Dracowulf's avatar
The Resident Crazy.
61 Watchers24.7K Page Views697 Deviations
Boyfriends at the Park
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2014.09.07-WindowShopping
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Saturdays
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2nd.2.047
How do we learn to live with ourselves?  How do we learn how to stop trying to be someone else?  How much of who we are is invested in what we do? Finding strength and finding voice are not easy things to do.  I am trying and searching, but I am so afraid that if I finally find and speak, I will discover I have nothing to say.  Then, in panic and bitter agony, I fall silent and still.  Depression is there, waiting, with open arms.  But I don't want to go there. But I don't want to be here either, accompanied by so much doubt and abject uncertainty.  Am I a fraud?  Am I trying too hard?  Where am I on the page? 02.16.2012
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2nd.2.046
I want to weave a story like a tangled ball of yarn.  something with many fibers all twisted together and wound tightly into one braided strand of woolen complexity. I don't want to make some fancy pair of socks, or a cliched sweater that no one will ever wear and will always lie and say that they do. I want to create a story that will be wondrous.  I want there to be tangles and knots that don't seem to make any sense on the first time through, and maybe not even the third. But it will make meaning to at least one person at some point. I will make a story that is more than just another kind of entertainment. It will be hard and long and
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2nd.2.045
They are in the process of cutting down one of the trees on the "island" at school. Somehow, I feel a lot like that tree: just cut suddenly and left wondering what just happened to me, and was it something real or just one more thing that I have Somehow Imagined into a Halfway existence that, for some unknown reason, still torments me. 02.14.2012
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2nd.2.044
I am so genuinely small.  I feel like a mouse that has been asked to cross an eight lane highway, but I haven't been given a real reason to do it, and none of the speeding cars know or care that I am down here, shaking, cowering in fear between lanes, buffeted by the wind. I find myself terrified of nothing and stricken helpless by the smallest of uncertainties.  Sometimes I can't even bear my own company, but I can't escape myself.  I am stuck here, screaming without sound at phantoms I can neither see nor describe.  I can rationalize it all away - compare the ease of my life to the challenges others face, remind myself that I am not alone,
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2nd.2.043
     Sometimes     there isn't really time.     So simply try to live embrace a little silence          and let go. 02.12.2012
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2nd.2.042
Sometimes it seems so amazing to me that any of us human beings ever manage to find a place in or our way through this world.  Most days I wake up and have to fight my own emotional terror and defeatism just to make it to the night and the relief of dreams. The world and so much of what it holds scares me in a deep way that I can't describe or explain or reason away.  I find myself considering uncertainties and my mind shuts down in paralyzing fear.  No one sees it.  Almost no one knows.  The most frightening part is the fact that I know it makes no sense at all.  I know how irrational phobias are.  I don't know why I fear people, the future,
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2nd.2041
Where do our nightmares come from?  Where do they go in the daylight?  Do dreams slumber?  Do terrors sleep?  Our imaginations leap into overdrive when the sun goes down and our eyes flutter reluctantly closed.  Our minds cleverly blur the lines of reality and make us wonder, doubt, and question.  The real and the impossible merge to a symphony of confusion, and all the while, we slumber.  Are the hands that fashion our fancies our own?  Do we mold our own monsters?  Are we the only architects of our private nighttime hells?  Or is there more of the hand of chance in our dreams?  Deus ex machina?  Perhaps we do live in a world constructed by
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Boyfriends at the Park
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2014.09.07-WindowShopping
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Saturdays
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I
I THINK. 336
Hear the voices in the fallen leaves?     The embrace of chilled air - can you feel it?          Stare across the field, into the haze of the               growing fog of night, the diffused glow -               soft and orange - of the street lamps; you               just might see a dream.     Does it live only in your mind?     Will whispering it to the stars                                   make it real? Can you save it in pixels or ink or sound?     Can a memory breathe?               Do fallen leaves despise the feet                                   that trample them? Walk the paths of night, wander in your mind and by you
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I THINK. 331
Can I tryst myself? Can I trust you?               these pages...          These pages keep my secrets - the secrets I have to tell, but cannot speak. I have to trust my pen to speak for me, and the eyes of some Reader to listen.               Is it so hard to imagine?                    So difficult to understand? Some things have to come to the outside.  Some things have to be known.  Some things have to be shared with strangers - but in such a way that the truth is discoverable, not apparent.     I do not always trust myself.          Chances are good I will not always                                   trust you.          But if you
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2nd.1.033
Pen to paper, to paper, to paper, to write.  How do we know, how do we reason, fathom the depths of the infinite?  Discovery of time, place, knowledge, happenstance, fate.  How do we feel, how do we yearn, how do we dream?  Paper meets pen, meets mind, meets soul.  Unadulterated.  Honest.  Innocent.  The unknown faced without fear, because nothing goes ahead of it.  Pen to paper, paper, paper.  Hand to pen, to paper.  Press. Stroke.  Caress.  Form the formless, create in the void, fill silence. Blood and ink, blood and water.  Pen in hand, pen to paper, to paper, to paper, to eyes.  Minds touch, hearts speak - all in silence, holy silence.  T
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Merganser Family
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Osprey 04
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Under Heaven
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Rock Wall
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Merganser Family
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Osprey 04
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Under Heaven
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Rock Wall
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Full Moon
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Osprey 03
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Osprey 02
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Osprey 01
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Of Fancy
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Regent
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Mountain Venture
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Fury Within
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549
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Brink Abstract Wallpaper
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The Abyss Gazes Back
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He Who Fights Monsters
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6.6K
Leon Kennedy. Dark
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1.2K

Spotlight

April 19, 1990
United States
Deviant for 13 years
Badges
Fancy Llama: Llamas are awesome! (1511)Fancy Llama: Llamas are awesome! (1511)
Paranoid: Wears a tinfoil hat
Delicious Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Delicious Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)Delicious Cake: My, that's a delicious cake (1)
birthdAy '10: decade of deviousness
melancholy
My sicknesse chiefly in conceit doth lye, What I imagine, that's my malady. Strange Chymeras are in my phantasie, And things that never were, nor shal I see.  ~ Anne Bradstreet Not dead, just... not really living either.
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On writing stuff...
Writing doldrums baaaaaad all up in here - plenty of desire but no "get-up-and-go" or "sit-down-and-write."  So I need a kick in the pants, in one form or another. Encouragement's great, but as thin-skinned as I can be, I'm pretty sure I need some criticism.  I'm asking around amongst some of my friends and family who'd be willing readers, or even better, willing to tap someone I don't know (and who doesn't know me) to read something and give some honest, bald-faced feedback.  In some ways I think I respond better to a challenge or someone telling me I can't do something than just vanilla encouragement or vague praise.  I suppose I'm rather
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it's over
Sofi is gone and i am not okay
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Comments638

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BloodBandit's avatar
Happy Birthday Draco! :heart: Hope you're doing well c:
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scorchedfang's avatar
scorchedfang|Student General Artist
Hey, Ender, it is me, Scorched.

Didn't know you had dA.
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Accord2's avatar
You are amazing. You are a fantastic writer.  I like really, really, really much your texts. I can feel the feelings and then I get sad. Your texts make me thinking too and reflect about myself. Thank you very much for sharing. I wish you a very long a full life. 
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Dracowulf's avatar
Dracowulf| General Artist
Thank you very much.  :)  Making someone feel something is always one of the goals (if not the goal) of writing.  I appreciate you taking the time to read some of what I've written.
All the best to you as well, mate.
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RedianWolff's avatar
RedianWolff|Hobbyist General Artist
:iconhappybirthdaysignplz:
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gonzalexx1's avatar
Llamatus Reciprocalus Gratie
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BloodBandit's avatar
HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAYYY!!! :dummy: :party: :iconcakechocplz: :iconballoonsplz: :icontardboogieplz: Hope you had a great one Draco <3 :3. And if you ever want to play Platinum on ME3 again just give me a note/shout on Origin :heart: ^^
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