I'm not falling apart,
I just miss you a bit,
Not breaking up more
Than circumstances permit.I'm not pushing this down,
I just can't let it burn.
I can't find strength to break,
Now that I have to learn,Saying 'I love you too'
To someone who's dying.
Smiling for what we had,
So far beyond crying.Learning to hold the hand,
Of someone who won't heal.
I'll squeeze into your heartbeat,
But I refuse to feel.Though I love you too much,
Though it's going to sting,
Without you I'm not broken,
I just don't feel a thing. I'm not crying that much,
I would drown it I did.
I'm not falling apart,
I just miss you bit,
Not breaking up more
Than circum...
Remember the day
When you taught me not to lie?
Did you know then where it would take me?
Or did you think that by the time
My life balanced on the edge,
My body too public and too visible
My heart too private,
Did you think I would by then have learned to compromise?But I remembered. And decided
That integrity
Is more than a pledge made in court
Is more than proper conduct,
And often quite the opposite.
Our integrity pushes is where no one would have us go,
No one but our heart.Our integrity is not some cold intellectual possession.
It is the spark of our life,
Bursting through our skin
Coloring our cheeks,
Shining in our eyes.
It is our ...
Tell me how the world has battered you,
Tell me how you felt to blame,
For every failure put upon you,
Playing an unfair game.Tell me how they told you,
Of the heights to which you'd fly,
As they taught you how to bend your knees,
And never face the sky.Tell me how they promised you,
That you could be a shining star,
By never taking chances,
And never straying far.Let me take your shaking hands,
And wrap my own hands round,
To curl your fingers into fists,
And pick you off the ground.Let me take your shattered smile,
And kiss you with the rage,
Of all the wrong they did to you,
Of the invisible cage.Let me hold your frightened heart,
And s...
I started to live the day you hit me.
The day you taught me bruises heal
Without your kisses to make it better.
I started to grow the day you left me
The day you taught me I could deal
With life after your goodbye letter.I don't need you.
And I remember
The day you cut off my balls
And told me I was too gay to have a family plan.
The day you called me a sissy
And liberated me from the need to 'be a man',
Threw me in the gutter, the day my life began.And I don't need you
Maybe I've always been stronger alone
Or maybe through your abuse I have grown
Into something more than black and blue
There are rainbows on my skin,
Where your fists cou...
I want to fuck up life, as it was meant to be
Fucked up, as we were born to be.
No lines, no reversal,
I want to make love controversial.
Build a family of billions,
Because I'd rather be a bigamist than a bigot.
And my heart has no room for jealousy.
Marry without a ceremony or a blessing,
Wear three wedding rings, and keep people guessing.
I want to be the kind of father,
That gives make-up advice to his son,
Like he was his daughter.
I want to give him the money
To buy his girlfriend her first strap-on, cause honey,
Love is not about rules or tradition.
I can not love with inhibition.
I can not love with moderation,
Let the world shou...
I'm not falling apart,
I just miss you a bit,
Not breaking up more
Than circumstances permit.I'm not pushing this down,
I just can't let it burn.
I can't find strength to break,
Now that I have to learn,Saying 'I love you too'
To someone who's dying.
Smiling for what we had,
So far beyond crying.Learning to hold the hand,
Of someone who won't heal.
I'll squeeze into your heartbeat,
But I refuse to feel.Though I love you too much,
Though it's going to sting,
Without you I'm not broken,
I just don't feel a thing. I'm not crying that much,
I would drown it I did.
I'm not falling apart,
I just miss you bit,
Not breaking up more
Than circum...
Tell me how the world has battered you,
Tell me how you felt to blame,
For every failure put upon you,
Playing an unfair game.Tell me how they told you,
Of the heights to which you'd fly,
As they taught you how to bend your knees,
And never face the sky.Tell me how they promised you,
That you could be a shining star,
By never taking chances,
And never straying far.Let me take your shaking hands,
And wrap my own hands round,
To curl your fingers into fists,
And pick you off the ground.Let me take your shattered smile,
And kiss you with the rage,
Of all the wrong they did to you,
Of the invisible cage.Let me hold your frightened heart,
And s...
I started to live the day you hit me.
The day you taught me bruises heal
Without your kisses to make it better.
I started to grow the day you left me
The day you taught me I could deal
With life after your goodbye letter.I don't need you.
And I remember
The day you cut off my balls
And told me I was too gay to have a family plan.
The day you called me a sissy
And liberated me from the need to 'be a man',
Threw me in the gutter, the day my life began.And I don't need you
Maybe I've always been stronger alone
Or maybe through your abuse I have grown
Into something more than black and blue
There are rainbows on my skin,
Where your fists cou...
I want to fuck up life, as it was meant to be
Fucked up, as we were born to be.
No lines, no reversal,
I want to make love controversial.
Build a family of billions,
Because I'd rather be a bigamist than a bigot.
And my heart has no room for jealousy.
Marry without a ceremony or a blessing,
Wear three wedding rings, and keep people guessing.
I want to be the kind of father,
That gives make-up advice to his son,
Like he was his daughter.
I want to give him the money
To buy his girlfriend her first strap-on, cause honey,
Love is not about rules or tradition.
I can not love with inhibition.
I can not love with moderation,
Let the world shou...
Keep brave my little soldier of the invisible army.
Seek no waves my child of the war.
Fight back hard when under attack,
but hide when you can fight no more.Fight your way down enemy lines unseen by your opposers probing eyes.
Keep your head ducked low, as you hold your chin up high.
Fight this losing battle, so you may win the war.
Find strength in your spirit, pluck courage from your heart.
Your soul is weakened, but has not broken yet.
Keep brave my little soldier,
when you fear you can fight no more.Black, blue, and bloody,
you've come from the battle field alive,but barely.
Your heart is broken, your spirit crushed.
Your soul is woun...
Hi Everyone,It's been forever since I updated my journal and I'm thinking of just removing the entire journal-thingy.
The only think I can think of to put here is another big collective THANK YOU!
for the favorites, comments and such that I've received. I'm so glad my work is appreciated, even though I write/draw/etc mainly for selfish reasons.
So, here's a journalpost to show you all that I have not been replaced by an art-submitting robot.See you,
Eowyntje
Hi everyoneWow, I've had a lot of comments about my prose and poetry lately after the poem No Poetry featured in a few places. I haven't replied to all the comments, typing 'thanks, glad you like it' again and again seems very empty. So here's a collective THANKS! to everyone.See you
Eowyntje
Hi everyoneAs you can see I've been rather creative lately. All ways to let off steam from some very busy weeks of research. Now my research is coming to an end and so is my time in Asia. Soon I'll be back in Europe, though I have no intention to stay put. The next trip to live in new places is again on the horizon, a pattern that became normal recently and that I hope to continue. I also hope very much to return to Asia. Times are changing, jet again. And again it brings both positive and negative feelings. I can only hope it'll continue as my life has until now: more change towards positive then negative.See you
Eowyntje