Every Badfic You Will Ever Read

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Literature Text

Ones there was a gui name Joe Freechman. 1 day he was sittin at his desk typin on a computer when he got a cal from the polees.
"Joe Freechman com quick!" sed the pleesman, "earth is attack by evil aleens!!1"
So joe freechman wet in his van and wet to new york sity, witch was capital of the world. Joe Freechman loked around new york and saw lots of aleens killin all the people and joe freechman said " alans leave world alone!" and aleens said "NO WE WILL KILL U" and ran at joe freechman. Joe Freechman fulled an ak47 out and started shoting at all the aliins woth fury. teh aleens started dyeing an blowin up and soon joe freechman killed all teh aleens in new york city.
Then ironman and master chef cameout of the sky and said to joe freechman "joe freechman there are cerberuses in washingtonn and they are trying to kill president llama!" so they went to washington.
Meanwhile in the big alin rocket ship, all the cerberuses were plannen to kill presisdent olama and make alins present of the world.
"HAHA" sed hitler who was boss of all the evil cerberuses, "WE WILL DIE THE PRESIENT N I WILL BE IN CHARGE OF WORLD!"
Then the cerberus genral said " i will attack whit house" and hitlra said ok.
Joe freechman and master chef and ironman and all the army went to washington and start killin all teh bad guis. Juts then an evil cerberuse with a rocket gun shot a racket a master chef and blowed his hedd off. "oh no" said ironman and then he killed the cerberus withe the rockets.
Then teh cerberuses ran into dc and started killin all teh mareens. Joe freechman and ironman tred to figt the cerberuses but there were to many and 1 of them grabed obama! Ironman ran after abama but an cerberuz punched him in face and he was knoked out.
Noooooooooô said joe and he shot at the cerberuses but he hitter the vice president instead. Then joe freechman was tired so he fell aslplee.
All teh cerberuses and aleens bringed obema to hitler and hitler say "hello osama we lime to my evil lar!"
"u wil nevar victory!" shotted obama.
"shut up" said hitler and he punche oprah in the face.
soddemly the door to hitlers room explod!
It was joe freechman n ironmen and nobel six n sharp n natan drake and ezio auditw and capton prace n all the army and mareens and also there was samus n garden freeman.
"every1 attack!" shout joe freechman.
And then all the army cam in and started to beat up all the bad guz.
Joe freechman ran over to hitler and pinched in the face but then hitler grabed him and started to go all muscly and strong and big and yellow hair sad "no joe freechman you will be kill my demons."
Hitler had becom a super saying.
Hitler tried to shoot cumihamiha at joe freechman but joe freechman ducked and the cumi hit goring in the face and blowed him up.
then joe freechman sed "have u fought about deth hitler?" and hitlar said "not lately" and joe freechman sed I thought youd say that.
Then joe freechman grabbed hitlers sack and squeesed very hard.
Hitler screamed in pin as joe freechman lifted him upand thrower him out the window of the spess ship. Then hitler died and everyone was happy.
"yaaaaaay" they sed.
"thank u for Savin me" said obame, "let's go get a burger LOL"
Later everyone went and had a burger and sharp and sames gluwed master chefs head bac on so he was live. Joe freechman was happy for rst tim that day but the happy endid quickly when ther was a bang and master chefs head was shot off agin. The shoter waked in teh door, holdin a tommy gun.

It was.....................................................DUMBLEDORE!
I was very, very bored.

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