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Edowaado's avatar

Doctor Whooves - The Games Pt 4

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© 2012 - 2021 Edowaado
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ArbitraryRenaissance's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Impact

This specific comment was absolutely brilliant. Your use of facial expressions are absolutely hysterical, I'm really seeing exciting plot development, and you're using humor in just the right moments.

However, in the big picture of the story, there was one thing I would like to advise.

Try to maintain the characteristics of the tenth doctor. I've noticed every now and then he shifts from being very serious to being silly in a rather spontaneous manner. Don't do this; that's what the eleventh doctor does (and to be honest, I really don't like that about him). You're still doing well with this area; just something to remember.
Edowaado's avatar
Thanks a bunch. I'm not really trying to make him the tenth doctor. The fanbase sees him as the 12th doctor, but for me whooves is whooves. Doesn't mean the tenth hasn't had his silly moments.
ArbitraryRenaissance's avatar
OH, I didn't know that. Sorry, that's always how I pictured it, given that he's had that personality up to this point, whether intentional or not. Another way to word it I guess it to try and maintain the Doctor's personality.

True, though, that the tenth doctor had his silly moments, he knew when to be silly. I don't mean to bash the eleventh doctor for doing this, but unlike him, all of the other doctors knew the right moments to serious up. Feel free to add jokes and funny statements every now and then, but try and refrain from ruining dramatic moments by adding sudden comic relief.
Edowaado's avatar
Ah do you mean his overly cheerful way of being doing these games? The reason for that is because of Lyra. He knows that Bon Bon's loss hurt her way more than the Doctor himself. So he tries to look all confident infront of her so she doesn't totally looses it. At least that's what I had in mind while making these.
ArbitraryRenaissance's avatar
I don't have a problem at all with the doctor acting confident in front of Lyra. Based on your description, there you have a good reason behind that. But this is more intricate; the common person wouldn't realize this. As good as a literary technique as this is, make sure you don't use this as a priority emotion unless if the reason for it becomes more obvious. People will be confused when a character acts a certain way for a reason they can't find. You don't need to try and force explanation on this in the story, but if another more obvious motive behind the Doctor acting a certain way takes place (for example, making sure he doesn't lose another loved one/trying to start over. However, these seem to tie into the reason you just explained), make sure they come first because they make more sense to the reader. Like I said, you're doing a good job at this, it's just something to bear in mind (even though this is a completely different subject).

TL;DR: No. That's not what I was referring to.
Americaiuno's avatar
Who knew the Cybermen or Cyberponies had a sense of humor!
TheStorian's avatar
Dang.Now that's what I call luck.
GolliatTaillog's avatar
This was your Gold Age Edowaado.

I really wish you to use your humor like this again.

The demon overlord comic was perfect for that.
It was your creation.
Had the exact type of personality you are so good at exploiting.
And it made me laugh, a lot.

Come back.
AngelflyXD's avatar
Johny you just outdone yourself WHAT? 
3jaustin's avatar
Lucky guess, Jonny Bravo.
eh how did he do that 
Gen-SilverChicken's avatar

Johnny Bravo Emote 1 
Chrismilesprower's avatar
Sounds like 50 Shades of Grey. XD I'm kidding I don't know what it's about.
VinnyMartello's avatar
YES YES YES YES YES!!! I absolutely love the Johnny Bravo character!!! I'm sitting here with my face planted thoroughly in my palms. You captured his character beautifully! Your creativity puts a big gaping smile on my face!
Edowaado's avatar
Glad you're enjoying the read ^^
Maldrete's avatar
I am going to die from laughter from this Johnny Pony.

You've gotten me to laugh so hard, I'm likely turning different colors.
RoseMaylieGottschalk's avatar
samsaragreen's avatar
wow nice summery jonny
1cosmiconsciousness's avatar
That was 15 words. Show off
DrX-Raven's avatar
Raven: Nineteen words or less. He did it in less.
SweetlilAngelica's avatar
lol just lol. Johnny......pfft Why!!
Rainbowstarspower's avatar
god johnny is so dumb his dumbness is helping him survive
princessjulliet123's avatar
that just proved the thoery that johnny cant read... LOL
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