THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 25THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 25
Daisy Meets a Giant Alien Slug
Daisy was spinning a clay pot on her new potter's wheel one evening when she heard a shuddering rumble. The whole house shook with the force and Daisy only lost her grip for a split second, but that was all it took. Her pot was now ruined. This was the twelfth ruined pot of the night and now she was pissed.
Daisy stood up, wiped her hands on a rag, unplugged the wheel, then went outside to investigate. A massive gray and tan globular form was making its way down the street past her house. Amorphous lumps served as legs and produced the loud thuds as it shambled ponderously.
"Hey!" Daisy shouted.
The creature stopped, then turned what Daisy presumed to be a head her way. "Whaaaat?" it bellowed slowly.
"Could you please not stomp so loudly through the neighborhood? You're shaking people's houses!"
The thing's headlike appendage lowered slightly. "Sooorrrrrryyy," it bellowed deeply.
"Can you move more quietly?" Daisy asked, her ann
THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 24THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 24
Daisy's Arts and Crafts Showdown
One fine day, Daisy was at an arts and crafts show with Rhonda and Brandon (who was not in costume as Blayder Boy). Neither he nor Rhonda were terribly interested in it, but Daisy was fascinated by the ceramics. She was pondering why she had never thought about it before when suddenly the ceiling of the venue exploded.
It rained metal, sheet rock, and other materials down on their heads. Daisy was at the ready, and when the dust cleared, a young blonde girl sat crouched on the floor, her eyes burning with hatred for Daisy. Her hair was in twin ponytails, and she wore a skintight black leather outfit, the top of which was strategically cut to safely reveal as much cleavage as possible.
"Bad Penny," Daisy intoned mirthlessly.
"Fresh out of the big house!" She turned to Brandon. "Blayder Boy, you're looking well."
Brandon remained inscrutably silent.
Bad Penny gave a look of mock heartbreak. "Awwww, don't wanna talk to me with yo
THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 23THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 23
Daisy Slays Some Vampires
Brandon Phung, AKA Blayder Boy asked Daisy to go to Goth Night at his favorite club. Daisy had liked the goth music she had heard so far, so she agreed.
She put on a black dress, spike-heeled boots, white face powder, black lipstick, and black eyeliner. Brandon wore a black trenchcoat, black jeans, a black teeshirt, heavy heavy black boots, lots of chains, white face powder, black lipstick, and black eyeliner.
At the club, Daisy was reminded of her trip to Long Island where she met Juggernaut, Cueball, and Mary-Sue... or whatever their names were. There was no live band this night, just a DJ spinning Bauhaus, Nosferatu, Alien Sex Fiend, Type O Negative, and Cradle of Filth among others.
"I have a confession to make," Brandon shouted in her ear over the pounding music.
"What's that?" Daisy shouted back.
"I'm mixing business with pleasure. There are vampires here. We need to take them out."
"Who do I look like? Buffy?" Daisy was a bit
THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 22THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 22
Daisy was working out one Saturday morning when she heard a knock at her front door. Still clad in her sweats, she went to answer it. She opened the door quickly and was ready for anything. She had no idea how much she was hoping it would be Garth until she saw it wasn't him.
Instead, a svelte Asian boy about Daisy's own age stood in the doorway wearing a black three-piece suit. She was loathe to admit it, but he was quite attractive.
"Hello, my name is Brandon Phung. Are you busy?"
"Daisy, at your service. I was just finishing my workout. How can I help you?"
"I'm doing a story about you for my school newspaper. Might I trouble you for an interview?"
Daisy was flattered. The Times Dispatch had run a blurb about her in the Metro section once, but no paper had actually asked to interview her.
"It's no trouble," Daisy responded.
"Great!" Brandon replied enthusiastically.
Soon they were seated in the den, Brandon asking questions abo
THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 21THE DAISY SAGA, EPISODE 21
Daisy Watches Fate Unfold, Part III
Daisy was just trying to decide whether or not she could bend the rules in this world to allow her Magic AK-47 that Never Runs out of Ammo to be used against humans when the Mister Dark Evil Shadow Man on the left turned and began strangling the one on the right.
"You BASTARD!" he screamed, as the darkness began to evaporate from him little by little. "You stole the best years of my life! You corrupted my mind! I'm going to kill you! I will be Dark and Evil no more! I am Mister Shadow Man!" And as the darkness evaporated from him, it drifted over to the other, making him even darker. And as the one on the right absorbed the extra darkness, his expression of surprise at being choked changed into a knowing smile. Soon, the darkness itself lashed out from his body and enveloped the other.
The tendrils of darkness pried the left one's fingers from the right one's throat, then lifted him into the air.
"Well Mister Shadow Man," t
Never WasAs you stood on the beach, looking over your shoulder, I noticed that look in your eye. I knew what it foretold. Foolishly, I ignored it. More's the pity.
Now, here you are, ready to depart with our children, barely able to contain your hatred for me. And I wonder how it was that I came to trust you. And you have no idea that the last seventeen years are about to be erased. I will shed one tear for you, the woman I will have never married. I will shed three tears for Rachel, Jonathan, and Craig, who will never have been born. And I will shed no tears for myself, for though I will have never known the joy we would have had, I will also have been free of everything you would have inflicted upon me.
As you slam the door behind you, an utterly reptilian scowl upon your once-beautiful face, I will already be on my way to the attic-slowly and cautiously-for it is not with excitement or glee that I do this, but with cold spite and dogged fatigue. I am not killing our children, I am just erasi