Chapter 16 of fanfic Harry Potter & The Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong [link]
Zombie Quirell in the front class.
Harry & Draco conversing :
Draco :"Potter? What are you doing in this class?"
Harry : "Draco? What are you doing in oh my god you have minions."
Draco : "Potter, I introduce to you Mr. Crabbe, Mr. Goyle. Vincent, Gregory, this is Harry Potter."
Crabbe : "Please to meetcha" in a tone that sounded like he was trying to lower his voice as far as it could go.
Harry : "You have minions! Where do I get minions?"
Draco : "I'm afraid, Potter, that step one is to be Sorted into Slytherin -"