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About Digital Art / Hobbyist Engelina28Female/Unknown Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
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Statistics 84 Deviations 84 Comments 1,752 Pageviews
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Newest Deviations

Feeling discarded by Engelina28 Feeling discarded :iconengelina28:Engelina28 0 2 The world beyond by Engelina28 The world beyond :iconengelina28:Engelina28 5 1 Reading by Engelina28 Reading :iconengelina28:Engelina28 9 0 Calliphoridae fly by Engelina28 Calliphoridae fly :iconengelina28:Engelina28 0 0 Spider on Hemerocallis by Engelina28 Spider on Hemerocallis :iconengelina28:Engelina28 2 0 Hemerocallis by Engelina28 Hemerocallis :iconengelina28:Engelina28 3 0 Hemerocallis Lola Branham by Engelina28 Hemerocallis Lola Branham :iconengelina28:Engelina28 0 0 Bee collecting pollen on Hemerocallis by Engelina28 Bee collecting pollen on Hemerocallis :iconengelina28:Engelina28 1 0 Spider on Hemerocallis by Engelina28 Spider on Hemerocallis :iconengelina28:Engelina28 1 0 Snail by Engelina28 Snail :iconengelina28:Engelina28 2 0 Verbena Bonariensis by Engelina28 Verbena Bonariensis :iconengelina28:Engelina28 3 0 Purple flower with bee by Engelina28 Purple flower with bee :iconengelina28:Engelina28 0 0 Spider by Engelina28 Spider :iconengelina28:Engelina28 1 0 Purple flower by Engelina28 Purple flower :iconengelina28:Engelina28 1 0 Bee by Engelina28 Bee :iconengelina28:Engelina28 1 0 Almost blooming by Engelina28 Almost blooming :iconengelina28:Engelina28 0 0

Random Favourites

REIGN OF NIGHT by Rajveer0908 REIGN OF NIGHT :iconrajveer0908:Rajveer0908 8 3
Journal
....Out Like a Lamb (Stock Use March '16)
It finally seems like the cold has gone for good--at least in my neck of the woods! And thank God for that!!! 
Along those lines, I am here to present to you the lovely and heartwarming pieces of beautiful art that included some of my stock! Please enjoy, visit and fav! Give these wonderful artists so much love that they truly deserve!!!












The many faces of India by EveBlackwood
Portal by UlliSchoell
Puppet show(Fund Raising) by Renata-s-art

Alishondra The Dark.... by AmethystRaven-Art
Flight of Icarus by SybilThorn
:iconMom-EsPeace:Mom-EsPeace
:iconmom-espeace:Mom-EsPeace 14 53
Stock_Element Stone by Tsitra360 Stock_Element Stone :icontsitra360:Tsitra360 384 201
Literature
Fire alone can save our clan
Fire alone can save our clan
A goose feather caught
Into blue fur scorching
Like fire and ice
As a shooting star blazing
A blackbird began its song
By sun a pelt sparked
Like flames of orange
The eager kittypet, stalked
With a fur of fire
Unknowing you came
Into the forest
Rusty was your name
Dream after dream
You chased a mouse
Yellow eyes watching you
Awoken yet inside the house
A touch of gray
Opened your eyes
A new path, a new life
An omen from the skies
Blue she was, a queen
Majestic and powerful
In search of fire
A sign so meaningful
Becoming a warrior
Starting as a paw
Days become months
Betrayal is what you saw
A murderer, a traitor
A tiger and his claws
Death of another and his own
Sweet honey from his jaws
Your journey forwards
Adventures you'll be chasing
From here to eternity
More fighting than dazing
When the tiger is caught
And the plot is near
One paw becomes Graystripe
Your names triple in a cheer
It is you ...
Fireheart
:iconTap-Photo-and-Co:Tap-Photo-and-Co
:icontap-photo-and-co:Tap-Photo-and-Co 98 81
The slopes of Ngranek (contest entry) by Xiphosuras The slopes of Ngranek (contest entry) :iconxiphosuras:Xiphosuras 4 9 Waking the dragon by IronMandy Waking the dragon :iconironmandy:IronMandy 6 5 Jane Eyre by SilverFable Jane Eyre :iconsilverfable:SilverFable 9 8 Anastasya confession by GraphixRiver Anastasya confession :icongraphixriver:GraphixRiver 25 0 Blue vintage action by Bokehlie Blue vintage action :iconbokehlie:Bokehlie 514 37 vintage grunge brushes by alex16 vintage grunge brushes :iconalex16:alex16 1,375 202 Vintage Effect Action by Irridian Vintage Effect Action :iconirridian:Irridian 837 128 #8 Texture Pack (900x600) - Vintage Roses by Ainhel #8 Texture Pack (900x600) - Vintage Roses :iconainhel:Ainhel 1,881 420 ..::Vintage Actions::.. by Whimsical-Dreams ..::Vintage Actions::.. :iconwhimsical-dreams:Whimsical-Dreams 1,846 629 T Sawyer  Standing Back Png Model Stock (updated) by Mom-EsPeace T Sawyer Standing Back Png Model Stock (updated) :iconmom-espeace:Mom-EsPeace 160 88 a Cat by mistyt-stock a Cat :iconmistyt-stock:mistyt-stock 161 57

Groups

Activity


My nightmare by Engelina28

The stalker story behind "My Nightmare"


Somewhere at the beginning of 2013 I registered on a site. I had so much fun in there and made a lot of new friends. December 2013 I got a personal message from a member. M. was such a kind guy and we started talking through personal messages. We talked every day and it was like he was completely understanding me. I started writing in a topic he requested me to write and there I found new friends. Gradually I started talking less and less with my old friends. All the while M. and I talked through personal messages every day. M. did not like that I talked to some male friends, so I stopped talking to them. M. was saying things that sometimes did not add up and in the back of my head there was this voice telling me that there was something really wrong. But how could there be something wrong when I had such a good friend who was always there for me. He was even giving a +1 on every post I made on the forums and on profiles. My reputation points were growing very fast.

In June 2014 I started to feel more and more that there was something wrong. It was like he was checking everything I did online and comment about it afterwards through pm. Also I lost more and more friends because he did not like me talking to males. He became so pushy, time consuming and I felt like he was stalking me all over the site. And the questions he asked… I just could not refuse him to give him info and pictures. If I did he would just keep pushing through personal messages until I told him or send the picture. July 2014 I self deleted. 

After a week I decided to come back because I missed my friends and a moderator helped me get my account back. M. was so extremely angry at me. He kept jelling at me for days. Stating that he never wanted to see “self delete” on my profile again and demanding to give my email address so he could contact me outside of the site too. So I eventually gave him my email address when he kept pressuring me. I did not want him to be angry at me. I wanted my friend back and no more angry messages.

September or October 2014 he wanted me to become chairwoman of a thread. He kept pushing me, saying that without my help the community would die and I suspect he also messaged users from the community to vote on me so I became chairwoman as he wanted. All the while he kept messaging me. Telling me exactly how I should run the thread, who I should talk to and what I should say. He was even telling me when to come online. And when I asked questions like where he worked, how old he was etc. he did not want to answer me. I had to tell him everything and he just would not tell me anything about himself. He did send me 3 pictures of himself, but I now doubt it were his actual pictures.

After that things were going more downhill. Some mornings I would come online and it turned out he had been going through my activities on that site again. Pages and pages of +1 on my reputation tab from him and comments about what I had done wrong according to him or who I should not talk to anymore. And his messages became more and more pushy. At other times he could be the nice and kind guy that I had met  December 2013. He told me to do or say things I did not want to, but he kept pushing me until I did what he said and I would see the nice and kind guy from December 2013 back.

Christmas 2014 I was going on vacation with my family. I did not dare to tell him as I knew he would become very angry that I would be gone for a week without contact. So I told him 2 days before we went. Again he got so angry at me! And when I got back he told me it was all my fault that the activity in the community had almost died out because I had gone on vacation.  He was angry at me until New Year’s Eve. Then he stayed up all night with me talking until after 1 AM like we did when we first met. My old friend seemed to be back. 

But that was only one evening. After that he became moodier and angrier. He even started to say what I should wear, when I should be online and meddling in my personal life in other ways. I did not want this! He was suffocating and scaring me. Why did he make me promise time after time that I would let him in my house when he would be at the door. Asking for my promise several times a day and saying I could not go back on my promise once he arrived. But I did not want him at my house and most definitely not in my house!

I started to get online less and less. Using being busy at work as an excuse. He was so angry at me all the time and I was so scared. At the end of January 2015 he was tired of my coming online less. He kept pushing me to come online more and telling me which times to be there. I tried to go against him by telling him I could not, but he got angrier and angrier. I hardly ate anymore, had nightmares of him showing up at my house and lived in fear.

Then I made a big mistake. On Valentine’s day I posted an image with hearts on the profiles of several male users. When he discovered he went berserk. Never had I seen him so angry! I could not take it anymore and want out. I did not want to live this way anymore. So I send him a message. Saying goodbye and that I was never going to talk to him again. Then I blocked him. That was when the emails started. He send me over 100 in just a few hours. Telling me I was killing him. That he could not live without me and that he loved me. I replied by saying leave me alone and after that not answering anymore.

A moderator wanted to help me and asked if he could talk to M., but I was so scared! What would happen if M. was confronted? Would he blackmail me, tell everything about me to the site staff and wouldn’t staff think that I was to blame for the entire situation. Such a nice and popular guy and I was accusing him of stalking? Who would believe a nobody? So I self deleted and left the site.

It took me years to not look over my shoulder and for my nightmares to stop. But it still affects me until this day.

Pride

BE YOURSELF

Made with pride by the DeviantArt community BROWSE ALL ART

My nightmare by Engelina28

The stalker story behind "My Nightmare"


Somewhere at the beginning of 2013 I registered on a site. I had so much fun in there and made a lot of new friends. December 2013 I got a personal message from a member. M. was such a kind guy and we started talking through personal messages. We talked every day and it was like he was completely understanding me. I started writing in a topic he requested me to write and there I found new friends. Gradually I started talking less and less with my old friends. All the while M. and I talked through personal messages every day. M. did not like that I talked to some male friends, so I stopped talking to them. M. was saying things that sometimes did not add up and in the back of my head there was this voice telling me that there was something really wrong. But how could there be something wrong when I had such a good friend who was always there for me. He was even giving a +1 on every post I made on the forums and on profiles. My reputation points were growing very fast.

In June 2014 I started to feel more and more that there was something wrong. It was like he was checking everything I did online and comment about it afterwards through pm. Also I lost more and more friends because he did not like me talking to males. He became so pushy, time consuming and I felt like he was stalking me all over the site. And the questions he asked… I just could not refuse him to give him info and pictures. If I did he would just keep pushing through personal messages until I told him or send the picture. July 2014 I self deleted. 

After a week I decided to come back because I missed my friends and a moderator helped me get my account back. M. was so extremely angry at me. He kept jelling at me for days. Stating that he never wanted to see “self delete” on my profile again and demanding to give my email address so he could contact me outside of the site too. So I eventually gave him my email address when he kept pressuring me. I did not want him to be angry at me. I wanted my friend back and no more angry messages.

September or October 2014 he wanted me to become chairwoman of a thread. He kept pushing me, saying that without my help the community would die and I suspect he also messaged users from the community to vote on me so I became chairwoman as he wanted. All the while he kept messaging me. Telling me exactly how I should run the thread, who I should talk to and what I should say. He was even telling me when to come online. And when I asked questions like where he worked, how old he was etc. he did not want to answer me. I had to tell him everything and he just would not tell me anything about himself. He did send me 3 pictures of himself, but I now doubt it were his actual pictures.

After that things were going more downhill. Some mornings I would come online and it turned out he had been going through my activities on that site again. Pages and pages of +1 on my reputation tab from him and comments about what I had done wrong according to him or who I should not talk to anymore. And his messages became more and more pushy. At other times he could be the nice and kind guy that I had met  December 2013. He told me to do or say things I did not want to, but he kept pushing me until I did what he said and I would see the nice and kind guy from December 2013 back.

Christmas 2014 I was going on vacation with my family. I did not dare to tell him as I knew he would become very angry that I would be gone for a week without contact. So I told him 2 days before we went. Again he got so angry at me! And when I got back he told me it was all my fault that the activity in the community had almost died out because I had gone on vacation.  He was angry at me until New Year’s Eve. Then he stayed up all night with me talking until after 1 AM like we did when we first met. My old friend seemed to be back. 

But that was only one evening. After that he became moodier and angrier. He even started to say what I should wear, when I should be online and meddling in my personal life in other ways. I did not want this! He was suffocating and scaring me. Why did he make me promise time after time that I would let him in my house when he would be at the door. Asking for my promise several times a day and saying I could not go back on my promise once he arrived. But I did not want him at my house and most definitely not in my house!

I started to get online less and less. Using being busy at work as an excuse. He was so angry at me all the time and I was so scared. At the end of January 2015 he was tired of my coming online less. He kept pushing me to come online more and telling me which times to be there. I tried to go against him by telling him I could not, but he got angrier and angrier. I hardly ate anymore, had nightmares of him showing up at my house and lived in fear.

Then I made a big mistake. On Valentine’s day I posted an image with hearts on the profiles of several male users. When he discovered he went berserk. Never had I seen him so angry! I could not take it anymore and want out. I did not want to live this way anymore. So I send him a message. Saying goodbye and that I was never going to talk to him again. Then I blocked him. That was when the emails started. He send me over 100 in just a few hours. Telling me I was killing him. That he could not live without me and that he loved me. I replied by saying leave me alone and after that not answering anymore.

A moderator wanted to help me and asked if he could talk to M., but I was so scared! What would happen if M. was confronted? Would he blackmail me, tell everything about me to the site staff and wouldn’t staff think that I was to blame for the entire situation. Such a nice and popular guy and I was accusing him of stalking? Who would believe a nobody? So I self deleted and left the site.

It took me years to not look over my shoulder and for my nightmares to stop. But it still affects me until this day.

deviantID

Engelina28's Profile Picture
Engelina28

Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
Interests

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconliquid-timescape:
liquid-timescape Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2018   General Artist
Hello dear, many thanks for the watch!🌺💕
Reply
:iconrawpoetry:
RawPoetry Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2017  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks so much for the favorite! :love:
Reply
:iconfinangel:
FinAngel Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for the watch!:hug:
Reply
:iconrajveer0908:
Rajveer0908 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Hey, thank you for the fav on 'Reign of night'
Means a lot <3
Reply
:icontap-photo-and-co:
Tap-Photo-and-Co Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Dank je wel voor de :+fav:
Reply
:icontinalouiseuk:
TinaLouiseUk Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanksfav by TinaLouiseUk  2863577b7gyj6lqd4 by TinaLouiseUk
Reply
:iconcalamitycassie:
CalamityCassie Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks again for the fav! Heart
It's wonderful to have someone who likes my work.
Reply
:iconsakurapotter:
sakurapotter Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2016
Thanks for the :+fav:
Reply
:iconashleyxbrooke:
AshleyxBrooke Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
Hey there!  :icondawelcomewagon:

Welcome to Deviant Art :aww: hope you enjoy your time here :dummy: If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask :heart:

:bulletpink: Stop by the DAWelcomeWagon group or the #welcome chatroom to get started!
:bulletpink:Check out dAmnHub to get involved with chat events or just to find a chat that you'd be interested in being part of  :)
:bulletpink: Check out projecteducate to keep up with projects/events on Deviant Art
:bulletpink: Want to share your art with other deviants? Check out #ThumbHub and #CritiqueStation  



Prepare to become addicted :iconteheplz:

:gummybear:
Reply
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