes. Said car landed right next to the outlaw. The latter was scared as he realized what just happened before grabbing the rabbit's arm and holding it tightly.

"Do something, Bugs! Get me out of here! Protect me from that maniac! For Freleng's sake, do something!" Sam yelled in panic.

Immediately, the carrot eater grabbed his fellow Looney Tune by his shirt, lifted him up and slapped his face several times in a row to calm him down before dropping him to the ground.

"Calm down, Sam. We'll take care of that guy." The rabbit calmly said while the mustached guy was still panicking.

At this moment, Superman flied towards Parasite, ready to punch him. The villain noticed his enemy and immediately punched him hard enough to send him hit the side of a building. The Man of Steel groaned as he stood up and came out of the hole he made in that building. He had a hard time believing what just happened.

"Whose life energy did you just absorb this time? You're usually not that strong on your own." the Man of Tomorrow said, frowning at the purple-skinned man.

"If you wanna know so badly, I absorb the energy of no one today." The Parasite said, frowning back. "I spent the last several years absorbing the energy of tons of people. Maybe it's because my powers are evolving, but a certain amount of their strength managed to be kept in my body permanently." He said while looking at his hands. "As time went on, my own strength would grow. What you just received is the results of all those years." He added before looking back at his long-time enemy. "I wasn't planning to deal with you today, but I've changed my mind and I'll make you suffer!"

"We'll see about that." Superman said, determined.

The superhero flied back towards the villain as they started punching each other. The Kryptonian avoided the Parasite's fist before punching him in the jaw. He then grabbed the villain and threw him away in the air before flying towards him. Superman was about to punch him again, but the purple-skinned man dodged the attack and punched his enemy hard enough to send him hit the ground. Before the Man of Steel could stand up again, the Parasite landed on him, tackling him. The villain tried to hit the Kryptonian with his fists, but the latter blocked them by grabbing his arms. His enemy then tried to touch him with his hands to absorb his energy. Having none of that, Superman decided to headbutt the Parasite on the head, causing the latter to land on his stomach.

"Pardon me, sir…"

The villain looked up and noticed Bugs Bunny standing up in front of him. Naturally, he was confused to come across a cartoon character in the real world.

"Ya shouldn't be lyin' on the ground right here. Why? Because that's where the eight o'clock train is supposed to pass by…" The rabbit then summoned a watch and looked carefully at it. "…right now."

Right on cue, a train appeared from out of nowhere and ran over the purple-skinned man. Soon after the train left, the Parasite groaned in pain from what just happened.

"Fishes comin' through!"

Before the villain could have a chance to stand up, Bugs was driving a forklift, carrying several heavy boxes filled with hundreds of fishes. The carrot eater dropped them all on the purple-skinned man, burying him under all of that.

"I would make a fish-related pun here, but I'm pretty sure ya all did one already." The rabbit said to the readers, smirking.

Using his strength, the Parasite sent all the fishes away. He then grabbed the forklift and swung it around. Bugs held onto it, but not for long as the villain threw the forklift away. It landed and broke right next to the bank. The rabbit was a bit dizzy as he sat up. He shook his head as he came back to his senses. The carrot eater looked in front of him and noticed that the Parasite resumed his fight against Superman.

"He ain't done with me, yet." Bugs said before leaving for a brief moment and coming back, pushing a cannon with his body. "Now, all I need is a cannonball."

He looked around and noticed Sam standing next to him. The rabbit smirked as the mustached guy noticed him looking at him.

"What are you looking at, varmint!?" Sam asked, annoyed.

"Ya know what, Sam? On second thought, I would gladly help ya pull off a few more cartoon stunts for the ridiculously low amount of money ya offered me earlier." The rabbit replied.

"Really?" the outlaw asked, surprised to hear that.

"Yeah. In fact, let's do one right now!"

The carrot eater grabbed the mustached guy and put him inside the cannon.

"Oops! I almost forgot."

Bugs summoned a protective helmet and put it on Sam's head.

"Brace yourself, Sammy." The rabbit grinned before lighting the fuse on the cannon and covering his ears.

BOOM!

Sam was shot towards the Parasite. The latter just punched Superman away, who then crashed into a nearby building. He turned around and didn't have time to react before the outlaw hit him and caused the two of them to hit a wall. They both fell on the ground, groaning from what just happened.

"I knew I shouldn't have trusted that blasted rabbit!" Sam angrily exclaimed as he removed the helmet from his head.

The mustached guy and the purple-skinned man looked at each other. The latter frowned at the former.

"Hum… Hello." The outlaw said, smiling nervously.

The Parasite grabbed the Looney Tune by his hands. Suddenly, Sam screamed painfully as the purple-skinned villain absorbed his energy. Superman, who just came back from the building he crashed into, widened his eyes in shock at the sight of that. The Parasite then let go of the mustached guy, who fell on his back. The purple-skinned villain felt a strange energy, unlike any other he's ever had. Angry, the Man of Steel flied towards his enemy, grabbed him, held him up in the air, and punched him hard enough to send him towards the sky. Bugs ran towards Sam and checked on him.

"Sam, wake up. It's not the time to rest." The rabbit said, expecting a response.

However, the mustached guy didn't move at all. The carrot eater started to worry.

"Sam… Stop foolin' around." He added, still not getting any response. "Wake up now! Don't force me to worry about your safety for once!" he exclaimed, grabbing the outlaw and shaking him around to wake him up.

Back with the Parasite, the latter was getting higher in the air until he suddenly stopped at mid-air. A bird flew by him, chirping while doing so. The purple-skinned man looked down and realized he was way too far from the ground. He panicked as he fell down and landed on the ground. However, the Parasite was simply flattened like a pancake. After going back to his usual shape, the purple-skinned villain stood up and dusted himself off, as if like it was nothing.

"Wait a minute…" he said as he looked at his hands.

He smirked, realizing he was now able to do things only a cartoon character could do. Several ideas came to his mind at this moment. Soon after, he felt someone coming. Turning around, the villain noticed Superman flying towards him. The purple-skinned villain avoided his enemy's punches by stretching his body in all directions.

"Don't even bother, Superman. You'll never be able to land a hit on me." The Parasite said.

"Trust me. I will hit you sooner than you think!" the Man of Tomorrow exclaimed, more determined than ever.

Suddenly, the villain summoned a huge wooden mallet from out of nowhere and aimed at the Kryptonian. However, the latter used his heat vision to disintegrate the wooden mallet. The Parasite was surprised by that. Superman didn't waste any time and immediately punched his enemy, sending him into a nearby wall. The purple-skinned villain wasn't feeling much pain from that. He then summoned a paintbrush and painted an elevator on the wall. The doors opened, with the villain going inside of it. The Parasite smirked, waving to Superman as the doors closed and the elevator went down. The Man of Steel quickly came near the doors and used his X-ray vision to see if his enemy either went up or down. Much to his surprise, the purple-skinned villain was nowhere to be found, as if like he had vanished into thin air.

"This doesn't look good at all." Superman said, concerned about this whole thing.

He then went back to where Bugs and Sam were. The rabbit was quite worried about the mustached guy, who was still unconscious.

"He's not dead. I can feel that he's still alive." The Kryptonian assured the carrot eater.

The Looney Tune looked at the superhero before looking back at the outlaw.

"Well, that's a relief." Bugs said before sighing.

Feeling sorry for the two Looney Tunes, Superman grabbed both of them and started flying away.

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Back at Lexcorp, Lex Luthor was watching the news. Once again, Cat Grant was shown doing a report.

"Much to the shock of everyone, the criminal known as the Parasite appeared in Metropolis today and went on a rampage." She said. "Superman tried to stop him and fought him for several minutes. One of our cameramen managed to film footage of that fight, which surprisingly also involved Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam. The latter also saw his energy being absorbed by the Parasite, who then managed to do things that are physically impossible even for him."

The businessman looked at the footage of the purple-skinned villain absorbing the energy from the mustached guy and using a few cartoon abilities to fight Superman. He pressed the 'pause' button, pausing the TV on an image of the Parasite.

"Exactly just as I thought." Luthor said, smirking as an idea came to his mind…

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End of chapter.

Superman and Bugs Bunny came across Yosemite Sam, but now the latter is unconscious because of the Parasite. In the next chapter… Actually, I can't say much about the next chapter, because I have two ideas in mind, but I haven't decided which one I'll use first.

Parasite was supposed to encounter some generic citizen of Metropolis. But then, I realized it was a good opportunity to use Jimmy Olsen instead.

Sam yelling 'For Freleng's sake…' is, of course, a reference to his creator, Friz Freleng.

When I started writing this chapter, I didn't plan to end it on such a dramatic note. But then, I got the idea of the Parasite absorbing the energy from one of the Looney Tunes and I saw a lot of potential with such an idea.

Read and review!
Comments4
anonymous's avatar
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Comickook's avatar
Oh, and if and when you DO decide to get back to this story, maybe you could respectfully dedicate the next chapter to the memory of Joe Alaskey.
Essteka's avatar
The thing is the next chapter won't feature Daffy, but the one following that one will, so I decided Chapter 10 will be dedicated to Joe Alaskey (given that his performances as Daffy are probably his most well-known ones when it comes to the Looney Tunes).
Comickook's avatar
Yeah. I understand completely. Thanks.
Comickook's avatar
Hey there. I'm sorry for taking so long to get around to responding to your stuff on this area. Nothing to blame except self-admitted laziness. Anyway, very good job, of course, on the exchanges, action, emotional content, humor, references and future chapter set-up in all the right places. Oh, and, if you DO decide to start doing fanmakes again (and I respect that it IS an "'if'"), Maybe you could make them DeviantART exclusives.

Of course, at any rate, I will still be looking forward to more of your work as soon as time and inspiration will allow.