Hey there, hi there, ho there people of today and robots of tomorrow!
It's me, CK!
Sorry for the long absense, but something just caught my attention that has set the Disney fan community ablaze like Prince John's castle at the end of Robin Hood. Or like the forest during that one segment in Fantasia 2000. Or a barbed brush after Maleficent's dragon breathed all over it. You get the idea, people are not happy, for good reason might I add. We've all heard of the new Disney Genie addition coming to the Disney Parks app, though none of us expecting what all it would include. We now know. We now hate it.,
Now admittedly, some functions on this app do seem helpful, such as helping you create custom itineraries or the addition of a Disney PhotoPass filter for your phones, that's actually pretty cool. The problem is, all of this is bundled with other cool features that you now must pay extra for, including a new version of FastPass that costs $15 per person. Per ride. Were you excited to ride Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin? Sucks to be you if you can't afford a Lightning Pass. What a load of crap. What's worse is that this isn't even Bob Chapek's first attempt to squeeze money out of the absorbent sponge that is the Disney Parks. Opening alongside the rest of Avenger's Campus earlier this year was the new Toy Story Mania-style ride themed around the web-head called WEB SLINGERS: A Spider-Man Adventure. Now being the major Spider-Man and Imagineering fan that I am, I expected a match made in heaven. Much like the MCU Spider-Man movies, I was left equally empty and disappointed.,
For the sake of being fair, I will admit that I haven't actually ridden this attraction yet, only watching it through YouTube videos such as this. But I've also seen Universal's Spider-Man ride via YouTube as well, and I can tell you that Universal ran circles around Disney when it came to designing an amazing attraction centered around the world's greatest superhero. It featured sensational music, epic special effects, all of Spidey's classic rogues, not to mention a healthy helping of Peter's quirky quips. It is the perfect Spider-Man experience. As apposed to this mess that has ONE enemy type, no music, and a lack of Tom Holland's humor. Oh, but it gets worse. Unlike similar rides like Toy Story Mania or Buzz Lightyear's Astroblasters, you can purchase a web shooter or arc reactor at the nearby gift shop that'll help you rack up more points. Yes my friends, this ride features pay to win gaming tactics you'd expect in EA or Mobile games. WHAT. THE. HECK!?!
Mr. Chapek, I had high hopes for you, I honestly did. I was hoping that you'd usher in a new golden age at Disney that would stop relying on the money-hungry tactics Bob Iger used during the later half of his tenure. But no, you've made them so much worse. Between charging people $30 to watch theatrical releases on Disney+ when HBO Max offers their theatrical releases for free, to imploying pay to win tactics on a game where everyone should be on an equal playing field, to this crappy little app, your money hungry tactics are making Bob Iger's schemes look subtle in comparison. Heck, you've made Scrooge McDuck look generous. There is no way Robin Williams isn't rolling around in his grave right now over what you're doing with his character. Screw this app and screw you as well!
...But I digress. What do you guys think of this new app or Bob 2's run as Disney CEO thus far? Leave your thoughts below!,