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I'm so frustrated. I hate everything I make. I change my style, my technique, my medium, to see if I like it better, but it just feels false.

There are other artists that I wish I could make art like, but that seems wrong, too. I don't want to just copy someone else, even if I could manage to do it well. But I don't seem to like anything I do.

Maybe I just want to be someone else. Someone who actually knows how to make a living as an artist and isn't mute with social anxiety. People might actually like me as a real person then instead of seeing me as a distant weirdo who never answers their comments

What do you do when you hate your art? When it's not a technical/skill-based problem, but an artistic one? Like, how do they get their ideas? How do they think up so many details to put in a piece? that one's really stymied me for a long time. You know artists who cram tons of intricate details into their work? How tf do they think that shit up? I'm not talking about how they actually draw it, because drawing any amount of detail is just a matter of patience. I'm not asking how to draw the details, I'm asking *what* do you draw for these details?

I'm not articulating myself clearly

don't worry about it if you don't understand

I feel like such a failure. this is not where I hoped I would be in my mid 30s. probably because I spent my teens and 20s banking on a pipe dream that I wasn't willing to do the work for rather than making real plans for my life. But that pipe dream was the only thing I've ever wanted to do at any point in my life, and I don't even want that anymore. You could say that I could make plans now for my life, but there isn't anything I want to do with it.
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UnlivableSquire Featured By Owner Edited Feb 5, 2019  Hobbyist General Artist
Tbh, I have been there. On all those counts.

I hated my writing for so long. It was angsty bullshit that cried to the walls at night (the poems not me, but hey sometimes me too). Eventually, I actually walked away from writing for many years. Took the time and invested into growing up and out into the world and one day I thought why did I give up writing? Then I went back and read my old shit and was... "oh that's why". Started it up again, but I had grown into a different person and it had definitely changed with me.

I mean for actual drawing I am at a level -1 which is sad because I wish I could articulate what's going on in my head some days.

As for stacking my hopes on dead ends... more often than I care to fully admit, but often enough that I have been burnt for most if not all my life. (hmm still angsty...)

Truth be told though, I was hamlet... I thought endlessly about what my life could be like but lacked the action. Eventually, I lost enough that it was only action that remained to me as a course of... well... action. I am talking a year living in the woods/street/rock-fucking-bottom. The only way out is either up or underground and it's fucking cold down there.

We reinvent ourselves every single day. Do something today with yours.

And wow I sound like a motivational speaker in highschool... sorry about that.

mmm last thing of note: I really appreciated the truthful honesty I found in your page. Truthful openness always gets its like returned, so there was mine.
BDD-CriticalBlue Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2019  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You want better. Nothing wrong with that, all artists have been and are at this point.
Lady-Elizriel Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
It's hard to be an artist at all these days because the competitive and the dream that comes with it. I think its a curse that we all have that feel like we are never good enough as someone else. The hardest lesson to learn is that it's okay to be distasteful about our own art because that hate and dislike makes us achieve it even better and better. No true artist ever settles with their work, and they day they do they have grown too much pride to care. You are one of the ones who inspired me to keep getting better with my own stuff, to keep adding detail and designs to clothing that I never thought imagined. You have done more good than you know, and no matter what I will always be thankful to you for this.

The bottom line is that no matter what we do, what we draw, what we paint we will always dislike our work - but that's the beauty of it, because other people do, they love it, and find meaning. What counts is that your emotions and feelings went into every stroke and idea that went upon that paper or digital canvas. It's the matter of finding out what to do with it, and some have started a patreon, made cards, made posters, a ko-fi, and eventually start seeing where their path will lead.

Your work is amazing an inspiring, and even if you feel down I want you to remember that you helped and inspired me. I may be one person, but I bet there is someone out there too that can say the same. :heart:
HotaruThodt Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2018   Digital Artist
Disliking my own art is one of the reasons why I don't make much art these days and I feel like there are so many artists out there who are far far better than myself, and then I see much younger artists who are many levels ahead of me makes me feel as if I'm stagnating.

Despite this I try to keep this mindset:I won't get any better if I just stop and loath my work. With that in mind I took up painting custom dolls. I keep my skills up and it takes me out of my comfort zone. Maybe you could try a different hobby for awhile and see how you feel. It doesn't have to be painting custom dolls. It could be a different medium, like clay sculpture or making things from found objects. maybe sewing. Just keep being creative. : )
SLthethird Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
I can't draw, but I do write, and I can assure you that this is not an unusual feeling. Feeling like your work could never possibly match up to that of others is common. Personally, I don't think any good artist, of any kind, should finish a work and be completely satisfied with it. There will always be things they wished they could have done better, things to remove or things to add. That's normal! Only the most arrogant of people will not feel that way when they work on art.

That's a hard feeling to overcome, and like I said, I don't think it really should be. The best way to handle it, though, is to try and change your mindset. It's not about "Why is this piece of artwork I just finished so shitty?", it's, "What can I do to make my next piece better?" It ultimately means the same thing - that you're looking over your work to find ways to improve - but the reasoning behind it is very different.

Now, I don't know the details of your life as you bring it up in the final paragraph. I don't know if the following is really an option for you. But, my suggestion is to take it slow. You don't have to go from where you are now to where you want to be in an instant. Work on it one detail, one piece at a time, and you'll make it eventually.

Also, trying to do a piece or two in the style of someone else is not copying. That's called an homage and provided you say whose work you're working in the style of, anyone who thinks that's not okay can be safely ignored.
EnchantedWhispersArt Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
OMG I relate to this so much, every single day I go "how the heck do people come up with all these details or clever ideas for their art". It never seems to just come to me like it does so easily for others. That being said I do love your artwork.
Lillendandie Featured By Owner Edited Jul 15, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
I had the same problem about a year ago and I'm still working through it. I started using Pinterest and saving art I really loved and tried to see the common threads. I noticed a few things were missing from my art so I made a few goals to get me there.

Basically, I think style comes in 2 part. 1 what your art naturally looks like. 2. your inner personal tastes. If you gather a bunch of different influences that seem close to your tastes, you can then mix them up and steer your art in the direction you would like.

I think it's okay to experiment. I do it all the time in my sketchbook. If you don't feel comfortable trying new techniques, remember you don't have to show anyone. As long as you don't copy one person (or try to be another artist) I think it's okay.
RoguishBard Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
With all due respect, (and I'm no psychologist), this sounds like a textbook case of Impostor Syndrome.…

Whether that's the case or not, there's some helpful advice under the "Management" section of the article you might want to try.

You're the best person for the job of being you. You're right, your art isn't like that of other artists, and that's what makes it so wonderful. As was said of Van Gogh, you found a way to take your pain and translate it into something beautiful. You feel undeserving, but you do deserve the praise you receive. You are worth it. You do have talent. (And believe me, I've seen a lot over the years). I know people who would go to any lengths to possess your skill and vision.

It's going to take time, but learn to have faith in yourself.
Sfinga Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2018
Well if it helps, I think wanting to be someone else is a normal phase we all go trough sometimes. It is normal, and it will pass after a while. Also I know what's it like to not like anything you do, I don't think I can honestly say I ever liked anything I've ever done which is a main reason I haven't posted anything here for years and years. 

While I was still learning the basics of drawing, I did copy other people's work for practice, I never published any of it since I don't consider it my art really, I just found it easier to learn to draw by watching other 2D images instead of something in real life. But since you already know all you need, I think copying art you like might be a good practice just to get away from your own art for a while, just try to do a few pieces in other styles etc and then after a while I think you'll find your own style a bit more fresh and you might even change or 'upgrade' it a bit after that. It may help a bit with the frustration. 

Now as I said, I always hate my art, but I have moments when I feel like drawing but have no idea what to draw. Then I usually bug friends to give me inspiration. But not just like 'draw this and that' I ask for more of a association so to say, something I can interpret in my own way through art and I just let the details come from that, there aren't always tons of them and not always intricate but it gets there sometime without even thinking about it much.. Not sure if I'm making sense now I suck at articulating as well xD

Also don't feel bad about now answering comments. I think everyone here understands that no one can possibly answer all of them anyway. You make lovely art. We all love it. And I know you sure as hell can write as well :D so do't let anything else get you down. You're not a failure, it's ok not to have all answers to everything even in your 30s. You'll get 'round to it all eventually, and in the meantime, as long as you're doing ok with all of life necessities, just do what makes you happy and what you love. Good things can happen spontaneously without a proper plan :D 

If you need to talk to someone who's also not at all where they hoped either feel free to write me a note on  just about anything at all. I know social anxiety sucks, and I have some friends who suffer from it as well, but hey, this is the interwebz and everyone here is someone else xD
Hope all this made at least some sense as a response to your journal :D 
AllEagerThumbs Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2018  Hobbyist
Forget about the details for the minute. Draw somebody you know. Tell them you are doing it. You will want to do it so well you will get 100% invested in the process again and forget all the extraenous bull. By drawing for one specific person you end up drawing for yourself and get confidence in your own artistic voice again, hopefully. 
Best wishes from a usually quite watcher 
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