In this life, we will have the moments when others offend or hurt us in such a personal way that we feel it is our right to withhold forgiveness for that person. I myself have been guilty of this many times over. But what I have learned throughout my life is that whenever I didn't forgive someone of their trespass against me, it didn't hurt that person, but rather myself, because I was not willing to let the sensation of letting go of that offense done by the other person. In some cases, the person had no idea they had ever done anything to offend me, and were certainly mystified as to why I held them in contempt.
It took a fair amount of years for me to realize that I needed to tell that person who had offended me why I felt the way that I did. In doing so, I was able to break free from the shackles of frustration, fury, and oppression that I had allowed myself to be chained to by refusing to forgive. Sometimes the offending party refused to accept their part in the conflict, and I had to accept that no matter what I may have felt about that or what I wanted to occur. But then there were the instances where the other person was truly sorrowful for their actions, and a peaceful accord was reached, satisfying for all involved. If I had not forgiven in those times, who know how long the conflict may have gone on?
So I ask of you, to at least consider forgiving those who hurt you. Maybe this is not possible for you at a certain time about a certain person over a certain event. If so, that is okay. But if you are holding back forgiveness simply because you feel it gives you power over another person (especially if that person has apologized to you earnestly), you are not being fair to either that person or, more importantly, yourself.
Forgive. And claim back the peace you so richly deserve.
(For the record, these are my words, and not something I read)
I see life has taught us similar lessons. You're right that sometimes people think not forgiving gives them power, but it's really just holding onto the pain. It actually takes more strength to forgive and move on, but it is a wonderful relief to finally let go. I hope your words inspire more people to make amends with each other and forgive.