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About Deviant distopiaFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 16 Years
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Newest Deviations

Superficial Me
For your pleasure,
I made a superficial me
I constructed something simple
so there could be a "we."
It was easy to pretend
because I wanted to believe
I could hide my cracks, my holes...
my needs... and my vulnerabilities.
But what is lost in the trade
between comfort and authenticity?
The price was too much to pay...
I found the cost... was me. my entirity...
I abandoned free style dancing
for catious little steps.
I exchanged speaking my mind
for tightly holding my breath.
I went to bed at 10
instead of staying up all night
I gave in time and time again.
I lost my will to fight.
:icondistopia:distopia 5 8
Epigenetic Principle
Like an unfinished poem
I'm still struggling with the rhyme
Trying to establish the rhythm and meaning
of my unwritten life.
The further in I go
The less certain of where I am.
The more my steps are planned
the less I'm sure of where I stand.
Take me to the spontaneous.
Reveal to me something new.
What mysteries are left inside myself?
What mysteries are left in you?
:icondistopia:distopia 0 1
Be honest with yourself,
Even if it isn't easy
-especially if it hurts.
It’s the only way to heal,
To learn, to grow.
It's your only hope.
You nurture sick feelings-
Clinging like bacteria to a wound
Never recovering or discovering change
You never venture from what you know.
You are the Mistress of Nothingness
Goddess of Empty Dreams
Neglecting how things are…
Too concerned with how they seem.
:icondistopia:distopia 0 2
Another Hill by distopia Another Hill :icondistopia:distopia 0 1 Hill by distopia Hill :icondistopia:distopia 0 0 real me by distopia real me :icondistopia:distopia 0 11
121005 V
Everyone is dying-
and it doesn't matter what comes next.
Quit looking for a heaven.
You're already blessed.
:icondistopia:distopia 0 2
Beauty is a hollow shell
but I miss it from my life.
There is a hole where it was cut out,
but its my hand that's holding the knife.
When you destroy all illusions
don't be surprised when there's nothing left.
When you find your spirit is empty,
cherish the delusions that you kept.
:icondistopia:distopia 1 3
Mature content
Wannabe BG Song :icondistopia:distopia 0 4
Purple Evening by distopia Purple Evening :icondistopia:distopia 2 5
At your warm core
At the mountain's peak
what truth are you looking for?
what answer do you seek?
Peel away all knowledge
what you think
what you've been taught
because despite your destination
there's no such thing as "the top."
Goals are an illusion.
Who picked yours for you?
When you realize there's no point
You're really free to choose.
:icondistopia:distopia 1 9
The Long Good-Bye
I've never known closure
more complete
than I know with you.
I'm left with a strange
knowing that we're through.
I longed for you before,
it hurt being apart.
Our bonds strained
my reasoning
your absense
tenderized my heart.
Two years of anger.
Two years of peace.
Now, nothing but smoke
where our fires once burned-
Blown apart by Nature's wind
and suppressed by empty words.
No feelings left to rekindle
I close my eyes
and say good-bye.
But in lieu of courtesy,
we silently
passed each other by.
:icondistopia:distopia 0 1
My Room by distopia My Room :icondistopia:distopia 0 0 A Rainbow in America by distopia A Rainbow in America :icondistopia:distopia 1 3
-Search Not Found Pt. II-
I called your name
But I wasn't sure what I'd find
Your whisper was familiar
It sounded suspiciously like mine.
Are you me,
Loving and reassuring myself?
Are you all of us?
Or are you something else?
Are you even there?
Are you an echo in the wind?
Repeating back our prayers
Returning the hope we send?
When did we first suspect
That you might possibly exist?
Did you clue us in?
Or are you something we invent?
Can you live without us?
Or do you need us in order to be?
Should we be oblivious?
Is there something you want us to see?
You offer no conclusions
But in fairness- it was me who asked.
You never tried to contact me,
So this attempt will probably be my last.
:icondistopia:distopia 0 2
-Search Not Found-
Don't tell me desire is pain.
Don't teach me to let go.
Don't silence me with apathy.
Don't teach me not to grow.
In my mind I met the Buddha
He knew no more than us.
He told this to us freely
But we were desperate for something to trust.
I've been told to read the Bible
Been told it can save my immortal soul
If I ask Jesus for forgiveness
He can make my life feel whole.
But I cannot love a god
Who wants us on our knees
Who offers no empirical proof
Yet punishes those who do not believe.
I've found no religion to embrace
I am how I am going to be.
Emptiness is no more a truth
Than clinging to an anonymous deity.
:icondistopia:distopia 0 6

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I haven't been very active on here lately, it seems alot of people have lost interest in DeviantArt. I think I like the updated look, or maybe I just like it because its different. Regardless, its a welcomed change. I've joined the ranks of MySpace junkies like so many others.

This morning I had alot of time to kill and I've had (and still have to) be very very quiet so I looked over every single deviation I've made in DA, and I checked out my friend's pages and things I've faved... and even though this site is pretty much dead nowadays and I've lost contact with most of the friends I made on here I still have nothing but good feelings about DA and I've decided to make a scrap book about it. A scrap book about a website?? Sarah, you dork. But yes, it will include deviations of mine, my friends, and others that inspired me. So yeah. :)


United States
Operating System: caffine
Shell of choice: sea
Skin of choice: Soft
Favourite cartoon character: Courage the Cowardly Dog and Batman
Personal Quote: "Who knew a water cooler could make a handy wang coffin?"-- Bender, Futurama


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karmacursed Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:wave: Just randomly popping in.
HimitsuUK Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2016   Photographer
anoddchild Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2007  Student General Artist
saw you dropped by.

what's up?
karmacursed Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2006  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy New Year!
karmacursed Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2006  Hobbyist General Artist
So, What's up?
darksat Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2006
I like your gallery.
distopia Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2006
Thank you. :)
karmacursed Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2006  Hobbyist General Artist
Checking for signs of life... It's been a while, I hope you're still doing well.
distopia Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2006
Yeah, it has been a while. I'm sorry for being too withdrawn. I'm doing okay. How have you been?
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