Elitegengar

Hello there. Yes, you. If you’re reading this, it’s because of one of two reasons; either a Falafel-eating Gargoyle from my home planet of Ytmosinufabzeque (pronounced ‘pargle’ in Earth-speak) is up to one of its infantile antics again, or I am so utterly bored with my life that I have time to write one of these pointless little things about myself. Thinking about it, the first is more probable.  

What to say first – ah, yes, my name. As you can see, my username is Elitegengar. This is actually a clever anagram of my real name; Tgeir Ganeel. Although it has a reputation back on my planet of being exceptionally difficult for the human tongue to pronounce correctly, my time here has led me to notice that Bangladeshis seem to have a particular knack for saying it accurately.

For my favourite food I shall merely list those that take residence on Earth, as Ytmosinufabzequian food is far too complex for the average Homosapien brain, and explaining would be futile:

- Tulips, for their fascinatingly bitter taste
- Gastropods; tastes like chicken
- Mongolian Death Worm, although a tricky customer when hunting for one personally
- Sand (greatly helps digestion when eating foreign foods)

My avatar is a character from the game and TV series 'Pokemon', I believe. I chose it for the appearance of the creature is relatively accurate to my own anatomy. I should point out some key differences.

- My skin is not purple, but in fact of an extremely high wavelength inaccessible to the Human eye. This renders me invisible for most part; the exception of course being my bright orange genitalia
- Where the picture shows the creatures ears, is actually where my fingernails protrude. Contrary to humans’ definition, the nails do not necessarily have to be on the fingers themselves

Well, that’s about it. I’ll continue what I was doing beforehand, which is reading a new novel I bought from a shop whilst eating a Duck Fetus egg. The novel is a collection of short stories, I believe- it’s called ‘the Bible’. Here’s hoping for a sequel. Great read.

Anyway, got to go. Unless of course, this really was written by a Falafel-eating Gargoyle, in which case I was never here in the first place. So, erm, peace out. Word to your mother. Whatever you humans say these days.