elevengallows

I'd like to thank everyone who has been watching my journal, faving, and providing valuable feedback on my pieces.The 10 or so minutes I have in which to check my emails and dA each day do not exactly lend themselves to a lot of personal replies, but I just want to let you all know your input is much appreciated.I look forward to the days when I  will be no longer at the mercy of the academic beast, and can be a better friend to you.I'm on the home stretch of my MFA and it's all very exciting. I'm in a bit of a creative storm at the moment, so you have some major pieces to look forward to.I'd like to share that http://elevengallows.deviant...

I just want to apologise to everyone for my behaviour lately.I've no idea what's happened to me.I think I've discovered a new facet of myself that I'm not entirely sure how to handle, and it makes me irrational and causes me to put my foot in it no matter how innocent my intentions.This morning I woke up with an overwhelming sense of dread, like I know I should be bracing for something big that's coming, but I have no idea of what it is or where it's coming from, so I can't.I walk around hoping people talk about me behind my back if only because it means they notice I exist.I walk around praying to the universe that the things that come ou...

... especially myself.The most beautiful Nepalese boy started chatting me up in the City this morning, and I'm not sure if it was the fact that I was VERY overstimulated, nervous, busy, heading in the opposite direction, or just one hell of a fucking ingrate, that he asked me out for coffee, and I TURNED HIM DOWN.It's so weird because I'd been asking the universe for a boy all week (not a boy for sex, just someone I could be smitten over), and when I finally got it, I completely freaked out.The most shameful part about the whole thing is that running beneath all those other more practical reasons for turning him down was the undercurrent...