The title of this journal entry.....it's a really good question, to be honest. At first glance, the question would seem to answer itself. A brief examination of my gallery will reveal that I've dabbled in everything from fractal art to spriting, drawing to poetry, and possibly more that is slipping my mind. So you sit there (or maybe stand, or even lay, there, I don't judge XD ) and level your deadpan gaze at me and give me ye olde "Well, duh!"
The thing is, anyone that has been watching me for a while has also probably noticed that my uploads are few and far between. Heck, my most recent upload was from just over three months ago! Sure, I produce content, but so much of it rarely sees the light of day, so to speak. So then the question arises as to whether or not that content then matters. To me, it does, obviously. Still, can I truly claim to be any sort of artist if I only rarely share my thoughts, my works, with others? It's something to ponder.
Some would argue that yes, I am still an artist, while others would respond with uncertainty. In a way, I suppose that I still am, but irregardless, I have no doubt that as you read this, almost everyone, including myself, questions why. Why do I so infrequently share what I create? I've pondered this a lot.
Part of it is that I don't create as frequently as some, as art isn't always a focus for me, true, and inspiration often feels sparse...I'm kind-of bad at being inspired. Or at least being inspired enough to power past the dozens of other things pulling at my attention, or past my own self-discouragement. That's something that I need to work on, though, truthfully, I don't really know how to. But part of it is also admittedly a lack of confidence in my own work, and a feeling that many of the things that I produce are not up to par, or that I'm uncertain whether or not I want it to represent my capabilities to the world...
I suppose, too that this is a normal problem for many self-proclaimed artists of all sorts. I'm certainly not alone in it. Even so, despite having come a long way over the years socially-speaking, I suppose I still often find myself afraid to expose parts of myself to the scrutinizing eyes of others. Art is that, after all. Parts of the artist, in a way. Ironically, I'm sometimes as afraid of the praise that I don't know how to handle, as much as I am of the criticism, silent or otherwise, that I imagine in my mind.
Perhaps the best way to overcome the infrequency of my uploads is to make myself produce art of varying forms more often and upload all of it, no matter what, in an attempt to help myself not only produce more frequently, but with less fear as well. Still, that doesn't feel like the right approach, as I fear that I will merely share rhymes and sketches that are uninspired and forced, and I'll hate doing it. In the end, I'm still not sure how to proceed forward with this into the future, and it is still something that I need to figure out...
Why did I write this? You know....I'm not entirely certain. I felt like writing, and, in a way, it's somewhat of an indirect apology to everyone that watches my account, possibly hoping for the next soul-filled poem, or one of the several drawings that I have yet to finish or re-visit. By the same token, I suppose that I am subconsciously hunting for thoughts and suggestions.
I don't know.
Either way, perhaps I need to do this more often...it's good practice, if nothing else! XD
Oh well. In the end, it's just another mind-dump. Make of it what you will~
Thanks for reading,