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Illustration for an article by Santos Mcallef for 'Paranoia' magazine. Here are the full story:


It's difficult to accurately explain the whole journey i've gone on, to join all these dots and gather information from the four corners of the internet in regards to what i'm about to unfold to you. I am a researcher by profession, i've worked for quite a long time for reputable sites like the Dunwich press, the Fortean Times and more recently for a law firm, so I do have access to many rare periodicals and private journals that your common hacker can't gain access to. What I will say is that, in my many years on the internet i've tracked some pretty weird stories, and seen some messed up things, CP and snuff films being further down the scale of what's normal than you'd probably imagine, but in any case, this is.. Well this is probably the most messed up shit i've encountered. 

I had to skype call a lady who was balling her eyes out on Thursday, because she claims that as part of this 'game' she had received an actual human tongue in a wooden box by post.

When fascism rose in Europe in the 30's, at some point, what had previously seemed like a divinely inspired rise from economic depression, overnight revealed itself to be a looming nightmare that would end with an incalculable toll of death and mayhem. I wonder if we're not at a similar turning point in our history?  But who would have fucking thought that the internet was the precipice. That the horrors of the new world tragedy would come in the fucking form of... Kill all artists. Seriously. It's like the Ed gein serial killer hysteria of last century but the internet has a way of being more chaotic and confusing. Who can say for sure where the truth ends and the fiction begins.

It had to happen though didn't it? Culture in the new millennium has been perched on a precipice for so long, all of us wondering when the first domino will fall…The first domino in a chain of events which will lead to… To what? World War three? Nuclear destruction? The collapse of the American Empire? A zombie virus? More mass hysteria? Nobody knows. And that's the terrifying vacuum from which community based memes like the slenderman have emerged. That lurking terror. Jesus, I thought it was just an allegory for cultural fears. That's the Freudian take on shit like this. Fucking idiots of last century should have known, mankind's primal artistic urges are tied with a faustian contract, a commitment to the religious, the numinous, the transcendent - its not escapism for middle class capitalists and students to fritter away the hours. We were fools to think we could manifest our deepest nightmares and one day they wouldn't come and bite us on the fucking ass.

I saw this meme on facebook the other day, typical drug culture sentiment, it said this generation had an unusual part to play in the history of humanity. 'It's too late to explore the world, its all been done', it said, 'Too early to explore the universe, thats for future generations.' But be happy because 'now is the time to explore reality'…  Explore reality... well fuck… This could be a bad trip we're heading into.

Psychadelics - drugs - -  I've seen those fucking ice junkies eat peoples faces! So much for the euphoria of the 60's. The matrix. Alternate dimensions. Experiments to create black holes in laboratories. Have you ever wondered what would happen if we actually opened up a portal into other dimensions one day?

What would happen?

In June 2009, whilst the seed of slender man was impregnating the something awful forums, in another womb of evil - Stoke Newington, London, Jo Laymore received a strange phone call. She had responded a week earlier to an ad posted on the internet which had seemed comical and mysterious enough to intrigue her. 'idle hands wanted' it had advertised. Details extremely limited.
What followed was a terrifying series of events which would change her life. She was called out to a strange address where she was attacked at knife point and locked in a room, only found four days later by a fortunate police patrolman. She identified her attacker as a masked man wearing a black trilby hat. Tall and with an ugly way of walking around. Kind of like something which either shouldn't be alive, or isn't quite alive.

She was by no means the only person who experienced such strange phenomenon. This stuff has allegedly been going on for for a decade or more. I've read about 350 different cases from private police incident reports. But even the pleb media like facebook and the chans are rife with this stuff:

It seems that someone by the name of Frank Webster has been playing a rather dark prank on the city of London. A prank that involved acts such as locking people in a dark room, satellite tracking to the locations of dead animals, plans to create bombs given to applicants. Torture machines. Real jigsaw shit. Maybe it was just some fuck who had seen one too many 'saw' movies and lost the plot.
Like that Batman shooter, James Holmes? Thought he was the joker. But who is this person/or persons? A british psychologist? A member of the illuminati? Or just a bored prankster with too much time on their hands? The speculation never ends:

In any case no one has thus far been able to prove conclusively one way or the other wether 'Frank' exists, what his purpose is, and how many people are involved in the global pranks. The police won't touch it because they think its  some hoax perpetrated by a group of British artists, and fake claimants have thrown people off the scent to the point where the communal 'hoax' or storytelling nature of the thing has overshadowed the genuine incidents. What's puzzling is where the dots join one meme to another and suddenly this masked sociopath is connected with the fictional character known by film makers and fans as 'the slender man'...

Well according to a steadily growing group of people who  claim to have spoken to 'Frank' on the 21st of December 2012, he is anything including a visitor from another dimension to an incarnate of the devil himself. Many claim he is an authority figure who worked for the SCP foundation - their job? - 'to secure and contain abnormal phenomenon and protect the public from such knowledge' (I know. It sounds like something out of ghostbusters right? But check it out this actually exists)

According to those who have spoken to Frank, subject SCP-001 otherwise known as slender man escaped into this reality in 2009 and secret organisations have been tracking him ever since until the public threat is captured and contained once more.  But what does this Webster guy have to do with this. Well, that is pretty hard to decipher, if anything at all. Between the fiction created by artists and the hardcore conspiracy theories created by eccentrics theres no way to make heads or tails of it. Youtube user 'expose monarch' recently unveiled a long piece on collected theories about this 'masked spider' and his involvement in all of this:

Is it all just mass hysteria?? Well in any case, we should be prepared for the new virus. Truth and fact are something that are hard to get around these days, and when deception and fiction merge with conspiracy, strange conglomerate webs of hysteria are created comparable to a kind of mass insanity. Heed the warning and discontinue from spreading the virus. Like Sherlock Holmes said, once you eliminate the impossible, whatever is left, however implausible, must be true. Maybe we can one day dream of an internet clean of confusion and paranoia, an internet built on the noble ideas those ingenuous creators had in mind when they invented it.

Together perhaps humanity can stop the contagion, like the allied forces put down the fascist movements in World War Two. Eternal vigilance will be required, and of course an allied belief in the goodness of human will. Peace upon you all.

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing"   - Edmund Burke

Help contain the virus. Join SCP today.
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ScoxyThepiratescout's avatar
This is how the movie should of looked