Aug 2, 2023
It was a scorching hot day in July, and I was sitting on a bench in a bad neighborhood in a city in Eastern Europe waiting for my girlfriend to return from the little corner store where she went to buy water.  There was a bus stop close by where some white middle class looking people were waiting in the shade.  But where I chose to sit was on a bench with a bunch of locals who lived there, all their skin dark from spending days working and walking in the sun.  I noticed a few of the locals look at me strange when I sat down and placed my pack on the ground.  No smiles, just suspicious looks.  I nodded and smiled at the older man sitting next to me.  He had deep lines in the weathered skin on his face, and he sort of chuckled and nodded in response.  I had only been in the country a month or so, and was green with ignorance.  I glanced at the bus stop and noticed everyone staring in our direction.  But I was so hot, and so tired from walking that I couldn't do much more than enjoy the shade and rest.  I reached in my pocket and pulled out a cigarette, and when I did I held the pack towards the man sitting next to me.  He smiled and took one, and after I lit mine I handed him my lighter, and he lit his. 
Right around this time my girlfriend came out of the store and evidently watched my interaction with the man.  She came over speaking harshly at me in a jumbled mix of English and Bulgarian, grabbed my hand and pulled me up and away from the corner.  We rushed past the people waiting for the bus who were looking at me strangely and talking amongst themselves.  They were obviously put off by something.  My girlfriend was livid and started telling me not to ever do what I had just done... simply sitting next to stranger and offering them a cigarette was way out of line.  She told me how thieves in the city will consider me a mark, and considering the fact I usually have my camera gear in my pack, this could end really bad if I'm not careful.  Her fear was palpable.  My ignorance was polarizing.
I was raised around Baltimore city, so in any American city I am generally as sharp as a tack.  I used to pride myself on how I could maneuver through dope neighborhoods relatively unnoticed despite my white skin.  But that was another lifetime, which doesn't translate to my current existence in the least bit.  After 3 years living in Eastern Europe, I'm now well aware that I've entered into a completely different world. 
After spending much more time in this city, the sad fact is that the people here are segregated.  That day I was sitting with Muslims, and the people at the bus stops were Orthodox Christians... and here, those two cultures rarely mingle.  I learned alot that day, and now after being here for so long, it just is what it is.  It may not be pretty, but it is reality. 
All of this said, as an American, I still break this unspoken rule.  Fuck all that, we're all human, and what I see here is more and more people breaking that rule everyday.  This is a fascinating country, because it is truly in the midst of breaking down these invisible walls and charging toward unity and liberation.  People protest in the street here alot, and you will sometimes see these people come together.  It's a uniquely beautiful thing. 
It makes me realize how lucky I am to be raised in a free country like America.  I don't see these barriers, to me they are foriegn and ridiculous.  My privelaged conditioning taught me better.  But, had I never stepped out and challenged myself to live in a different country, and soak in the traditions of a foriegn culture, I never would have known just how lucky I am. 
So as you fight amongst yourselves over politics and other bullshit that bears little relevance to your day to day existence, I hope you remember this.  You're lucky to live in the land of freedom, because many places around the world aren't afforded such luxury... and some places, like the one I now call home, are fighting tooth and nail to enjoy what you were so gracefully given upon your birth. 
Don't let the gatekeepers ruin that.  Now, I watch from far away and cringe at what I often see.  It's downright fucking embarrassing.  The greedy old men my father's age are burning down the most beautiful experiment in the history of humanity, all in the name of more, all as a reaction to their fear of having to survive day to day, hand to mouth, like the rest of us.  They fucked it all up, and that's why I left.  I suffered and struggled at the hands of their failure and ignorance enough for one lifetime. 
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