THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 17THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 17
Daisy Gets Back on her Feet
Daisy was standing in a desert filled with dead babies, all murdered by her Magic AK-47 that Never Runs out of Ammo. A man was standing before her wearing a tuxedo, a top hat, and a white sash that said "MAYOR".
"Daisy," the man said sadly, "I am so disappointed in you. You are such a bad person." And the man didn't look at all like the mayor of Richmond, but more like her father. He just shook his head, then turned and handed the key to the city to Flawless Man. Beside him stood the rude boy, and they both looked at Daisy and snickered.
To her horror, Daisy realized she was completely naked. She glanced back at the two males who mockingly appraised her. The mayor/dad had apparently vanished.
"Adequate," Flawless Man remarked, like a stuck up art critic.
"Not even," said the boy. His face looked meaner than it ever had before.
Daisy had never been so humiliated. She couldn't care less what Flawless Man thought, but for some reason
THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 16THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 16
Daisy Goes for a Walk on a Cold Day.
One bright but chilly day, Daisy was walking through the forest where she liked to pick wildflowers. There were no flowers in bloom this day though. The trees were bare, and the last hints of snow were beginning to fade. Spring was still a month or two off. It was a nice day for a walk.
Daisy was one day away from her birthday. She was turning seventeen. She felt as if nothing could bring her down.
As if in response to her thoughts, she heard a skittering sound behind her. She turned to see a very cautious-looking lizard beast sneaking around. As soon as it realized it had been spotted, it began to run away, but not before Daisy had whipped out her Magic AK-47 that Never Runs out of Ammo and riddled the thing full of holes.
She walked over to its corpse and poked at it with her foot. Curiously, this lizard beast was not covered in slime as the last one had been. Still, taking no chances that it might regenerate, she plante
THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 15THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 15
Daisy Meets Yet Another
"Please tell me it isn't you," the mayor's voice pleaded through the handset.
Daisy was still too stunned to respond as she watched the news. The reports were all the same. A young blonde girl wielding a sword and an assault rifle was knocking over bank after bank.
"Daisy?" The mayor began to sound panicked.
"Sorry Mr. Mayor. I'm watching the news and I don't know who it is, but it isn't me."
At least not a me that I've met yet, she thought silently.
"Please help us, Daisy."
"You can count on me, Mr. Mayor." Then she hung up the phone, did some quick figuring on her whiteboard, and determined the next bank that would be hit. Soon, she was on her way there, ready to meet another future self. This time, Future Daisy wouldn't get the drop on Present Daisy.
Clad in a black hoodie and sunglasses, she waited inconspicuously in an alley, staking out the bank across the street. Several security guards stood watch outside, apparently anticipati
THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 14THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 14
Daisy Runs Afoul of the Law
One cold winter morning, Daisy awoke and looked out her window to see the ground blanketed with snow. Feeling like a little girl again, she bundled up in a big pink puffy coat with a hood, and bounded out the front door of her house. The snow was nearly a foot deep.
Daisy immediately flopped down on her back and began making a snow angel. As she gazed up into the white, cloudy sky, she saw a tiny black dot. As she gazed at the dot, it began to get bigger.
The bigger it got, the faster it did so. In a matter of seconds it was no longer a dot, but a dark, boxy shape.
Daisy jumped up and did a backflip away from her snow angel spot. A split second later, an earth-shaking "WHUD!" resounded from where the object impacted. She studied it from a battle-ready crouch. The object resembled nothing so much as a twenty foot-tall stone statue of a man in robotic-looking armor, down on one knee, carrying a lance pointed at the ground, its head b
THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 13THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 13
Daisy Meets the Other, Part II
"You're..." Daisy stammered. "You're ME!"
"Bravo!" the older Daisy cheered as she clapped sarcastically. "And as I'm sure that sharp-if inexperienced-mind of yours has deduced, I'm from the future."
"Time travel..." Daisy pondered. Then, "How? Why did you come back? And how old are you?"
The other stood confidently, her hands on her shapely hips, her rugged beauty only slightly marred by the scar and missing eye. "I'm from seventeen years in the future. And it was one of Mister Shadow Man's experiments that allowed me to come back here."
"Mister Dark Evil Shadow Man!" Daisy growled.
The other's face softened a bit. "He's changed," she explained quietly. "Not so dark. Not evil."
Daisy scoffed. "I find that hard to believe."
"There is a lot you wouldn't believe. As for why I'm here, the man in that car is the reason. He was texting while driving. He would have hit you. In the wreck," she motioned to her eye patch and scar, "this w
THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 12THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 12
Daisy Meets the Other, Part I
Daisy had just gotten her driver's license. She had procured a suitable and sensible automobile and was taking her first drive by herself.
She came to a complete stop at a stop sign just like she was supposed to. She was about to pull out on to the main road, but slammed on the brakes again as she heard tires squealing to her right. A dark blue sedan swerved off the road away from her and forcefully wrapped its front end around a telephone pole.
Daisy was out of the car immediately, her muscles tensed, ready to deal with whatever drunk or distracted driver might present him- or herself.
The car's airbags had deployed and the driver appeared to be alright. Just as she was about to reprimand him, she noticed a steel cable protruding from the passenger side door. Inspection revealed a grappling arrow embedded in the door.
Daisy glanced up to trace the arrow's cable to its source. That source was a crossbow in the hands of a well-end
THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 11THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 11
Daisy Meets Flawless Man, Part II
"Of course," Flawless Man continued, "there would have to be some changes." Was it just her, or had his smile tilted downward just the least little bit?
"Changes?" Daisy muttered. The hot icy feeling started to come back, more icy than hot.
"Now your technique, from what I hear, is excellent. Your unique weaponry, combined with your skills, and the strength of your adequate body-"
Solid ice seemed to envelope Daisy. If the flapping of his perfect mouth made any other sounds after that point, Daisy was deaf to them. She now saw the occasional downward flick of his eyes, as they assessed the two parts of her body that-in his opinion-came up lacking. Without even realizing it had slowed down, Daisy now felt the flow of time return to normal. Without having heard all the words, she knew the gist of them.
"...recovery after the surgery, a few more weeks of training to get accustomed to your new physique, you would be back in actio
THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 10THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 10
Daisy Meets Flawless Man, Part I
Daisy walked into the little cafe one day. She sat down at the red table with its not-quite-ratty chairs and waited. The normally-prompt service was taking a bit longer than usual since it seemed to be a fairly busy day for them. She was a regular here, though, and forgave them since they had always been good to her in the past. She finally got a menu and spent the next few minutes deciding between a bagel with "the works", the Egg and Cheese Sandwich, or the Poached Salmon.
At the last minute, she decided on the Chicken Parmesan Sub. The friendly bearded waiter took her order, then her menu, and made his way behind the counter and the kitchen beyond.
Daisy sat sipping her Sprite and admired the artwork on the walls. Her gaze drifted to the window and then the college parking deck outside.
And that's when she saw him: Flawless Man.
His pictures didn't do him justice. He was so much more magnificent than television revealed. Fl
THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 9THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 9
Daisy Meets the Long Island Goth Brigade
(With apologies to Sarah Vowell)
Once upon a time, Daisy visited her cousin Courtney in Long Island for a week. One night, she went with Courtney to a concert featuring some of Long Island's finest bands. She was backstage with members of Brand New, Taking Back Sunday, and The Movielife. The musicians were all hanging out, talking, and drinking some beers. Courtney was flirting with Vin Accardi of Brand New.
After the emo kids left the floor, the way was cleared for the show that was going on later that same night. Floor-staring moping kids in black teeshirts, glasses, and eyeliner were replaced with floor-staring moping kids in black trenchcoats and black and white face paint.
"Goth night, eh?" Daisy inquired.
"Guess so," replied Courtney.
"Are our backstage passes good for this show too?"
"I guess. What, you like goth now?" Courtney inquired.
"I don't know. I've never really heard any before."
"So," Courtney said, "Yo