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I often wonder how much Velvet and Nightlight actually interacted with Spike as he grew. Celestia's school seems to act as a boring school so it makes you wonder how often they visited Twilight and Spike.
I would think they would visit their daughter about once a month or something. It's kind of like a boarding school but in the same town so it wouldn't have been hard at all for them to visit their daughter.
Yeah, she's a married mare. This is still fairly early in Spike's relationship with Twilight so he still has a very formal relationship with Velvet. I also imagine Velvet as somewhat old fashioned so she would insist on that formality.