Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login


"Temptation"
by emi-chan


What whispering is this I hear?
A ghastly voice that reappears
Each time I sit me down to peer
Out my window of the world...

It's not illusion, farce, or play.
It's clear, pristine, or so I say.
Why would you take me as I am?
Credibility is relative...

Let's just say what I tell you is true.
What does the voice want me to do?
"Open the window and breath in the dew."
But doing so would break the rules...

Should I do as I'm told by the sound?
Isn't there more for the voice to expound?
Sorry, I'll stay here, try to pull round.
There's no use for spoilt reputations.
I don't usuallly rhyme. Here, I put extra effort into rhyming... even though my rhyme scheme is awkward. I don't think this is the greatest thing I've written, but your thoughts are well appreciated ^_^ I hope it makes sense, too. (My poetry usually goes *whoosh* over peoples' heads. O_o)
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsinclair:
sinclair Featured By Owner May 13, 2003
oh, such a cute kitten
Reply
:iconellstar:
ellstar Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2002
mm..i like the theme of 'temptation'

i do believe you mean breathE not breath :) (Smile)
Reply
:icondoomit:
doomit Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2002  Hobbyist Writer
I really like it

It's very cool and flows like a dream very nice.

Expound?

-doomit
Reply
:iconnathan-zachary:
nathan-zachary Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2002
INCREDIBLE! Thank you for that. I love poetry that I have to read more than once. It used beautiful imagery and I'm glad that you went with a rhyme scheme. Very nice. I hope you'll check out some of mine ;) (Wink) Wonderful work though. Thank you for putting this piece up. Oh yeah, also, nice icon for your poetry ;) (Wink)

~NZg
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconemi-chan: More from emi-chan


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
November 12, 2002
File Size
0 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
224
Favourites
0
Comments
4
×