RWBY Watches Brooklyn Nine Nine EP 5 Part 1
Teams RWBY and ORNJ sit down and ready to watch the next episode of the comedy cop show
“Alright episode 5, so what is it called?” Jaune asked
“It’s called The Vulture” Blake said “So either it is going to involve an actual vulture, a criminal named the vulture or something else”
“Well, I can’t wait to see this, this show is very funny” Ruby said giggling
“Alright let’s play” Weiss said hitting the play button.
We open at the precinct, Jake going to sit at his desk talking to Amy and Rosa.
Jake: Hey, you guys see the dude I brought in today, the drug dealer? 81 years old. I think that’s the oldest collar of my career.
“Yikes that is old to be a drug dealer” Nora said surprised
“Maybe but he obviously made a full life doing the deed” Yang said nodding
Amy: I once arrested a 96-year-old for flashing. I was terrified he’d die in my backseat or flash me (this made Jake shudder at the thought)
Rosa: My oldest collar was 78, but the PCP made her fight like she was 20
“Wow, so many old criminals, makes me think if Roman lived past the battle of Beacon or if it never happened that would be him” Jaune said thinking
“We might never know” Ren said shrugging
Scully: (coming in to join the conversation) What about two 50-year-old twins? Does that count as a 100-year-old?
Amy: No good
Jake: (shaking his head) No
“Yeah, it has to be a sole person’s age” Blake said nodding
“Nice try Scully” Oscar said with a thumbs up
Charlies comes in and smiles setting his stuff on his desk
Charlies: You talking oldest bags? 68.
Amy: That’s not that old
Charlies: Yeah, but I was only 20
“Wait what?” Weiss asked surprised
“Yeah, I know we train to be Huntsman or Huntresses at 16 but that still seems young to be a cop” Ruby said
Jake: 20? Were you even a cop then?
Charlies: No, man it was before I got into the academy.
Everyone looked confused for a short while
Rosa: (smiles realizing) Charles isn’t talking about his oldest arrest
“Then what is he…. ohhhh….ewwww!” Nora lets out as she and the others realize what Charles misinterpreted the talk about.
“That is…I didn’t need to know that” Blake said shaking her head
Amy, Jake and Scully: (realizing) Ewwwww!
Charlies: (knowing his mistake) No…yes, I am. Yeah, oldest arrest, 68, like I said.
Jake: God, you had sex with a 68-year-old when you were in your 20s?
“I feel like there was something wrong with you back then Charlies…that is way to big of an age gap” Jaune said shuddering
“I need to mentally remove that thought later” Yang said shaking her head
Charlies: You know how it is. When you have a chance to bed an older woman, you…
Jake: (as the others look at Charlies with various faces) No, that is not an older woman. That’s an old woman! That’s someone’s grandma
Charles: She was, actually. That's how I met her. Went to college with her grandson Marvin. (Amy groans and Jake laughs) Don't... don't knock it till you try it. She had a replacement hip with some serious torque. It was like having s*x with a transformer.
Jake: (after he got up from his desk) No. That is no one's fantasy.
“I mean, sure doing it with a transformer is some weird people’s fantasy but yeah not everyone will admit it” Jaune said shaking his head
“This was funny but more disturbing opening” Weiss groans sipping some tea.
We come to the Morning Briefing at the 99th Precinct at 8:30 AM. We also see on the board for the bet Amy and Jake are tied with 62 each.
Terry: Peralta... Where are we on the Lincoln place murder?
Jake: Well, like I told Captain Holt earlier this week, we are at the one-yard line. It's a football reference.
Terry: Yes, Jake. I played linebacker at Syracuse.
“I am not surprised to know that about you Terry” Oscar said
“Well, he does look strong, outside the face he desked himself over his fear of dying on the job” Ren said thinking
Charlies: Really? In High School, I played centre field in the musical damn Yankees.
Jake: Yeah, you don't want to brag about that.
“I don’t know it sounds interesting” Ruby said thinking
“Yeah, but it’s not a big brag” Yang said shrugging
Holt: Peralta, you want to loop everyone in?
Holt: That was not a request.
“Come on Jake, you are a team tell them what you know” Blake said nodding
“That way they can help you” Weiss said in agreement
Jake: Fine. (He groans and goes to the front) Get ready for some stuff on a screen. Meet Fred Gorman...(shows the image of Fred on the screen) Prominent citizen, lawyer, corpse. (Shows Fred’s dead body) Now meet his wife, Ann Hoert. (shows and image of Ann) She did not take his last name, but I believe she did take his life.
“Well, that is good deduction and I assume there is evidence for that?” Jaune asked
“Yeah, otherwise you are accusing a grieving widow, I know the trope of murder a married person is to suspect the spouse but still need evidence for it to stick” Weiss said nodding
Jake: Thank you, Charles. Now, Hoert had means, motives, and opportunity. I just need to find the murder weapon. For some reason, the D.A. won't move forward with the arrest until we find the knife she used.
Holt: Is that reason that they want to win the case?
“Make sense, the murder weapon will definatly come in handy” Ruby said nodding
“But the weapon could be anywhere by now” Ren said thinking on the problem.
Holt: Well, find it. The family's close to the mayor, and I'm catching heat from the higher-ups. I'm gonna ask you again. Do you need any resources or personnel?
Jake: No, sir, I've got it.
“Jake come on, I know you like be a lone cop or dream to be but you can solve it better with others help” Jaune said groaning
“He might be afraid they’ll get in his way” Nora said thinking on it
Holt: Okay. Dismissed! Sergeant Jeffords, my office.
Gina: Uh-oh. He probably wants to talk to you about how your shirts aren't tight enough probably.
“Gina, you are flirting with a married man” Ruby said sweat dropping
“I think she doesn’t care” Oscar adds in.
We come to Jake at his desk as Amy and Rosa approach
Amy: Okay, how can we help? What do you need?
Jake: I need nothing. I'm about to solve this case, meet the mayor, and sell my life rights to Channing Tatum so he can play my less attractive brother in the ensuing film.
“Geez the ego on this guy” Blake said sighing “Jake seriously needs to tone it down soon”
“He might be good, but he needs more senses knocked into him like in the prior episode” Ren said pondering
Rosa: Come on, Peralta, Holt said to use the whole team. We all want this solved.
Jake: I appreciate the offer, but I work best alone... Except when it comes to s*x. Actually, sometimes including s*x.
“TMI” Jaune said shuddering
“Way TMI” Weiss said in agreement
Amy: Will you just let us help?
Jake: Okay, fine. I will let one of you help me... Charles.
Jake: And I am choosing Charles because he's the least likely to steal my thunder.
Charles: I would never steal his thunder. I-I'd be afraid to borrow it. (Chuckles)
“This will come back to bite you Jake” Oscar deduced thinking
“Yeah, it usually does” Blake said recalling times Jake’s poor decisions had fallen flat.
We then come to Holt’s office as Terry enters
Holt: Terry, I'd like you to accompany me to a gun range.
Terry: You mean drive you there and wait outside... Far away from the guns.
“No, I think you are going in their Terry” Yang said smiling
“I think this is where you get over your fear” Ruby said excited
Holt: I spent eight years in the public affairs office, so my tactical skills are a little rusty. I need some pointers.
Terry: Sir, I haven't fired a weapon since the incident.
Holt: The mannequin incident... I'm familiar.
“Oh, we are all familiar with it, hard to forget” Nora said giggling
We come back to the department store where we see Terry scream and shoot at a mannequin till, he is out of bullets
The group laugh as this was still funny even more since it skipped to the shooting and screaming part.
End of Flashback
We return to the present
Terry: Actually, there was an incident after that.
Holt: Another incident?
“Wait there was another incident?” Jaune asked surprised
“This is going to be hilarious I bet” Yang said grinning
We see Terry and Jake in a different part of the department store and Terry screams and shoots at a piñata till his gun is empty again
Jake: You got to cool it, man. I'm gonna get some candy. (Goes to do that)
“Yeah, can’t let that candy go to waste” Ruby said giggling
“I guess that is true” Oscar said smiling
End of Flashback
Back in the present time
Terry: Sir, I may not be the man for the job.
Holt: You used to be the precinct's champion marksman. I only want to take pointers from the best. So, I'll keep it low-key. We'll go after work to a private range. No cops, no pressure.
“Seems too good to be true” Ren said thinking on it
“I agree, where is the but to all of this?” Weiss asked
Gina: (comes into the office from round the corner with a finger gun spooking Terry) Blam! Blam, blam! Gun range.
Holt: I told Gina she could join us.
“There it is” Nora said giggling
“No pressure huh? This is going to be torture for Terry” Blake said rolling her eyes
Gina: I want to get certified. There has been a ton of crime in my neighborhood, and the cops in my precinct are very bad.
Holt: You live in our precinct.
Gina: Yeah, I know.
“Wow Gina, tell us how you really feel about your co-workers” Oscar said surprised
“I think if we did ask that she would” Yang said thinking
We come to the Hotel with Jake and Charles who were questioning the Doorman.
Jake: I know we've gone over this before, but I have to ask you again. Is there anywhere you can think of in that hallway where a knife could be hidden?
Doorman: Well, since I've already told you, like, three times, no, why don't I just record it? Then I don't have to say it again. (records with his phone) The hallway, like all other hallways, does not have a secret knife-hiding place. All right, you want to hear it again?
“No, we don’t but you are going to anyway” Jaune said shrugging
“Jake is only doing his job mister doorman” Blake said shrugging
Recording: (plays) Idea for a novel... A mild-mannered doorman gets bitten on the pen1s by a radioactive spider and becomes the world's greatest lover. (Doorman stops it)
“Wow…let me guess the main character has your name doesn’t it doorman?” Weiss said rolling her eyes
“Wouldn’t put it past him” Nora said shrugging
Jake: (he and Charles amused) No, don't stop it. I want to hear what happens.
Charles: This is terrific.
Doorman: He saves the first lady, if you must know.
Jake: Sounds compelling.
“Yeah, sounds like a great read” Blake said sarcastically
“And a real page turner” Nora adds in shaking her head
We then come to them doing door to door interviews, with Charles knocking on door 607 and a naked old woman answers the door.
Charles: Oh, boy.
“AHHHH! My eyes!” Ruby cries out, true she can’t see passed her shoulders, but it leaves little to the imagination what could be down there
“Oh, this is awkward” Yang said shaking her head
Lady: Well, hello. I heard you guys were making the rounds again.
Jake: All right. (Clears throat) This one's all you, tiger. (leaves)
Charles: Come on!
“Sorry, Charles, looks like you pulled the short straw” Jaune said sighing knowing the feeling on occasions.
“I don’t blame Jake for letting Charles take it” Nora said
Jake goes to room 610 and knocks on the door
Jake: Police! (Door opens) Hey, ma'am.
We see the woman is an overworked mother holding her baby while wearing oven mitts
Lady: Thank God! Here, hold this. (Hand baby to Jake and the baby crying) The lasagna's burning. (Heads back inside)
“Well calling it now but she won’t be much of a help” Ren said thinking
“I second the thought” Weiss said with a nod
A dog barks and runs out the room and down the hall
Lady: Get the dog, but don't let it touch the baby!
Charles goes after the dog as the baby cries and Jake’s phone rings
“I feel sorry for this lady, she seems very overworked” Yang said
“I guess so but least Jake and Charles are there to help a bit” Oscar said nodding
Jake: Oh. Okay. (Answers his phone while trying to calm the baby) Peralta.
Rosa: Yo, I looked at the photos of your victim on your desk.
“Oh, discover anything useful that Jake might have missed Rosa?” Oscar asked
“Because I think he needs a break in the case so I second that question” Ren said nodding
Charles: (comes back carrying the dog) Is that Rosa? Tell her I said hi.
Rosa: The puncture wounds are similar to a case I had a while back. They aren't from a knife. I think it's something spiral, like a corkscrew.
“Interesting choice of weapon” Blake said “Not only is it less messy if you hit the right spot but easier to hide”
“Good find Rosa” Ruby said giggling
Jake: (to the baby) Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Rosa: Don't shush me. I'm helping you.
Jake: No, no, I'm holding a baby. That was actually very helpful, thank you.
Rosa: Uh-oh. You better get back here. Now.
“Uh oh, this doesn’t seem like a good one” Weiss said worried
“I think we about to find out the meaning behind the episode’s title” Yang said and the others agreed.