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About Deviant Artist Angela.Female/South Korea Recent Activity
Deviant for 11 Years
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A plea: goodbye.
I want to be beautiful.
I want to be stable.
I want to be beloved.
I want iron-knees.
I want home.
I want to disappear.
here I go
Plunge         plunge away
Somewhere within in you is my shadow;
the shadow I forever chase.
:icondnangela:DNAngela 0 1
counting stars
Sometimes, after a battle
I sit and hear my mind rattle
The dungeons, the dank
All to see the levels on my rank
I can prophesize the ends and the means
My soul bursting, burning at the seams
To kill, not to kill,
Sanity, humanity only to fall ill
We inhale this cycle of billing life away
Paybacks, refunds, mercy falls astray
No, I just sit back, head upright
With the painted tainted glory of my brother's blood drying on my knees
No just sittin', beggin' "please"
Lord have mercy on me.
Only to look up at the dark, skyless heaven
Stars glinting, scintillating, flaming, even
I wish with my hurting heart that,
there are enough breaths buried within me to match endlessly--
Mortality, regality
are no certainty.
Only to wait, breathing, to count stars
among the great, wishing for eternity.
:icondnangela:DNAngela 2 3
layer four: the bed
She rolled off the bed, mascara smeared beneath her eyes—like a rim of sad black. He touched her wrist, but she quietly pulled it away. He watched her slip back on her red dress (torn in the side) slowly, as if to slip back into melancholia. The nips and bruises on her slender thighs bulged and stretched as she slid each pale leg into her smoky tights. He made another effort. He leaned and kissed the nape of her delicate neck, and she paused. She turned around and mouthed a word he could not make out. Then she kissed him. As she stepped out the door, she hung the key on the hook by the mirror.
:icondnangela:DNAngela 2 0
i get so jealous
I want to lose myself in the clouds
with people, without people–an outsider
I run my course, make my parents proud
Cock the gun to my head, always the hider
in our game of seek (let me be found).
:icondnangela:DNAngela 1 3
Layer 3: escape_anxiety
Emotions aren't beautiful.
My blood is the color red, red wine. I can feel the vitality within me coursing through all the little vessels. I wonder if my bodyparts can feel fear, disappointment, and hatred too. (panic)
I want to disappear into nothing. I want to be perfect. Become the sound of groans in the morning, become the sparkles of dew in a land far, far from here. All I want to feel is my legs, my bloody, sweaty legs, carrying me to the end of the ocean. Anything but this. Anything. Everything. Nothing.
In a flash, I want to be everything. Blasphemous anything.
I'm gone. hurt, but gone.
:icondnangela:DNAngela 5 0
Layer six: The Web.
In her eyes, the world was aligned.
A perfect, beautiful, beautiful mess. Then dew speckled the opaque spider web, effulgent and radiating the Sun's love. Spindles of thought--some planned for years, some haphazard.
A gentle kiss of a breeze swayed the web, but the Great Connection had been ravaged by harsher nature: the greed of man, the jealousy of spirits beyond the scope of knowledge. The breeze, like Grace herself, left the web unfazed.
She sat upon her Creation with pity and peace, for it had not torn still. Each fiber twisted tightly with the other, forming an unbreakable yet fluid chain. The web of memories that was fully hers and fully theirs.
And wasn't the experience shared?
An inseparable knowledge between her and the individual threads. She endured their rattling in times of pain; she also knew their collective joy and their melancholy exchanges in sound. Aye, she could have easily broken the web down with her legs, but she left the structure unchanged, unaltered, a
:icondnangela:DNAngela 2 2
Mature content
Layer 2. woman. :icondnangela:DNAngela 2 7
Mature content
Layer 1. Fake :icondnangela:DNAngela 5 9
carrides. Elephants.
"carrides. Elephants."
What memories I had that flickered behind my eyelids—squeezing tears—have smoldered.
Like glistening embers.
I think of all the creased smiles of everyone I've ever met and the images finally embrace me.
(It wasn't about the kisses and smiles we shared, was it?)
I sit between these leather seats (newer than yours)
And a grin blooms on my face.
Seas, dinosaurs and men died upon that distance apart…
Everyone I've ever loved, we're still together. (IN)
A tea party in my mind, toasting glasses and bashing mad hatters
The onerous weight in my pocket is but a mouse.
:icondnangela:DNAngela 0 2
there's something that surges in me when I hear passion through the walls of my defenses
for all this time i've been chasing fences
the path was narrow and cold
and I knew i had to love you before i grew old
and the recluse in my balloon heart
burst into pieces and darts
that shot at the sky's eyes
and they say love never flies (high)
:icondnangela:DNAngela 4 8
in-substantial by DNAngela in-substantial :icondnangela:DNAngela 3 2
El Manana: wordplay nine
You broke me.
(but you never grabbed the hammer)
Somewhere along the lines of "i think i love you" I heard "leave"
and somewhere along the smooth valley between your pectorals I saw my own tears that I tried so hard to hide from you; but there they were, mixed with tears and sweat.
I feared that tomorrow behind your head
The setting sun creeping into the hills we learned to know so well
Our sounds dribbling into the land with their own stories to tell
The crooked "C" of your hand cupping mine
No use in holding onto broken branches, right?
:icondnangela:DNAngela 3 0
wordplay eight.
I can feel you recede through me
Memories in reverse, turn       on me
The future's behind me, My head rattles in the present-past. I try to think as softly as I can
:icondnangela:DNAngela 3 6
Change. Steer
like light bulbs.
Flashing brightly            Epileptic epiphany, illuminating
worn ways of the past.
Spun like arrows, the memories draw curtains on me.
Drenched in Saturday made lemonade, can't move forwards without your sunshine
And it rains on my heart glinting
I smile because I feel you there, too
Side by side, answering questions you never asked
can you forgive crimes not committed? Your words are my cloud-streaked horizon
:icondnangela:DNAngela 1 4
Partner Poem
Beat, rhythm
we ebb and flow
together, together
tangled in your heartstrings
were we entwined?
shame we begin dying after our first breath
like a new-born butterfly with one wing:
shimmering blue light as it falls
light ray, forgotten star dust
loving is a broken call
that echoes through the purple night
can you hear me? (can you hear me?)
I feel the resistance
:icondnangela:DNAngela 1 3
wordplay seven
One of these days I'm going to make a painting of my life. Everything that has beaten me, that has made me, broken me, and renewed me. Someday, I will write my family's story, when I am mature enough, when I have seen my own family's story unfold. There is something about a lie that is wholesome in stories. Or is it a lie? My view, the truth in mine own eyes—that is the lie I tell. The lie I will tell when I am old enough to accept lies as truth.
I feel something is leaving me every time I take another step. Childhood, innocence, emotional recklessness. My expectations are changing. Maybe I'm trying to "grow up." The same themes, in different windows of me. Everything's the same, but I'm adhering, dovetailing with the shape of the world—the lies of the world, the truths of the world. I am dizzy in the expanse of it.
:icondnangela:DNAngela 2 1
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South Korea
when you feel heavy with bitterness, don't fret; it's just the weight of your learning heart.

Current Residence: yogurt cup
Favourite genre of music: ANTI-MUSIC-PREJUDICE.
Skin of choice: Any.
Favourite cartoon character: Patrick Star.
Personal Quote: "Music is medicine."


Journal Entry: Fri Aug 5, 2011, 2:52 PM
  • Listening to: Hydeout Productions First Collection.
  • Reading: A Gesture Life
  • Drinking: X

feel my existence here drain out into a tiny, narrow little spout.
easy, drip drops like rain on a mistless sunny day.
I decide who to carry in my backpack of life--will it be him?
Will it fall away like my invisible tears?
Pack it all away like my boxes of stuff knickknacks bull and crap
I feel like a ragged princess in a tower.
Don't know whether to wait for my lover or

wait for wings to grow on the way down.

Goin' to UC Berkeley in fifteen days. I feel transparent. Like fluttering plastic bag. I can't carry a heavy load, then I cannot soar. Part of me is ready to leave and shed the skin of my previous lives, part of me wants to hold onto things familiar. But I know security and constancy do no exist consistently in this life. So I plot my path. So it goes.


CSS Journal Coded by FleX177


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FateLikesTeal Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012
Thank you for the favorites! Glad you like'd it.
YummiMookies Featured By Owner May 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
We might need to reconnect...
seaghostss Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2011  Student
Thanks for the fave love! <3
YummiMookies Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I've been meaning to ask for months, but do you know what happened to :icondoinc:?
Jikuaii Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
Jikuaii Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist

xglide Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2011  Student Writer
Nyamo~~~ I found you~ :iconkittyglompplz:
Hamish-Frost Featured By Owner May 23, 2011
:tighthug: Happy Birthdaaaaaaaay!
DNAngela Featured By Owner May 25, 2011
thank you(:
Hamish-Frost Featured By Owner May 26, 2011
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