I am sad.

4 min read
dragonpony's avatar
By dragonpony
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I am very sad. Sad sad sad. Depressed. My heart hurts. Only, I feel it more in my stomach than in my heart but that's not important.

A character in an anime I'm watching died. It was terrible. The show just isn't the same anymore and I can't get in on it. All the new characters suck, and they'll never replace what's been lost! I don't plan to stop watching it, but whenever I do I feel super sad and empty inside. I didn't think that character would die, or at least, if they did die it would be at the very end of the anime. But no. And I feel like that character had an interesting/sad back story that the show didn't really delve into, and they were super unique design and personality wise. They had funny little quirks and things. And the only friends they ever had were essentially the ones who killed them. And guess what? The episode after that had a bunch of review based around that character which was totally depressing. Then, the title of the episode came. Guess what it was called? "Reincarnation". Now, since the review had been based around this character and the title was "reincarnation" my hopes were very high. But as it turns out, the episode actually took place a few years in the future where everyone was totally over the character's death, and the character's "friends" were totally successful and happy, not regretting or remembering one bit. Now to be fair, one of the "friends" wanted to kill the character from the very beginning, but I was at least hoping for a tiny bit of regret for the loss of a friend or something. Like, realizing they actually kind of cared about the character. But as it turns out, they are a totally self-serving little f***. I mean, I knew that already but... I was still very upset. There was never really a time I saw any of the characters mourn for this character since the episode right after they died was when people had already moved on. That makes it seem like they didn't really care, even if that wasn't the case. Then of course, the friend's happiness is messed up a little since there's a new threat but... IT'S NOT THE SAME. I will probably watch the rest of the show, wishing for the character to somehow come back to life, and I'll be completely unattached to any of the current characters. This is what I get for getting emotionally involved in an anime where the main premise is "using a notebook to kill people." It also has the word "Death" in the title, so you REALLY know what you're getting into. I wasn't expecting to care so much either. It's not like I was in love with this character or anything, I just thought they were really funny and interesting. But now I think my feelings have grown because they died. If I ever see anything with this character on it I'd probably hold it and never let go, all while sobbing uncontrollably... on the inside. Seriously though, I don't really cry when something I'm emotionally involved with gets sad, I tear up for a few seconds, or just feel really depressed. I cried a bit when they died though. And afterwards, for some reason I felt like listening to sad music would help. And it kind of did, but it also made me cry for real. I guess the music helped turn my depression into something more bittersweet, at least for the moment and I guess that helped me feel a bit better. But now it's the next day and I still hurt. I wonder if it'll be better tomorrow? Not if I watch more of the anime tonight, I'm sure. Maybe I should just play Dangan Ronpa tonight instead... Anyways, this anime is really great...UNTIL THE CHARACTER DIES. But yeah, since it was so good, it was easy to have it steal my emotions. It's so mean... I mean, I had been in the mood for something slightly sad lately, but I didn't want heartbreaking! So yeah, that's all. (This is really long, wow) I'll just go back to listening to emo music. (Aka, slow/pretty songs that might be sad... so not really emo music, since emo is a type of rock but I think you understand what I mean)
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anonymous's avatar
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jmhguy's avatar
well, what if something like that happened in real life?
dragonpony's avatar
I'm not sure what you mean...
AnneHairball's avatar
I feel you. I hope you feel better about this.
dragonpony's avatar
Thanks, I'm feeling better now. :)