oh my dear community of weirdness! after quite a while i was checking into my accounts again. i noticed it was thirteen years ago when i opened my very first dA account and almost four years it has been since i wrote my last journal entry. i also noticed i frequently wrote these before. i forgot i did. i had no recollection of what i wrote back then. whatsoever. this is immensely entertaining to me because it's like reading and wondering about someone else's bull shirt. i'd guess anybody who published their thoughts (and have slight amnesia) over a period of time can relate. i don't agree with my teen- nor early-twenty-something-self on many things, hellion, i don't understand why i even cared about all these topics i wrote about (fucking puppets?) and oh yeah i love that. it's like listening to these old cassette recordings of self-made plays and music you created with your childhood friends. it makes me sort of miss this. not because i'm nostalgic, not because i would like to rewind (hello paradox), nor because i claim to not still carry the same amount of stupid in my head BUT this great energy for expressing all these pointless thoughts and rather unsophisticated opinions i had back then seems to be slowly floating gars-know-where-to (and i'm still struggling with finding a way to stop it from doing that). well, i spare you the rest of my short self-reflection tour. basically i just want to say (well, ok, not before but now): shit is such an amazing fertilizer. mind nourishing, controversy fueling. white cube material it is. hail hail!