Happy birthday!

A few days from today, the history books show an entry.  An entry of mystery, and portent, as the great powers came down upon the Earth, and, in accordance with the wishes of the mighty King Kong, granted the world a boon.  That boon was you.  And lo, let it be said to all that you are to be wished a Happy Birthday upon that day, with the most excellent and amazing of cakes to partake in!

Hey! Catch a llama and have a nice day!

History records that, just days from now, a tremendous upheaval took place as the ground cracked and broke apart, tornadoes spun counter to their nature, and even Godzilla bowed as you appeared upon the Earth to grace us with your art. And so it is wished upon you to have a Happy Birthday on that day....and a most excellent cake.  

In a short time hence, may you have a most happy birthday, for that is the day that you descended upon the Earth in a shower of lightening!   Also, have delicious that day!