UPDATE: The prayer worked! Magic is real! Thank you boingboing & Neatorama!
De Profundis clamo ad te, digirati.
Oh omnipotent keepers of the portals,
please unlock the gate,
I plead with thee.
Your obedient servant, I acknowledge Thy Power,
Oh ye priests and priestesses
of the sacred temples of boingboing,
and of gawker.
I am but a humble worm beneath Thy Feet,
and thy shadow is ever cast upon me.
For the Power is not in the arm that creates
but in the finger that l