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*

 

 

“... Papa?”

Ushijima wakes up to a small child’s trembling voice, and even smaller hands tugging the sleeve of his shirt. Outside, the rain brings chaos to the earth and rattles his window. Beside him, the dim glow of the lamp reveals a tear stained face and red rimmed eyes from too much crying and snot running down from his nose. There’s a battered teddy bear secured in his arms, made of hand stitches and carefully sewn buttons.

(It’s also made of home.)

The boy speaks again, his tone an octave higher. “Papa, can I sleep with you? The t-thunder—”

Immediately, a lightning strike flashes outside.

“... Alright,” he responds eventually with a sigh after his son gripped his entire arm in fear, lifting the comforter to invite the child to his side. His son climbs up the bed with difficulty, and Wakatoshi has to wrap his arms around the child’s body to scoop him up the bed. Ushijima grabs a wad of tissues from the bedside table and wipes the snot from his nose.

“Papa?”

“Yes?”

The child plays with a loose thread on the teddy bear, eyes downcast. “I heard the other parents talking about me in school…”

“And?” Ushijima prompts him, flinging the crumpled tissues in the trash in some far corner of the room. It’s a clean shot, and he imagines Tendou would have congratulated him for it.

High school seems so long ago now.

“They said that mama isn’t... here anymore because of me.”

“It’s true.” Ushijima faces his son, unblinking. “[Name]—” he pauses, and it feels like a millennium since he has spoken your name, like an ancient kingdom born again between his lips. “Your mother suffered from postpartum hemorrhage when she gave birth to you,” he explains slowly, repeating what the doctors had said to him that day, after he was ushered to an empty corridor outside the delivery room amidst the frantic hollering of nurses and the clattering of surgical tools and beeping machines. He still remembers the small details in the hallway: the flickering light of the neon exit sign by the staircase, the tiny analog clock above a neat row of plastic chairs, and how the universe in your eyes died that very night.

The medical jargon was lost on the child, and whatever hope he had left had spiraled down the abyss. Dark thoughts start to claw at his mind—so you were a mother-killer after all. “Then does that mean that mama h-hates me?” his son murmured, face contorted in anguish, biting his lower lip to keep himself from crying.

“No. That’s not possible,” he tells him, eyebrows slanted downwards in confusion that practically screams, ‘Why would you even think that? What a strange child you are.’

“But—”

Wakatoshi doesn’t even let him finish. “Because she said she loved you before she died.”

The small child starts sobbing uncontrollably.

“What? Why are you crying?” he demands, slightly distressed at the sight of his son’s breakdown, and for an instant he is rendered paralyzed, mind drawn to a blank as he watches his child latch on to his shirt and suddenly his chest feels damp, before he allows himself to rest his hand on his son’s head, gently stroking his hair to comfort him.

“... You should sleep. It’s unhealthy to be awake at this hour,” Ushijima whispers, but the boy was already asleep, dreaming about the mother he will never meet.

 

*

 

lion lilies : flowers that represent a bond between parent and child.

hello everyone I am still alive
me: *cracks knuckles* alright, time to write a fluffly parent!ushijima fic--
me: ...... but what about a single parent!ushijima?????
me: ................fu k c

btw lion lilies aren't actually real (or maybe they are but I haven't seen any solid information about them) but they're a reference from ace attorney investigations 2 and is considered an important evidence in the game
so I guess this isn't really a reader insert fic but more of your child and ushijima interacting/angst family bonding
but I'm still considering it as one bec the reader is indirectly mentioned so yea
also if you spot any grammatical mistakes please tell me right away!

haikyuu (c) furudate haruichi
icon and manga coloring by phonograph
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmythiica:
Mythiica Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2019  Hobbyist Writer
why do you do this to me
Reply
:iconmika-mchu:
Mika-mchu Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2018
I think I just heard my heart shatter.
Reply
:iconclockays:
ClockAys Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2017
This is beautiful. Even though he's blunt, he seems like a great dad. <3
Reply
:iconeyeeangga27:
eyeeangga27 Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2017
don't want this to happen with my child and husbandOSFLGSORKOMFG
YOU REMIND ME TO BE HEALTHY OMG THANKS FOR THE BEAUTIFU--- *burst into tears*
Reply
:iconchanson-de-sirene:
Chanson-de-sirene Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2017
This was painful, but beautiful. Ugh, my heart :cries:
Reply
:iconlunarosej:
lunarosej Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2016  Student Writer
iM NOT CRYING I SWEAR
Reply
:iconearlgreycookies:
EarlGreyCookies Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2016
Wow I found a Wakatoshi fic. Dang.It's angst.

Everything aside, I thought you captured his characteristics wonderfully.
Reply
:iconbookerror:
bookerror Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2016  Student Writer
Damn, my feelings!! I love all the little details you included in this fic, it created a wonderful atmosphere. My poor baby Ushijima!!
Reply
:iconanimeinfiresme:
animeinfiresme Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
I'm just reading this at 12:55 AM right after watching episode 10 of the third season and I'm kinda just emotionally shook/triggered/unstable.. I need help. This was sad and I want cookies now.
Reply
:iconmelonbread3:
Melonbread3 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Woaaaah, just ... Woahhh
Reply
:iconmikittykun:
Mikittykun Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
Oh.... My gosh.... This is a beautifully tragic piece! I'm actually tearing up, and your descriptions were just... Ugh! Perfection!

//sniff
Reply
:icondovelair:
dovelair Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
your tears give me strength, pls cry some more
thanks so much! 
Reply
:iconthe-tomatoboss:
the-TomatoBoss Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016  Student General Artist
you reA LLY GOTTA MAKE ME CRY DONT YOU
Reply
:icondovelair:
dovelair Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
CRYING WILL ALSO SUMMON USHIJIMA ON YOUR DOORSTEP, SO IT'S A WIN-WIN
Reply
:iconone-lazy-vampire:
One-lazy-Vampire Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
How is a kid supposed to know what a hemorrhage is? Cut your kid some slack, Mr Moo moo.
Reply
:icondovelair:
dovelair Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
mr. moo moo has even higher expectations than a normal asian dad
"what? u don't know what hemorrhage is? but you're already seven years old! DISHONOR ON YOU"
Reply
:iconscribblybubbles:
scribblybubbles Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
omg, Ushijima is so blunt with his child...but on the other hand, I couldn't imagine/see him any other way.  this is so sad, but it's crafted so well too!
Reply
:icondovelair:
dovelair Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
justice for ushijima's son 2k16! someone pls save him
thanks so much! 
Reply
:iconlanikaia:
lanikaia Featured By Owner Edited Dec 9, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
it hurts but i like it 
Reply
:icondovelair:
dovelair Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
*strums guitar* we always love the things that hurt us the most
Reply
:iconlanikaia:
lanikaia Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
*shakes tambourine* that's beautifully profound 
Reply
:iconskull-lover1995:
Skull-lover1995 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
Ushijima-kun "sigh" the ever so blunt , but please not with a child (〒︿〒)💔
Reply
:icondovelair:
dovelair Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
ushijima: what.....? be more sensitive? ok
ushijima: u killed ur mother
Reply
:iconskull-lover1995:
Skull-lover1995 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
😂😂😂
Reply
:iconmaryppe:
Maryppe Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
I just heard my heart shattered T.T
This was so touching and it almost moved me to the tears~
Probably because I lost my mother long long time ago....
This was beautiful Master~
Reply
:icondovelair:
dovelair Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
I'm glad it was shattered to pieces
oh god I'm so sorry to hear that ; - ; I'm sure she's in a better place!
thanks again! 
Reply
:iconobscurephoenix:
ObscurePhoenix Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
YOU QUESTION WHY I WRITE ANGST AND THEN PROCEED TO UPLOAD AN ANGST FIC
Ushijima, that's not how you explain things to a child! ;~;

Reply
:icondovelair:
dovelair Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
HEH TRICKED U
what u talkin about it's the BEST way to explain it
"THAT'S RIGHT FUCKER U KILLED UR OWN MOTHER, REPENT FOR UR SINS"
Reply
:iconnubesitos:
nubesitos Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
YAS THIS BROUGHT ME BACK FROM THE DEAD
Reply
:icondovelair:
dovelair Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
WELCOME BACK TO THE LIVING 
Reply
:iconnubesitos:
nubesitos Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2016
THANK U !
ITS GOOD TO BE BACK
Reply
:iconpvlimpsest:
pvlimpsest Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
YAAAAAAAA MINELLI U BACK AT IT AGAIN
Reply
:icondovelair:
dovelair Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
BACK AGAIN WITH DEM SWEET ANGST FICS
Reply
:iconrandomyami:
RandomYami Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016

Me: oh what a sweet Ushijima fic
*is angst*
Me: Fukc yeah. Make my heart ache
Reply
:icondovelair:
dovelair Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
gotta deliver the angst fics straight to your kokoro
Reply
:iconstarrymayflower:
starrymayflower Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
DO U KNOW HOW HAPPY I WAS WHEN U FINALLY UPDATED A GOLDEN FIC
BUT THEN MY HEART BROKE BECAUSE SINGLE-PARENT!USHIJIMA
HOW COULD U
HOW COULD U?!
THIS WAS REALLY WELL-WRITTEN! <3
Reply
:icondovelair:
dovelair Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2016
WHEN U DISAPPEAR FOR FOUR MONTHS IT'S TRADITION TO BREAK YOUR READERS' HEARTS FIRST
AND THEN SLOWLY HEAL THEM WITH SOME FLUFF
MUCH THANKS FAM, GLAD U ENJOYED THIS FIC
Reply
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