Entry #40 Thursday, 11/15/38 4:51am
I can’t sleep. I am so so tired, but I just can’t sleep. And I feel like I can’t stop writing. Like, does writing in this thing help me or not? What if it makes me feel worse? What if in some alternate universe I never started a journal? Would I even be ok? Or would I be better off?
But writing in a journal is actually like talking to someone for two reasons. First, it feels really good to let out your feelings at first. And secondly, you feel like complete crap when you think back on how much of your thoughts you revealed. Or maybe I’m the only one who has that feeling because… social anxiety.
I constantly think back on when I woke up Shadow and told him so much that was going on in my head. It’s one of those memories that your brain reminds you of when it’s telling you that you are a piece of trash. I get it, brain. I get that that should have never happened, but I