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A Moment In Time Page 8

206 128 13K (5 Today)
By dSana   |   
Published: October 28, 2017

Page 1

Bonus Page >>

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Thanks for reading! It was very fun story to work on  ^_^ I'm thinking about making 1-2 bonus pages
that would pick up in Canterlot after Page 5.


Also! Please consider supporting my work:
Gumroad | Ko-fe | Tip Jar or ask for commission!

Cheers,
Key /)


PS: Changed Spike's drawing, to make it look like much younger kid drew it.

As requested bigger & enchanted photo from Panel 6 :-)
Hatchling Spike Photo by dSana


--

Inkscape+Photoshop

My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic © Hasbro

Image size
1275x1650px 1.86 MB
Comments128
anonymous's avatar
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sebastianaustin3's avatar
sebastianaustin3New Deviant

The ending is so amazing.

I love it!!!!

Keep up the amazing work dSana!!!!!

Marks-Of-Babylon's avatar
Forest: Spike's first drawing... Of Twilight with wings... before she had them...
goldorakx69's avatar
the time travel she done is be part of her story and she belive is a change of time but No! Baby Spike Know Twilight will be a alicorn! Well baby see thing we adult will not get it!
Marks-Of-Babylon's avatar
Forest: Oh... Thanks for clearing that up.
Rainbow-Flutter-Dash's avatar
Rainbow-Flutter-DashHobbyist Writer
Gosh this comic is just too sweet. Made me cry a bit. Emotipony Pathetic 
dSana's avatar
dSanaHobbyist Digital Artist
Aw, thank you ^^
Rainbow-Flutter-Dash's avatar
Rainbow-Flutter-DashHobbyist Writer
Thank YOU. 
dSana's avatar
dSanaHobbyist Digital Artist
Blush 
ShadowXper's avatar
Wow I just now realized the meaning of the last picture the drawing of twilight with wings
dSana's avatar
dSanaHobbyist Digital Artist
Hehe ^^
goldorakx69's avatar
Awwww! i love your story! me too i see twilight as spike mom! not celestia! why? the first pony spike see is twilight! not celestia!
dSana's avatar
dSanaHobbyist Digital Artist
Cheers :)
marinus18's avatar
I'm happy you didn't make it too soft and that you didn't just give Spike what he wanted.
dSana's avatar
dSanaHobbyist Digital Artist
She knows what's best for him, after all.
marinus18's avatar
I'm glad you still have that mentality. This though feels like the most maternal moment you have had.
ThomasZoey3000's avatar
ThomasZoey3000Hobbyist General Artist
This was a super cute comic, it was lovely.
dSana's avatar
dSanaHobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for reading! ^^
Wait0wat's avatar

OK, before I start critiquing, I’m going to say this “Sir, I don’t believe you understand that I almost cried after reading this.”


Now let’s critique this: *Cracks open a can* Okay, So....


Plot: The plot starts off with Sunburst, Starlight, Spike, and Twilight in the castle practicing a spell to send to send Twilight back in time to meet her idol: Starswirl the Bearded. Surprisingly it works, but the victory is short-lived as the spell did not send her to Starswirl, but rather a short while after the Sonic Rainboom incident. She then meets a younger Spike and is quickly faded back to present day as quickly as she was....teleported...?...to the past. This idea seems possible because I wouldn’t put it past me if Starlight and Sunburst actually started doing this: experimenting with magic and what-not. But I do get this nagging hinting sensation that starlight wouldn’t meddle With spells that had to deal with time travel, especially with how remorseful she was in the event of the Season 5 finale. But I’d roll with it.


Summery: this comic has a few things going for it: the drawing was good, the plot was simple, but the one thing that stood out, far more than anything I have written here, was that it had heart. What I mean is that There are other fan made comics who deal with genre like this and they fall into two categories: they become so heartwarming that it makes the reader start to tear-up/cry, or they become so cheesy that even twilight would look at it and tremble with fear. Luckily, this falls in the formal, rather than the latter. I think it was pages between 6-8, basically the last segment, that I was begging to fell these emotions; it was that heartwarming and that’s not an easy feat with me. And that panel in page 8 where spike says “mom” and Twilight has that “moment of realization,” that dam behind you eyes was hanging by a thread; it was was just that beautiful and was handled very well.


The reason I’d didn’t put up other segments up here like “character” and “setting” is because the screen time for them was so short that they didn’t really evolve higher from the original baseline from the show. Even then, I still had a great time reading this. I would rate it “Great time, Great read.”

dSana's avatar
dSanaHobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for this critique! I'm very glad to hear you enjoyed this short story of mine! :) It's a little bit short but it's good to know it still works. 
LeoHightower's avatar
LeoHightowerHobbyist General Artist
WOw, that was SOOOO good! :happycry: revamp 
dSana's avatar
dSanaHobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for reading :]
anonymous's avatar
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