Crumble into Chaos

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Follows after:   and 

     Jarin had bumbled through most of camp, as Jarin does with anything in life. At first, he felt like he had a magnifying lens over him like everyone knew the baggage he carried and not just what was in his breeches. But the more he got to know the others around him, the more he came to realize that they didn’t know about him. They didn’t know about the life choices he had made weighing on his mind. As far as they knew, he was just Jarin Jackson with his chubby grey horse, Abe.
    Even Nikolas didn’t really know who Jarin was. Not any more than Jarin was a friend of Lukas just as Jarin only knew Nikolas was a brother to Lukas. It made Jarin start to wonder just how many of these faces walking around him were carrying similar stories or maybe even worse. And that thought just made him want to walk around and give out hugs to anyone that didn’t pepper spray him. Maybe everyone had a sad story, a scary story, a horrible story all to themselves.
    He had stopped by to help Nikolas with grooming Fame as he had before but the conversation turned into what Jarin was nervous to hear about. After mentioning Lukas, Nikolas asked, “Speaking of, you were friends with Lukas too. You thought he was mad at you also, how's that going for you?”
    "W-Well, I-" Jarin backpedalled in a frenzy, his smile wavering into nervous, "I thought wrong, probably! I shouldn't have assumed he was mad at me! If he's just working somewhere else and doesn't want to get distracted by, you know...texts...calls...emails...instant message..." Everything that Jarin had tried to get a hold of him with and now just sounded increasingly desperate. He now knew he was at least alive and that was good enough. "So, it's uhm, going...uh, I dunno!" He shuffled his hands behind his back, rocking on his heels.
    “Riiight” Nikolas raised an eyebrow, “Well, I don’t think he’d just abandon a friend like you. I mean I don’t know how close you two were but you’ve already been a good one to me, and I've only known you a little while now.” Nikolas glanced over at Fame, “ I feel comfortable enough to let you know our father is far from a saint. Had Lukas gone back to his stable, it probably wasn’t willingly. He must have threatened something or manipulated him. He may not even have a phone anymore.” Nikolas shook his head “Here's my number. If I get any updates on him I’ll text you first thing, alright?”
    Jarin keyed the number into his phone so hard, he almost stabbed his fingers through the phone's screen. There were very few numbers on that phone after having it completely replaced. But it was worth having this number in there if it meant he could be one step closer to finding out what happened to his friend. Poor Lukas. Jarin looked worried, as he did for so many people, especially those that may be in trouble. "Is he going to be okay?"
    Nikolas paused, in all honesty he’d already determined or rather assumed Lukas was already in some kind of trouble by now. It has been months and their father was quite hot headed - already disliking Lukas also didn’t help.
    “I don’t know.”

    Jarin had been looking forward to this part of camp for weeks! Although, he did make sure to pick the course that only had a super tiny jump because he had learned the very hard way that Abe was no jumper. The memory of blasting a capriole over a jump and Abe darting away in terror was still very fresh in Jarin’s mind. He learned that day that maybe sometimes, horses couldn’t do everything just because Jarin wanted to.
    But the rest of the obstacles looked like a giant playpen! He would make his instructors proud at how focused he could be: Tristan and Dave both! At one time, Sydney but he couldn’t count Sydney anymore. Not after everything they had been through. Jarin sighed, drumming his fingers on his saddle. There he was again. Thinking about Sydney. Hadn’t he already decided he wasn’t going to anymore? Then why?
    He poked his forehead, urging himself to think of anything else. Tristan? Noooo, that made him feel all tingly and woozy at the same time. Lukas? Noooo, there wasn’t anything he could do just yet. There wasn’t any way to contact him. Nikolas would surely let him know if anything came through.
    FOCUS.
    RIGHT. Jarin had just snapped out of his spaghetti thoughts as he was walking Abe into the arena. It was play time! Or...focus time!
    And that lasted exactly one obstacle before Jarin went and pulled a Jarin. The best intentions in the world. Tried to do everything just right and how they had practiced during camp. But as soon as the leash was off, Jarin crumbled right back into his chaotic self. There were certainly flashes of the course where he and Abe looked like a pair that knew what they were doing!
    And there were times where Jarin performed the Garrocha maneuver and forgot to put the pole back as they approached the bridge to cross. It was only until Jarin was about to get on it when he realized they wouldn’t fit! Jarin squealed and laughed, hoisting the pole into the air just in case so they didn’t crash into the bridge. At the same time, he gave it his all to try and halt Abe but without the reins in his hands, he sat back on his butt like a reiner would and hoped for the best!
    Abe didn’t know what the hell Jarin was doing! It was one of those moments where the boy just squirreled about on his back and the stud just had to guess what he was supposed to do about it. It felt like the human was about to roll off the back of the saddle while waving the big stick around. Did this mean...do a boing? Do a boing kick? Do a squat stand? Do a stand boing? The stud did an awkward halt, bouncing on his front end, trying to gauge if he should launch into the air or onto the bridge or over it?
    The heel in his side next made him go into a very collected pirouette-type maneuver with the large pole spinning over his head like a chubby helicopter getting ready to take off. Jarin laughed and laughed until he was about to get slung out of the saddle. He sat forward again to get Abe to come out of his spin that would embarrass any reining competitor.
    So the focus wasn’t there - ever. But the flash and flair was spectacular. AND no one died so that was the truest victory of the day.


(1153 word count)

Other perspective from Nikolas: 

Previous: Strange Mans/New Friends || Next: Distracted As Ever

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Last squirt of panic art due to deadlines :'') Maybe I can take my time and make nice art again? 

Naked sketch: 

Inspiration to do tradi background: -15000

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Jarin/Abe/Tristan/Sydney/Dave/Art © Drasayer
Fame/Lukas/Nikolas/RP words © Acetoma 
Tristan © Saoradh 
No specific refs used for booty babes
Used map of showgrounds/decoration inspiration provided by host~
Pattern for pants: www.freepik.com/free-vector/bi…


Pencil/Photoshop CS6