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Doctor Who and the Poisoned Pop TartsSomehow, the Doctor had lost the dining room. Victoria wasn’t quite sure how you could do that but you could bet that if anyone could, the Doctor would manage to lose an entire room in his ‘house’. Granted, it was a vast house. A vast, time-travelling house. After expressing her feelings of missing her old life, the Doctor had tried small little ways to make her feel more at home, and this dinner was supposed to be one of them. It was a sweet gesture, but this was the fifth time of being promised a ‘family dinner’; just like she used to remember, with silver cutlery and napkins, side plates and sturdy oak chairs that forced you into an attentive posture.And small talk. Glorious, British small talk. Instead to reminiscing over aliens and creatures they had battled and befriended, they might even talk about the weather.Not to mention, wonderful food with wafting aromas escaping to announce their arrival, offering teasing hints to what was to come. But after the fifth time, Victoria was even beginning to doubt the existence of this fabled dining room and the Plutonian candelabra that allegedly centred it. It wasn’t that she believed the Doctor to be lying exactly. More like, wanted to keep her hopes up and give her something to look forward to in his good-intentioned sort of way. When Victoria arrived in the make-shift dining room on the TARDIS (aka the console room) she was greeted by a peculiar smell and even more peculiar sight. The smell that hung thick like a fog in the air was definitely artificial - sweet and sickly - but with a vague resemblance to strawberries. That, and the smell of general burning. The sight, however, put the strange essence straight to the back of her mind as she stared in bewilderment.The bizarre image that unfolded before her was Jamie - dirk drawn and crouched ready to strike - snarling at what appeared, to Victoria’s understanding of the modern world, to be a rather simplistic, white plastic toaster. The Doctor, arms outstretched, was standing defensively in front of it in order to prevent Jamie from launching his attack.“Jamie, really...” the Doctor began disapprovingly.“Wasnea my fault! Yon beastie pounced!” Jamie protested, withdrawing his attention, only slightly, from his foe. Whatever, attack this creature was about unleash, Jamie would be ready.Victoria broke away from her astonishment to give an amused smile, Jamie reminded her so of one of the Royal Guards back home, always alert and ready to put himself in danger for his companions. Even if the danger was a kitchen appliance.“Jamie,” the Doctor spoke firmly yet softly, your “beastie”, as you call it, is a toaster.”“Eh?”“A device for cooking bread.”“Are ye sure yer understand how dangerous this “toaster” is, Doctor? It did attack me!” Still not convinced by the ‘beasties’ benign intentions, Jamie watch closely for any sudden movements but gradually began to drop his guard. “Well...” the Doctor’s voice trailed off as he remembered a few occasions with burnt fingers and something he’d heard about not inserting cutlery inside but decided not to inform Jamie of these as they would only confuse the bizarre situation further. “Completely harmless.” He smiled his most reassuring trust me face and Jamie was warily convinced. Replacing his dirk, he eyed the toaster a careful warning not to try anything.Victoria shouldn’t have been so surprised; almost every mealtime involved something odd or unusual happening (if you could call life with the Doctor ever usual). Frankly, she was surprised they ever actually got an opportunity to eat at all. Feeling like she’d been ignored for long enough, she announced her presence with a subtle, lady-like “ah-hem”. Both jumped a mile at the unnoticed third party and pretended in vain to ignore the events of the last 10 minutes. Jamie, in particular, looked embarrassed and tried not to meet Victoria’s gaze. Fortunately, the Doctor distracted their attention with perfect timing. He was a Timelord after all.“Victoria, just in time!” and beaming, he produced a steaming pile of slightly crisp looking... somethings. Aware of the baffled expressions of his companions, the Doctor explain, “They’re called ‘Pop Tarts’ placing the plateful on the floor between Victoria and Jamie who seated themselves beside it. The Doctor joined them, “found them in a cupboard from my last little trip to the late 20th century.” As if to add some comfort to their uncertainty he added, “they did come highly recommended.” Victoria wasn’t sure if Jamie felt it was his duty to test anything unknown before her or just was simply curious as he cautiously reached out and took an exploratory bite of the crunchy and gooey substance. His face instantly recoiled into a grimace, “och! Doctor, that’s revoltin’!” And shot the toaster a venomous stare, “I knew yon beastie was up tae no good!”At this news, Victoria was even less convinced this was a sensible idea and cautiously only took a tiny bite. She pulled an equally repulsed expression which only further confirmed to Jamie that this toaster was a creature of malice. Sloshing water into glasses, Jamie offered one to Victoria, face still drawn into an expression of distaste, and both quickly drained the glasses of their content. Pouring himself more water, he addressed the Doctor accusingly who looked perplexed by the unfolding events, “there ya see! Yon beastie tried tae poison us!”Amusement flooded the Doctor’s features and he laughed heartily; “oh, stop exaggerating you two!” He ceremoniously plucked a single Pop Tart from the pile and held it before him as if to examine it. “It may be different from what you’re used to but we must be open to new things.” That’s easy for him to say thought Victoria sullenly, she’d felt like she’d had quite enough new things recently to last her a lifetime.The Doctor took an enthusiastic bite of his Pop Tart and smiled pleasantly as he carefully chewed it as if analysing and mentally recording the whole process. His smile didn’t stay for long. His whole face sagged like an instant increase in gravity and his chirpy mood followed. First, he simply looked bemused by the new experience, then he looked more puzzled, and for the briefest moment, he actually looked close to actual enjoyment but this mood quickly reversed to one of definite distaste. He beckoned urgently at Jamie to hand him water and gratefully (if not elegantly) downed the contents in one. Meanwhile, his companions who had looked upon this spectacle were unsure how to react. They waited for an eternity for the Doctor to voice his feelings as he opened his mouth to speak, waited, shook his head and rushed to pour another glass of water which he drank instantly. Finally, when he’d dramatically swallowed the last glug of the liquid, he spoke; “blimey!”It was now the Doctor’s turn to eye the toaster suspiciously. “Yes... I see what you mean Jamie. No doubt the Cybermen or perhaps Yeti enjoy such treats for their tea but I think I’ll give this one a miss.” And, wiping his hands on his frock coat, he collected the hazardous plate with steam still billowing and placed them into a concealed panel in the main control panel. The Doctor swiftly prodded a few buttons in a random-looking pattern and grinned mischievously. Victoria and Jamie joined him at the console and waited for him to explain. When no explanation seemed forthcoming, Victoria, broke the suspense,“Doctor, what’s that down there?” she pointed to the panel that she’d previously never noticed.“That, Victoria”, the Doctor smiled gleefully, “is a matter-transporter. It transports... Well, matter I suppose.”“So...” Victoria understood most of her science from either her father or the Doctor and was finding this concept a little tricky to comprehend. “If everything is made of matter...” she spoke slowly as if contemplating and carefully considering her next sentence, “then a matter-transporter can...?” realisation struck her at once, “a matter-transporter can beam any object anywhere!” “Well done Victoria!”Jamie hadn’t said much as he’d grappled with all the talk of technology and science but now felt he understood enough to contribute. “So, if ye transported yon matter-tarts; where did they go?”“Ah ha,” the Doctor had that familiar mischievous glint in his deep eyes would usually only spelled trouble for himself and his companions. Tapping the side of his nose in the conspiratorial gesture of secrecy, he shot them both a wink; “that would be telling. Let’s just say that the people of my home planet have never experienced 20th century Earth’s breakfast cuisine either and I think it’s about time that they were enlightened.”Victoria looked a little confused and with furrowed brow at how anyone would want to attempt that, questioned; “but Doctor, that whatever-it-was was positively revolting. Surely your people won’t like that one bit!”The Doctor’s eyes twinkled with Puckish delight and face was set into a fixed smile of pure amusement and joviality when he spoke; “no Victoria, my dear, I don’t believe they will.”
The Casebook of Skasis Fane: K-ASHER (pt. 4)“Just like in an airport,” Erfin murmured to herself. The guards had already come for her and Thor, so she was obediently making her way to her possible doom. To make things worse, soon the corridor divided in two, and she was separated from her possible guide. “We still gonna participate in the same event, are we?”“Stop talking!” The guard puncher her under the shoulder-blade.“Freaks no geeks,” Erfin snarled and dodged the stick aiming for her eye. “I asked you a question. Or do you understand the fist language only?”She did not receive any response, but was thrown onto the floor, and the door slammed shut between her. Immediately, yelling and rooting, although muffled, made her feel as if she was underwater, metaphorical bells ringing in her head. Cursing under her breath, Erfin sat up and saw that she was in an empty hexagonal room with a door in each of its walls. Those doors would be identical if it were not for the patterns on them – those were the faces of a playing die, each with a different number of dots.“I’m Mr. King Dice, I’m the game’st in the land, I never play nice, I’m the devil’s right hand man,” Erfin hummed, attempting not to allow herself to freak out. “Right then. Guess this place is full of traps. K-ASHER!”The third sector of device on her hand flashed silver, and Erfin found herself in the adult body again. Having let out a loud exhale to calm down, she examined the doors once again. Five, three, six, two, one, four; the first one was the entrance and locked for now. Erfin flexed her fingers to prepare a lightning bolt and pushed the door numbered one. It led to a similar hexagonal room with six doors, so Erfin almost felt disappointed. The damn electricity zap in her hand made it tremble, so she shook it off and strained her ears. Now she could hear laughing. No, not laughing, cackling. And more rooting. Erfin felt her insides curl up: she knew for sure that this rooting was not for her, but against her. She walked through three more rooms in complete silence, but the sixth one made her open the door with a kick and howl with distress. It was not the similarity of the rooms and not that she was stuck here. Erfin didn’t want to confess to herself that she was lost and didn’t know what to do. She sat cross-legged on the floor and stared at the device on the back of her hand.Cyan, red and silver. Rhodie, Hamish and herself. Wish one of them was here, Erfin thought not without another attack of anger at herself. They’re experienced… but once they were just like me. Newbies. And what do newbies do? They learn. Only now Erfin realized that she was instinctively following the one through six number sequence when entering the previous doors. But this did not give any results. So it’s not working, and there are much more numbers than six here, she summed up. Then she tried to recall the sequence of turns, but this only made her mind boil. Going round in circles was not an option.Erfin tugged on the handle of the door she had just passed, but it did not open. “Superheroes do not dumbly wait!” she shot out. “Superheroes find a way out!”Roar of collective laughter from far away followed. Erfin sneered:“Yes, I will find a way out! And I’m gonna win this game!”The voices faded, but Erfin got what she wanted. She supposed that the exit could be in the direction of the main public, so she entered the door which could lead her in that direction. This time she yelped two or three offensive phrases in every room, putting as much poison in them as she could, until the laughter began turning into booing.“In your face!” Erfin exclaimed, having realized that she was coming closer to the source of anti-rooting. Then she recalled the numbers on the doors which she had entered one by one. “Six, one, three, four, two, five… Gosh, is it as easy as that?” she groaned, a bit disappointed with herself. “Riiiiight, it’s dice! Two opposite sides form seven if added! At least now I know the pattern!”After passing some more rooms she made sure that her guess was correct: the booing intensified, and she could’ve sworn she saw insects crawling on the ceiling. Metal insects. “I’ve seen it somewhere,” Erfin murmured. “Playing dice and insects… Pop culture expert, damn it all!”“Erfin? Is that you?” One of the doors opened, and a long golden mane appeared. This time Erfin had to fight the urge to run and give Thor a bone-crushing hug, for her nerve was about to be lost. “Of course it’s me,” she snapped instead, doing her best to play cool. “I told you that you have more hair in your ear than a monkey when we first met,” she added. “Yeah, I was privileged to hear that,” Thor replied. “Besides, there’s no one else here except for the labyrinth monster.”“Freaking Minotaur, you mean?”“Don’t remember its real name.”“Why are you this calm, Thor? Or should I call you Theseus, if so?”“This task is considered to be one of the easiest,” Thor explained. “Mainly because it does not require physical strength as much as mind work. I’ve passed it a couple of times. If we win, there’s a chance that my siblings won’t have to participate.”“So you’re not sure? Last time you said it, you were sure that they won’t have to.”“If I were playing alone, it would’ve been for sure.”Erfin felt a prick of guilt: after all, she wanted to help Thor, and it came out that her presence here made it worse.“I hate making promises,” she confessed, “but now I promise I’ll scare the dayliving lights out of those who dare touch my siblings or yours.”This time she heard hissing, raised her head and regretted that she did it, for the sight of a striped metal snake slithering across the ceiling made her half-sick. It certainly shouldn’t have twirled so much if it was imitating the real one… Striped? Twirling? Dice?“The Nightmare before Christmas!” Erfin exclaimed, having made a group of metal bugs on the closest wall scatter every which way. “Oogie Boogie Man! That’s who’s here! Damn Oogie Boogie Man! Are we gonna play roulette with him?!”“Roulette?” Thor parroted, confused.“Guess you’ve never had a chance to learn what it is,” Erfin recalled. “It’s a game based on pure luck… Wait a mo’, you said that you’ve passed this challenge more than once. Are there different… monsters each time?”“Guess so. During my first time it was a man with a bull’s head, and then a red man with horns.”“This time it’ll be a living bag full of bugs,” Erfin informed and shuddered upon this thought: the corresponding movie scene had always made her shiver. But Thor didn’t need to know about it, so she gallantly went on: “But now I am Captain Sparklefingers, and no metal bugs will stand in my way. And yours as well.”Her first prediction came true after four more doors. Erfin could’ve sworn it was the genuine Oogie Boogie from the movie if she didn’t spot a tiny hole in its side, through which metal insects filling it could be seen.“Allow me. I know where their soft spots are usually located,” Thor muttered, backing away to the wall as slowly as he could. The bag-like creature made such motion as if it was smelling the air. “The previous time there were scales and hairs…”“Get to the core,” Erfin snapped almost too loudly, figuring out that the Oogie Boogie would be confused if it heard (if it could hear at all) two creatures from different sides. She crept to the opposite wall, attempting to keep focused on both the ‘bag of bugs’ and Thor.“I mean, those usually have lots of little tiny bits,” Thor explained syllable by syllable. “One or two of them mark the faults. Like nails become rusty… I guess no one has greased them or taken care of them.”“Show me a movie where a character greases their car,” Erfin murmured. “How am I going to determine the weak spot?.. Right then! I don’t care!” she roared, tackled the fake Oogie Boogie and whacked it against the floor, having made it immobile for a moment. That was enough for her to tug on the rope on the top of its head, dive her hand inside and send a lightning which made her shake from head to toe for some moments (although it seemed much longer to her). “Should be fried… This is how it’s done.”“Wow,” Thor only managed to let out. “I didn’t think you could do things like that.”“Neither did I,” Erfin confessed, kicking the now immobile smoking bag of bugs to make sure it wasn’t going to attack again. “Now what?”“I think you should not transform back. They will see what you’re capable of and may do the dirty on you. For now let’s search for the exit… and I don’t think that ruining this place to the ground would be the best option,” Thor stated: Erfin had already begun gathering more electric energy in her palms.“Dammit,” Erfin sighed, allowing the collected energy to dissolve. “You’re no Tesla.”Skasis kept his mouth shut along the way, mainly because he didn’t want to throw up. During his short life it had never happened to him, but now the sensation was just that – he knew that for a fact, maybe because of the residual memories of his four parts. Pewds was poker-faced, and it couldn’t be said clearly about Tardis, but her breathing became tenser as the place where they were led was closer and closer.“Now get out,” one of the guards snapped. Finally they were pushed into a pitch-dark place, the door was slammed shut behind them, and Skasis closed his eyes because the light that flashed on seemed too bright for him. When his sight got used to it, he took some deep breaths to calm down, for the impression was as if he was in the middle of a letter hurricane. Every square inch of the walls of this not so large space was covered in words at impossible angles, upside down and inside out, layers and layers of painted, printed, drawn, handwritten words in all possible languages and then some. As a Timelord, Skasis was well-versed in languages, but only in theory – he had never had a proper chance to apply this skill to practice. It worked kind of automatically. Only when he had had to interact with merpeople, whose language was unlike any sensible one, he had had to use the telepathic translation device. “Movable pictures,” Tardis said.“What do you mean by that?” Skasis asked. “Movies?”“Movable pictures,” Tardis repeated. “Those which could be moved… at will. Some watched others move those pictures.”“Some watched others… Wait, Tardis, you mean video games? And let’s plays?”Tardis did not reply, but Pewds did:“That’s just it. My clan is keen on those movable pictures. Some of them required brains. Coded messages and hidden meanings needed to proceed.”“Coded messages?” Skasis glanced at his hand device. Its silver sector had turned off, and he secretly hoped that Erfin was fine.“The worst part. Made me totally lose my religion,” Pewds replied, wrinkling his nose. “I learned them the hard way. See how skinny I am? One undeciphered code, and I was left without breakfast or lunch. Every day. Every. Darn. Day.” “My cousin Harkness once had to participate in a similar challenge,” Tardis informed, studying the pattern of letters and hieroglyphs above the ceiling. “Thank goodness he stayed alive, but he turned completely bonkers after that.”“Did he tell you anything about the keys to these codes?” Skasis asked, the temptation to transform beginning taking over him.“He managed to break some simpler ones.” Tardis began ticking her fingers off. “1 means A, 2 means B, 3 means C and so on. Also some half-letter ones…” she crouched, wrote her name on the dusty floor and rubbed the right halves of the letters off, “and letter stacks,” she wrote her name again, this time writing each letter over the previous, so in the end it was more like an absurd logo. “But nothing more.”“If those are simpler, then I have no idea what the complex ones are,” Skasis admitted. “Did you have to solve ones like those, Pewds?”“Yes, sometimes. But those related to numbers and labyrinths were more frequent. There are lots of empty room blocks out there,” Pewds waved his hand to the side, “and I had to search for… hidden eggs?.. there.”Skasis walked along the longer wall, searching for anything sensible. Sometimes familiar phrases or chunks of them could be spotted. “Winter is coming”. “I don’t give a damn.” “I see you.” “Elementary.” “Fantastic.” “I’ve heard those phrases like a million times from various members of other clans,” Tardis said and pointed at the first one. “They use ones like this as greetings.”Having recalled his success with reading a note that had been complete gibberish for the rest of his pals after the first transformation, Skasis stubbornly continued studying the word and letter patterns, but to no avail. Pewds and Tardis did not achieve anything either.A distant roar of laughter, followed by almost soundless ‘I – hate – them’ from Pewds, approved that they were going round in circles. Finally Skasis’s patience ran out, even though he felt as if he was about to cheat.“No worries, I’m still on your side,” he stated, preparing for the worst. Even though he had made sure that Tardis and Pewds were not his foes, he still believed they could react in any possible way, including not the best options.“Skasis?.. What are you doing?” Pewds asked.“Here goes nothing… K-ASHER!”At first it seemed to Skasis that the surroundings, including his pals in misery, shrunk, but then he looked down, saw his uncharacteristically broad shoulders clad in purple and understood that it worked. In addition the purple section of his device flashed on.“Stop iiiit,” he droned, suppressing his laughter at the sight of dumbfounded Pewds. “I’m not used to this either…” He touched his face and was pleasantly relieved to make sure he hadn’t grown any facial hair (he didn’t want to make sure if it was green like the rest of it).“So all those rubbish tales are true?” Pewds choked out, protectively placing his hands on Tardis’s shoulders.“They’re fictional, but there were times when they predicted stuff,” Skasis shrugged. “No worries, my puny self will return pretty soon… Can you give me some space? Time to make sure that this form has some perks besides height.” He walked around a bit, getting used to this strange new body.This time Skasis’s brain switched on by itself: it began offering various combinations of words on the walls, but none of them made any sense, so he had to close his eyes with his hands not to go blind at least. Skasis Paradigm, he thought to himself and removed his hands from his face, although didn’t open his eyes. There were no patterns as those about which Tardis had told him or half-letters. Only whole ones, completely chaotic… Skasis looked at the wall once more, this time forbidding himself to pay attention to the random combos. If there is an exit, there should be a hint, if any logic stayed in this insane world…“Anything?” Tardis meekly asked.“Nothing,” Skasis replied, disappointed. “There isn’t anything, Tardis. At least regarding what you said… Come on, there has to be a reason why you were given this form, Skasis Fane! Wild Card, dammitall!..”“Card? Did you say card?” Tardis suddenly asked.“Yes, I did. It should’ve been my superhero name, but now it seems…”“Cards,” Tardis repeated. “What are cards? Those pictures showing the world and hung on the walls?”“N-no, Tardis, those are maps,” Skasis corrected.“Harkness was drawing on the walls after he returned from the challenge,” Tardis informed. “He was repeating: cards, cards, cards. You sure?”“I am,” Skasis nodded. “What was he drawing?”“Scrawls. Not even letters, scrawls… Remember, Pewds, you showed me the ancient pictures of the world?”“Yes. There were ways shown on them,” Pewds approved. “Hand-drawn ways. From one point to another.”From one point to another… Faint hope appeared in Skasis’s soul as he recalled the point-connecting puzzles. Only his idea was that those were not points here, but letters!.. His mind immediately reacted with showing pictures of connecting the same letters on the wall, but then he fell down to earth again: no patterns could be spotted among those. It was more of a web made by a drunk spider (to put it lightly), no matter which letter he took as points to be connected.“Pffff… It’s not working, guys. Total mess, nothing more.”“What if those are not letters, but words?” Pewds supposed. “Look, they’re all from various sources. I mean… what if we connect ones from the same source?”“It could work, Pewds!” Skasis approved, hiding his being upset with himself that such easy ideas had not occurred to him earlier. But then another reason to be upset appeared. “Erm… how are we going to recognize which phrase belongs to which source?”Pewds made up an oh-you-idiot expression:“Are you talking to me? You haven’t grown in this world! As a bad apple, I had to do something at least to get noticed by the genuine members of my clan. And learning the mottos and phrases of each clan was one of the easiest ways! Leave it to me!”“You just have to tell me the correct sources, I’ll remember,” Skasis said aloud and begged to himself that his brain wouldn’t get stuck in midway.For the first time Pewds’s face was brightened up with… no, it was not a smile, it was a distant shade of it, but still contrasting with his constant gloomy mask. It was more of triumph than of joy. Then he turned to the wall, and his long finger traced along the phrases, both distinguishable and not:“Game of Thrones… Gravity Falls… Supernatural… Adventure Time…”“Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, wait a minute, wait a minute! How do you know?” Skasis shot out, having noticed that Pewds labeled the ‘hing, Jo’ chunk as ‘Game of Thrones’.“Bah! Wake me in the middle of the night, and I’ll tell you which fragment belongs to which source!” Pewds snapped. “And fonts are important as well… Sherlock-Supernatural-Fran Bow-Undertale…” he went on at insane speed before wheezing and stopping to catch his breath. Tardis understood and caught up.Not less than twenty minutes passed before the vision was clear before Skasis’s eyes: the words from the same sources formed human shapes in various poses which he immediately attempted to recreate.“Erm… Skasis… what are you doing?” Tardis asked, observing his motions.“Do these gestures have specific meaning in your world?” Skasis asked in return, stretching his right arm and bending the left one so that the shoulder was pressed to his side and the forearm was pointing forward. Tardis tapped at the bottom of her mask:“What are the other ones?”Skasis lowered his arms, standing straight, then put his right leg to the side and his right hand on his hip. “Okay…” Pewds stated cautiously.The next gesture was similar to the first, but with putting the right leg forward. Then Tardis snapped her fingers:“Got it! Those are letters! A codeword or something! Do them again, Skasis, do them again!”Skasis obeyed, his mind gears creaking with the absence of logic. No wonder: maybe he would’ve realized it sooner if he could take a detached view of himself.“F-I-R-E A-N-D B-L-O-O-D,” Tardis spelled, following Skasis’s movements. “Fire and blood, fire and blood… This is the greeting of one of those Throne clans, I guess the strictest one.”“Which?” Skasis asked.“Tarren… Targo… geez, I can’t even spell its name.” Tardis spread her hands. “And what do we have to do with it? None of us would fit its standards.”Skasis rubbed his chin, trying to figure out the next step.“And what are the greetings of your clans?”“Like and subscribe,” Pewds replied.“Doctor Who?” Tardis added.“No, I don’t think it’s gonna work. I mean, this room was designed not specifically for your clan members, but for anybody… Where’s the pop culture expert when she’s needed?” Skasis groaned. “Bet Erfin would’ve cracked this puzzle in no time… What other greetings are there?”Pewds began counting on his fingers:“Winter is coming… Hear me roar… We do not sow… Ours is the fury… Elementary… Trust no one… Everybody lies…”“Is that a motto list or a conspiracy theory script?” Now Skasis was so irritated that he couldn’t keep himself from commenting. “I’ve got a feeling that these greetings won’t get us anywhere. Greetings, greetings… What other attributes do clans have? Flags, maybe?”“I don’t know about flags, but there are coats of arms,” Tardis answered. “Ours is the blue police box on the black starry background.”“The coat of arms of those who use the Fire and Blood greeting is a three-headed dragon, and there are three of us,” Pewds supposed. “Nah, it’s not gonna work. There are only words here…”Skasis examined the walls once again, attempting to find any other patterns on the mad map of sources which was now burnt into his brain. This didn’t work either, for the only patterns were the letter-forming silhouettes. Words, words, three words…“Goodness’s sake, I’m an idiot. That couldn’t be simpler,” Skasis said aloud. “I think we need to find those three words in this chaos. All other words should repeat themselves, but those three… although ‘and’ is a widespread one… Scan those two walls, and I’ll take the widest one, okay? Or no. I’ll do it myself. There’s still no use of me other than this.”“I don’t think so,” Pewds hummed.The sped-up mind quickly distinguished the required words. And indeed, they were located on some kind of flat buttons – almost indistinguishable from pieces of paper glued to the wall to the touch. Most primitive mechanism disguised as a grandiose riddle, Skasis thought. How ironic.
Aliens and Villains
Sontaran Doodle by Marc137
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Twice Upon A Time by Marc137
50th Anniversary
Wibbly Wobbly Timey Whimey Too by Calypso1977
13th Doctor
Doctor Who - Thirteen at LFCC 2018 I by ArwendeLuhtiene

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Deviants

Russell The Davies has come out in saying he never thought the revived series would go beyond 1 season, and after that he intended to write the gay tv series he currently working on.
I'm sure some may think "yes, it should have stopped" but it got me thinking.

Doctor who nearly never happened.

It could have stopped at Chris, we'd never have gotten David or Matt or Peter, and certainly not John Hurt. What ever your feelings towards each doctor or season, more than likely your favourite episode, character, monster, doctor, companian or even tardis nearly never existed.

It's been 10 years since the shows revival, and thank my lucky stars Russell decided to continue because other wise I would never have had Doctor who in my life. It really put the whole show in perspective for me, that while a whovian does love to pick apart the good, the bad and the ugly of Doctor who, without it there would be a pretty big whole in the Internet right about now.

What do you think? Does the enjoyment outweigh the complaining, or should Russell have just stopped at serean 1?
Who was a better show runner, who had better stand alone episodes and who has better cliff hangers, and who was just better over all?

Russell T Davies or Steven Moffat

I think that both are equally good show runners as both have big shoes to fill, Russell had to bring it back and Moffat has to keep it going, the only difference is Moffat has the harder job these days as he has the Internet analysing the crap out of his episodes, where as Russell didn't get that when he started. Russell accidentally re created a pop culture for the 21st century where as moffat now has to keep that alive.
And as for stand alone episodes I would say moffat is in the lead with that, blink, asylum of the daleks, Christmas carol, I'm sure there's more, Russell however while he has one of my favourite Midnight, stuff like turn left or the next doctor, I don't know I feel moffat is coming out ahead
And as for cliff hangers I definitely believe Russell was the lesser of two evils, however he could never carry them out, every time he had a fantastic cliff hanger where the bad guy obviously won, he'd just undo it with some kinda magical explanation, where as Moffat can carry out a cliff hanger, his cliff hangers aren't that shocking or life threatening, and as well he always finishes a two parter with another cliff hanger so that can get annoying.


So over all who do you think is better, who is the lesser of two evil or who do think is just better of the two?
It was awful, Peter CapOLDIE is such an asshole to everyone he talks to, it's as if the doctor has now forgotten what's it's like to be nice at all, he's just Malcolm Tucker in the TARDIS. And a female time lord, what a load of shit. Worst idea ever to turn a male time lord into a female time lord, especially the master. And Clara talk about annoying, she's learns nothing throughout the whole series, no character development whatso ever in this series from any character. And why in the F*#k does the Doctor use the consol room as his work area, he has a whole world of a tardis in the back room. And the worst episode by far was Listen. I mean showing the doctor is actually just a cry baby, ruin our hero why don't you Moffat. The best part though was when Osgood got what was coming to her, and Danny, both of em annoying as hell. God I've given up on this show!




UPDATE:
Disagree with me?
Of course you do, this is a harsh review, with little to no evidence to support anything I've just said.
This is to get a rise out of fans. Prove me wrong. Defend the show and Capaldi. People don't like telling you things, but that love to contradict you.
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