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Sees-Ill Palmer

By ErinPtah
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I was reading about ridiculous ott Puritan names, and wondering what the equivalents would be in the weird eldritch quasi-religious thing Night Vale has going on, and then this happened.

Mrs. Palmer named her kids after that sacred proverb, "see some evil, hear some evil, speak some evil." So, in age order, they are Sees-Ill, Hears-Ill, and Speaks-Ill.

Sees-Ill takes the faith a step further and joins a religious order after the quiet dissolution of his family. He's happy and content with his life, vows and all...until a perfect and beautiful anthropologist shows up at the service one day. Can you say temptation? Yowza.

(I do not have time to write a whole fic of this AU, but rest assured it would eventually involve Sees-Ill getting illicitly deflowered on a sacrificial altar.)


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Brother Sees-Ill Palmer
Siblings:
Hears-Ill Palmer, Speaks-Ill Carlsberg
Mother: Praise-Ye-All-Powerful-Beams Palmer
Specialty: Long, soothing, welcoming sermons
Vow of celibacy: In trouble.

Carlos: This is the most theologically fascinating place...!
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Comments7
anonymous's avatar
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azurelgirl's avatar
Not all religions require their preachers to take a vow of celibacy. Actually some places expect their religious to get married and have kids.
ErinPtah's avatar
Okay? This is a fictional religion, not any of the real ones, so I'm not sure why you're bringing them up.
azurelgirl's avatar
Oh, I'm just saying that some religious can be in a relationship. I like the idea of Sees-ill's profession interfering with his like for Carlos. I just wanted to add that it is possible to have it both ways. I wasn't sure if you knew that. I am sorry if I offended you.
LittleDesertStar's avatar
LittleDesertStarHobbyist Artist
Pffft xD I started laughing at the celibacy bit
clara954's avatar
Although you are working on BICP and the Night Vale/His Dark Materials AU (both excellent, by the way), this post makes me crave the full story. I keep imagining it ending with something like the religious leader(s) saying, "I/we/the Beams are disappointed in you, Cecil. You know that the ceremony of converting someone into our religion requires at least 13 witnesses. At least you have fulfilled the other requirements (location-altar, sacrifice-your virginity, promises-you and Carlos vowing to love each other forever), but you will simply have to reenact it. With witnesses. Also, the Beams/Glow Cloud (ALL HAIL!)/BROWNSTONE SPIRE/other patron deity wish you congratulations on your marriage."
dreamingoflight's avatar
dreamingoflightStudent Writer
ehehe yessss  (especially the part in parentheses)
ErinPtah's avatar
(That's Cecil's favorite part as well =D)
anonymous's avatar
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