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The Great Cactus Cookout - All teams

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“Are you QUITE serious?” Fay asked Maran.

“I am.” Maran confirmed. “We all know you can cook, and cook well, so you should partake in the cooking.”

“Any why don’t YOU do it?” Fay asked. “You’re not bad.”

“My talents would be better suited to setting out the plates, organizing the tables, and making sure everything is an un-sanded as possible.”

“And what of the other two?” Fay asked. “I dunno what Digi’s going to do except trouble...and Bian...ehhh…”

“I’ve asked Bian to make sure Digi doesn’t get into trouble.” Maran said rather simply. “He’s been getting better at keeping him in check...and I told Digi that I would be QUITE disappointed of this feast didn’t go well because of him.”

“Where’s that runt at anyway?” Fay asked. “I haven’t heard any screaming or fights in a while...”

“He’s with Bian and the two of them are out for a stroll.” Maran explained. “Digi’s never been to a desert so it should be nice to explore his more...natural environment. I’m sure he’ll tell me all about it later.”

“Well I’ll just hope Bian doesn’t end up buries.” Fay sighed. “Alright I’ll cook. You get to setting up.”

“Meet up at the hotel when we’re done?” Maran asked.

“Sounds good.” Fay nodded. “Assuming we don’t meet while we’re stuffing our faces.”

Maran chuckled and nodded. “Don’t eat too much meat, you’ll get a stomach ache~”

“YES MOTHER.” Fay said with an overly dramatic groan and from there they finally parted ways.


“These is the worst place.” Digi grumbled and kicked a sand dune.

“It depends on your perspective...but this is also your natural habitat.” Bian stated.

“EVERYTHING IS AWFUL HERE!” Digi bellowed and threw his arms into the air. “I can’t dig cause the sand just goes behind me and blocks my air, there is nothing but sand and prickly cactuses for MILES, AND IT’S HOT!”

“I thought you didn’t mind the heat.” Bian said. “You weren’t complaining when we first came here.”

“Thats cause I can take it but...we’ve been here for hours! It just wears on you!” Digi groaned. “It sucks the big one. I’m surprised you’re fine. You don’t even drink water.”

“I have a high heat tolerance.” Bian stated simply. “And cooling fans should things become hazardous. Fire is a separate issue however.”

“Uhhh...this place sucks. Let’s go back.” Digi commanded and started walking back.

“Are you sure?” Bian asked quickly. “We could attempt other things...such as...finding out what a cactus’s roots look like.”

“Really? That’s the best you got?” Digi asked, looking slightly amused.

“...There is not much to really do.” Bian admitted. “We’ve done almost everything I could think of to keep you busy out here.”

“Keep me busy?” Digi asked with sudden suspicion.

“Yes. I am here to keep an eye on you and keep you entertained outside of town. Maran asked me to.” Bian said simply.

“...You’re no fun.” Digi muttered. “You don’t even try to lie.”

“What would I gain from lying to you?” Bian asked. “It would do harm to your trust in me.”

“Ehhh...well no, it’d keep me here longer, and then maybe I’ll have fun picking apart your lies and making fun of you for being awful at lying.”

“But what if I am a great liar?” Bian asked.

Digi snorted at this. “No you’re not. Remember that time you said Mesa was out my window? That sounded so weird. ‘Look. There he is. Mesa. Out the window. Mesa. Over there.’ Really selling it buddy.”

“...It is a lie I did not want to tell.” Bian said lowly. “I knew what would happen...but he was determined. I could not deny him.”

“What? You have a crush on Refi too?” Digi asked with a growing smirk. “Gosh what would Maran say~”

Bian paused, pondering this for a moment. “I would not say I have that particular affection for him. It does not fit the descriptions I have of absolute affection. I would label it more as I could sense his determination and felt I had no choice but to aid him.”

“UGGGGHHHHH!!! Why can’t you be more fun to poke fun at!?” Digi groaned and flopped over onto the sand. “You just have nothing to hide.”

“Of course I do.” Bian said simply.

“What?” Digi asked and sat up quickly. “Wait...are you lying?”

Bian paused to ponder how to answer this. “...Yes.”

“No you’re not! You’re hiding something!!” Digi demanded.

“No I’m not.” Bian said. “But if I was I wouldn’t tell you.”

“SHIT!” Digi growled. “I taught you how to lie and now you have a secret!”

“Thank you.” Bian said with almost a chuckle. He couldn’t really give Digi any credit for this, it was just a plan to occupy him a little longer.

“Ugh….whatever. Let’s go back to town. What are Maran and Fay doing anyway?” Digi asked.

“Preparing a feast.” Bian stated. “Cooking I’d assume.”

“Sweet let’s go grab a bite to eat!” Digi said eagerly and started marching back to town.

“Are you certain?” Bian asked. “There is not much to do that would hold your attention but Maran...well...you could end up doing something bad.”

“Yeah. It’s what I do.” Digi said. “I mean I’ll try to be good but I’m hungry as hell.”

“...I cannot stop you, but might I ask that you ask before you snack?” Bian suggested.

“Sure sure. Man  I am in the mood for some meat...or maybe something sweet…” Digi mused and continued his march back to town.


It sure took a while but he’d made his way back, and right as the scent of food filled the air. “Mmm...hot damn, smell that meatroot!” Digi whistled. “Hey which kitchen is Fay in?”

“Why do you think-?” Bian was about to ask, but Digi cut him off.

“I know Fay’s good at cooking, and he’s not gonna be setting the table, so if you’re here, and we’re all getting credit for this cooking thing, then that means he’s cooking.” Digi surmised.

“This is surprisingly well thought out for you.” Bian said with a hint of approval. “How long were you thinking about this?”

“Half an hour!” Digi proclaimed.

“Ah. I suppose that is a sizeable chunk of time.” Bian noted. “Good for you...however, if you’re looking for Fay, I can only assume you mean to terrorize him, so why would I tell you when he is actually working on something of relative importance?”

“Caaaause I can do an awful lot of-BWARGH!” Digi was about try and force Bian to tell him but then Bian used Confuse Ray on him, causing the Sandshrew to stumble around in a stupor for the next minute before he could clear his head.

“I hope you don’t try and pull anything like that ever again.” Bian said sternly.

“Ugh...FINE!” Digi grumbled bitterly. “Alright...I just think I can get away with eating more if he’s around. Maybe something he’s making. I can say he’s feeding me early.”

“Acceptible. Follow me.” Bian said and floated off.

Digi was rather taken aback by this sudden change of heart. “W-what? Really?” He asked as he trailed behind the Shedinja.

“Most certainly. I am aware you have a large appetite for someone of your size.” Bian said simply. “And Fay will more certainly be able to sneak you enough scraps to tide you over until the feast is ready. I ask however than you behave or he is unlikely to feed you.” Bian paused. “...I shall warn you that he shall also most likely tease you. Are you capable of handling this?”

“You know the answer. It depends.” Digi said and started walking faster, catching a whiff of cooking food. He knew where the kitchen was. “Aw yeah! Meat!” He charged into a large building much to the protest of those who saw him, but he was already gone before they could take a step towards him. He tracked the smell of meat and pastries all the way to Fay where...shockingly enough, he was leading the kitchen staff and rolling dough.

“Mister Fay, we’re out of Pita filling!” A Meditite said quickly.

“Alright I’m on it. Take over for me.” Fay said and walked off. “Roll it to a quarter inch!”

“Yes sir!” The Meditite grabbed the rolled and got to rolling the dough. Fay sped over to the kitchen where he grabbed a satchel of ground meatroot and poured it into a large mixing bowl. Everyone else was busy doing something, but despite his efforts, there was just no coordination since so many had volunteered and overwhelmed the original kitchen staff. They were out of crushed dried Spelon berries, the spices hadn’t been restocked, and the newcomers hadn’t learned the recipes.

“Sup Fay!” Digi said, choosing now to make himself known.

“Oh god…” Fay groaned and placed a paw to his face. “Not you. Not now.”

“Relax you butthead I’m just here for food.” Digi said with a small smirk...he both enjoyed seeing Fay being stressed like this and was both sorry he wasn’t the cause of it.

“Right...food.” Fay muttered. They had some ready and he was ready to give a bit of it away to get rid of him. “Say, where’s Bian?”

“I think he’ll be here soon. I ran off without him.” Digi said flatly. “Sooo...feed me!”

“In a minute. Why don’t you crush some berries?” Fay asked. “It’ll let me get to the cooked food faster.”

“Gimmie those berries. They’re gonna be powder when I’m done with ‘em!” Digi said almost boastfully. Fay handed him a bowl of the dried berries and Digi started pounding them with his little first. “Yeah! Take that berries!”

Fay almost smiled as he watched...and decided to leave him be, going to gather and mix the spices that would go into the meat. When he returned...he found Digi methodically tearing the berries into the tiniest pieces he could manage. “Gave up on crushing?”

Digi looked up at him and frowned...his eyes were a little red. “...I-I sneezed...the powder left the bowl and got in my face. No more powder.” That made Fay’s day...and what was about to happen next furthered this.

“Faaaaay!” A familiar voice called out. “Where are you?”

“OVER HERE!” Fay called out. Soon an Arcanine lumbered over to him with an Abra on his back. “Well well well...Pharion and Kaza. What’s the occasion?”

“We’re here to cook!” Kaza said happily. “Dad went to help some lady that was having some trouble kneading dough.”

“Oh I bet he is…” Fay chuckled. “Alright then Kaza, you know how to roast the meat right? They’re pretty specific about it.”

“Yeah, I-” Kaza was quickly cut off.

“DONE!” Digi bellowed and thrust a bowl full of tiny Spelon berry shreds. “Gimmie food you ass!” Kaza and Pharion were quite startled at this sudden outburst. They didn’t even know he had been there! Kaza almost fell off Pharion’s back but grabbed onto his mane and steadied himself. “Also hello. Come down here. I demand hugs!”

“H-hello Digi…” Kaza said after a short pause and climbed down, but Fay stepped the way and intercepted Kaza’s hug for Digi.

“Ahhhh, Kaza hugs are sooo nice~” Fay cooed almost teasingly, giving Kaza a tight embrace.

Digi sprang forward, ready to start tearing into Fay’s back, but Pharion raised a paw and tried to move it in the way, accidently swatting him out of the air. “Ah! S-sorry!” Pharion stammered as Digi sailed off.

“Woooo, there he goes!” Fay said almost gleefully as the Sandshrew vanished into the crowd. “Anyway...I’ll deal with him. You can manage the Meatroot Needle Skewers right?”

“The what?” Pharion asked.

“Oh, we can totally do that!” Kaza said eagerly. “Especially with Pharion here.”

“Alright good. I’ll finish what I was doing here and tend to Digi.” Fay said and gave them both a peck on the cheek. Pharion’s cheeks turned rosy but Kaza smiled and giggled. “Alright, off with the both of you, I got work to do! If you see Bian though...send him over.”

“Will do!” Kaza said with a short nod and scaled his arcanine friend once more, guiding him to an area filled with roasting pits that were not burning with wood, but dried cactus husks. “Alright, this is the place! Pharion, I know it’d be faster to torch them with a flamethrower, but here this is the tradition. I’d like you to go around and see if there are any flames that are going out and get them burning again.”

“What’s that smell?” Pharion asked as he stepped closer to one of the smoldering pits. “There’s some juice on the meat…smells kinda sweet.”

“That’s cactus juice.” Kaza said simply. “The locals really have to be resourceful when they survive in environments like this, so they use a lot of cactus in their everyday life. Their food is no exception. It’s just a custom at this point but it yields a unique flavor.”

“Huh...they even stuck it on a big cactus needle.” Pharion said, slightly amused. “Alright let’s get to work!”

Kaza got off Pharion’s back and the two got to work. Kaza observed the pieces of meatroot, only a few were unattended to, so he replaced the ones that were cooked enough and rotated others while Pharion took it upon himself to also fetch more dried cactus husks for pits that were running low on fuel or the flames were dying down.


Time passed, but the food had been cooked, the plates and tables had been set, and the group had managed to meet up near a wall. Digi however had an arm-full of Desert Sweetcakes and currently stuffing one in his mouth.

“Hey, give me one.” Fay said and reached for one.

Digi swatted his hand away and swallowed what was in his mouth. “How about you screw yourself. I’m only sharing with Kaza and Maran.”

Zar’roc raised an eyebrow and chuckled. “So glad that we mean so much to you.”

“Eehhh...I worked for this.” Digi said and paused, giving Kaza a hopeful look.

Kaza stared back at him. “...Oh! Can I have one?”

Digi grinned and tried to look cool as he handed him one. “W-well, if you ask so nicely, I guess I have no choice but-”

Digi was cut off as Fay snatched it and started nibbling on the sweet. “Thanks runt.”

Digi tossed the rest of his sweetcakes at Maran and advanced on Fay, who quickly made himself scarce. “I WILL EAT YOUR ANKLES!”

Everyone simply watched Digi vanish along with Fay into the crowd. “Should we…?” Kaza began.

“No.” Zar’roc said. “This is just their...thing.”

“For better or worse.” Maran sighed as she held his sweets in her wings. “Want one sweetie?”

“Oh, sure!” Kaza said and took one of the pastries.

“Can I have one too?” Pharion asked and tried making puppy dog eyes at Maran. She rolled her eyes but gave him one.

“If he asks, Kaza ate two.” Maran instructed.
Everyone's busy cooking up a storm here or setting the place up for a feast...except Digi and Bian.

Zar'roc and Kaza belong to Team Arlion
Fay and Bian belong to Sacred Search
Maran and Digi belong to Gaia's Flight
Pharion belongs to Team Frostfire
© 2015 - 2023 Enja-Lumerias
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NobleBlaze's avatar
Oh yay! More stories!