How do we learn to live with ourselves? How do we
learn how to stop trying to be someone else? How
much of who we are is invested in what we do?
Finding strength and finding voice are not easy
things to do. I am trying and searching,
but I am so afraid that if I finally find
and speak, I will discover I have nothing to
say. Then, in panic and bitter agony, I fall
silent and still. Depression is there, waiting,
with open arms. But I don't want to go there.
But I don't want to be here either,
accompanied by so much doubt and abject
uncertainty. Am I a fraud? Am I trying
too hard? Where am I on the page?