elided

the street lights jutted out from the ground as natural as trees you knew the way to touch me and everything didn't become just another false awakening another lie another memory another dead leaf receding from the edge of the road it couldn't be more solid but i guess it fades like a song you eventually stop playing because the voices remind you too much of someone else

are there more people in this city, or am i just noticing more? i can't tell if things are growing or if i'm just filling up space. like when you can't say things straight because everything is backwards. like confusing right and left, misinterpreting body language, putting pieces of words in the wrong place. i'm sick of never feeling okay with anyone. just closing your eyes to wait for the next come up. we're all dealing with it. most just don't notice.

sometimes i have to remember to breathe.