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Dragonbaze's avatar

Wayfar - Chapter 3: Home Sweet Plan, page 8

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© 2014 - 2021 Dragonbaze
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Noeland's avatar
Speaking as someone who lives and breaths high contrast black and white, I think it's a well done page. Nice work.
bcbwrick's avatar
Addition of color could save this over rendered page.  A bit more pre-planning could have kept the black areas and details from blending into one another.  Strong drawing and interesting page otherwise.
Dragonbaze's avatar
Thanks for the feedback! I actually went back, made a few changes and updated the page. Here is the old version. Do you think it's improved? Thanks for your time.
bcbwrick's avatar
I apologize for not being as helpful as I could be with my original comment.  You have obviously put a lot of excellent work into these pages and care a great deal about your characters and story, which is why I wanted to comment.  These are great attributes.  The over-rendering I am speaking about with the areas blending into one another has more to do with a lack of separation between planes - meaning that all the characters and details exist with the SAME weight of rendering, black and detail which clearly places them flatly together instead of in deep space.  This quality actually plays havoc with your storytelling as the reader is left to decipher all these complex shapes.  Reserve your thickest lines, most detail, and densest black areas for the foreground.  Back off on detail in the middle ground and use spare detail in the background.  This will take the same drawing and pop the characters from one another.  I am a fan of these pages.  A small change in thinking could make a huge difference in the finished artwork.  I look forward to seeing more pages.  Thanks for posting.  RICK
Dragonbaze's avatar
Not at all, you've been very helpful and I'm thankful for the feedback. I went back a third time and removed some of the background detail between the two foreground soldiers among other details
I've brought with me your pointers onto the next pages when working on them. Hopefully there is an improvement in the next page. :) Thanks again and have a great weekend!
Zurluk's avatar
too much white
kyrtuck's avatar
oooh, is that hand-lettering I see?
kyrtuck's avatar
Well ya did I good job on it.  I know how it can be both a pain and a delight.
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