Diana-Huang's avatar
I, Robot
12 7 1K (1 Today)
By Diana-Huang   |   Watch
Published: March 23, 2010
© 2010 - 2019 Diana-Huang
Was thinking about "In Repair"[link] by John Mayer

"How can you be stressed? You're an artist!" I make art because I am stressed and my mind is burdened with naggings I need to get out into the open.

People need to understand... chasing "impossible" dreams takes its toll... 30 years of bearing externally and internally inflicted stress and the sacrificing of things average people wouldn't give up on to maintain focus... including health... its easy to ignore health when heart, passion & fears is pushing... what is beyond the horizon can't come fast enough!!

But December was the month everything just collided for me. It was such an emotional and physical roller-coaster... Five, six, seven things happening within the span of 2 weeks... moments of ecstatic joy, another moment incredible stress, confusion, fury, disappointments and back again and again... giving my emotional subroutines whiplash.

I couldn't process all the information and emotions swirling inside my neural net that my emotion chip simply fried and shut down. My brain was literally a blank for a week or two... its a good thing the work load has died down... as you see, I've been spending this time trying to relax... and really process everything... figuring out what I really want and start repairing the damage inflicted on myself.

I do wish I was an android like Data sometimes... add a new improved battery pack... or just plug me into an outlet... new RAM chips and a bigger hard drive is what I'd like. Shut off the emotion chip when emotions get in the way... no need to eat... no need to sleep... work work work. But, I'm not... its hard to be human... on top of that one who is trying to function beyond its original programming.

I don't regret any of the choices I've made... its simply a waiting game for me at this point. I thank everyone who has chimed in to support me! Everyone, every little bit... has helped to carry me this far.
Image size
800x1213px 1.22 MB
IMAGE DETAILS
Make
Canon
Model
Canon PowerShot SD500
Shutter Speed
1/101 second
Aperture
F/2.8
Focal Length
8 mm
Date Taken
Mar 21, 2010, 5:38:19 PM
Comments7
anonymous's avatar
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the-mad-hatter87's avatar
the-mad-hatter87Student General Artist
I love this analogy! :idea:
Diana-Huang's avatar
Diana-HuangProfessional General Artist
Aren't we all creatures trying to be more than our original programming? Thanks! :)
Leanbb's avatar
LeanbbHobbyist General Artist
AMAZIIIIIIIIIIING!

totally faving this
Diana-Huang's avatar
Diana-HuangProfessional General Artist
Glad you like! :)
DJFlat's avatar
DJFlatHobbyist Photographer
I know the feeling all too well, it's easy to fall into overload and the whole world become one gigantic nightmare.

It's this time when we really need someone who understands what we are going through.

You have helped me, now I will help you.

If you ever want someone to talk to, just let me know
Diana-Huang's avatar
Diana-HuangProfessional General Artist
Thank you so much!
DJFlat's avatar
DJFlatHobbyist Photographer
Your welcome
anonymous's avatar
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