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Jurassic Park is frightening in the Dark ...

By devilkais
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Since I was a kid , I was fascinated by dinosaurs, snakes etc... So you bet that I know of Jurassic Park ! I guess I'll have to give my 2 cents about each one of them . Well I said that I loved the whole Alien Quadrilogy (YES ! Even Resurrection is a lot of fun due to how different it was from its predecessors !). But is that true for our misnamed trilogy here ? (And yes, I do mean misnamed . Most of the resurrected dinosaurs are from the cretaceous anyway...) Let us start then . [link]


Adapted from Michael Crichton's novel (which is freaking excellent despite its emphasis on technophobia. And while I am neutral when it comes to the whole technology VS nature debate or even Crichton's use of his novels as vehicles to his own opinions (I never paid attention to that ), I will admit that the novel was much better. Well he added dinosaurs to butcher people so you pipe down kids ! But I will tell you why I love it despite having discovered it only 2 years ago...), this is the hugest phenomenon back in 1993 before being dethroned bby Titanic ... God knows why , I personally do not understand either.

Alan Grant (played by the very good Sam Neill. Also a worthy candidate to play Mr Sinister but that is another story...) is a dinosaur expert who is called to a remote Pacific island with his colleague Ellie Sattler and Chaos theorist Ian Malcom (Jeff Goldblum... who is fucking awesome. Naysayers take a hike to hell , he plays his part perfectly but more on that later...) by billionaire John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) to give a fresh perspective on his new theme park and appease his anxious investors . The theme park turns out to be a dinosaur zoo ! HOWEVER Park computer specialist Dennis Nedry (Wayne Knight) sabotages the security in order to smuggle dino embryos to the competition... and the MAAAAAADNESS SPREADS ... more or less actually .

Let us start with the good:
The photography is great and it definitely knew how to show us the dinos as realistic as possible . The suspense of course works to the film's advantage. The Brachiosaurs and the sick Triceratops were the mere appetisers before hell truly breaks loose. And even then, the introduction to the carnivors is well done (the bovine feast to the "Velociraptors" ? A delight along the description by the excellent Robert Muldoon , played by an unfortunately underused Bob Peck (R.I.P).)
The Tyrannosaurus Rex first appearance on-screen was simply beautiful both in sound and imagery.(though she is less fearsome than the novel rex...)
The Dilophosaurus surprised EVERYONE the first time around.
And The Deinonychus? (too big to be Velociraptors...too small to be Utahraptors. To me they are much closer to resurrected Deinonychus Antirrhopus in size and design. In the book, Grant describes the velociraptor species as “antirrhopus,” which is actually the species of deinonychus.) They are the revelations of this flick. Smooth,medium-sized, vicious and expressive they just are some of the best effects ever made.
The score by John Williams is simply fantastic , whether for the majestuous scenes or the "darker" ones ...
See how I avoid using the word dark around ? Because it is the movie's major flaw: The cloyingness ! I did not mind so much as a kid, but as an adult, I fell that its flaws would make for a great Looney Tunes or Tiny Toons Parody !

It had all the ingredients to be one the best horror movies of all time but it is deliberately designed to be a blockbuster that is as marketable as possible. And with the exception of Grant, Malcolm or Muldoon , the other characters are as caricatural as possible : Hammond was so jolly he could have been in a carebears movie (a businessman THIS cuddly ? Now this is pure fiction.), Ellie is okayish (though the novel did depict her as yummier ! What ?). The kids...oh boy, is this my pet peeve. Kids are practically immortal here and I swear it can be problematic when they do the dumbest things. Tim is somewhat bearable (when he does not talk , but then again, kids are obnoxious when they are excited.) BUT Lex ... [link] ...Okay she gets a pass even though she did one of the stupidest things in all movies .Besides she gets points for surpassing her novel counterpart who really makes you wish for children dying in horror flicks.

Jurassic Park is a good film that brought a revolution in the way we view cinema and dinosaurs, but it is lacking. After watching it, I feel that my sadistic apetites have not been fulfilled, a mere crouton for my carnivorous palate. But this will be solved with the first movie I ever saw with my uncle and my cousin in cinema...


Set four years after the Isla Nublar incident, Ian Malcolm is forced by John Hammond to confront the dinos once more on Isla Sorna (or Site B), the place where InGen bred the animals before moving them to Jurassic Park. The InGen board have taken control of the company and prepare to move the dinos to the mainland.

Not as good as the first.... IT SURPASSES THE FIRST BY A MILE ! This goddamn movie is a fucking BEAST !

Yes ladies and gents , this is the best of the JP movies. I asked for feral theropods , action , bleakness, brutality , grim and gritty and it delivered !
Is it perfect ? No , there are some scenes that were unfortunately cut (a shame for the raptors devouring the ship crew....) and the great suspense the first movie used to its advantage is mostly absent. THOUGH, it does something its older brother failed to do : bringing the atmosphere that made the spicy taste of the first novel (yes we will talk about it , I promise .) and despite having a completely different plot. For all the cutesiness the first one gave, this one brings us death, wanton destruction and even the greatest, cruelest and most tragic kill in the whole franchise [link] . Epic, I tell you !

The other good points are that we get to see the dinos at their meanest and at their near-full potential (Yeah, because the annoying limit of "children can't die" is still there, making the first sequence's bite less effective, but Spielberg shows his darker humor...and it works !):
- The Procompsognathus definitely anounce the movie's tone and their killing scene is just fantastic, going from a rather funny first phase to a downright horrific final one. Even the music at that point became freaky. (John Williams at his finest !). I will admit I was disappointed they did not get to eat the little girl at the beginning BUT hey , at least they got to attack her (Lunch is ready as mommy would say !) ! Those little bastards are that creepy and effective at their job
- THESE T-REX are the ones that make me yell HELL YEEEAAAAHHH ! And thank you Mr Rex for eating the dog in San Diego, that was ballsy ... actually , thank you for the whole San Diego rampage it was one of the best homages to King Kong (albeit with a better creature, apes just do not compare to the splendor of theropods.)
- The long grass scene... Easily the greatest "Raptor" sequence of all ! It just never gets old ! Hell , I do prefer the more aggressive Deinonychus we see here to the calmer ones you see in the first (seriously ? How long do you need to get Tim and Lex again ? The ones of Isla Sorna don't fuck around !)

As for the characters themselves well they are more or less okay, but I am not watching these movies for them... I am here for the dinos and the action dammit ! Just in case you're thinking that this movie is pro-animal rights... NO it is not, it was never meant to be ! I admit that most of them aren't all that interesting.
The exceptions being Ian Malcolm and Roland Tembo. Ian here was not only more cynical than before but also more fleshed out (Kelly may be the only kid that I found bearable in the whole franchise. At least we get glimpses of how chaotic the life of a chaos theorist is.) And I really don't get the problem with Ian. Seriously people ! Grant is not cynical enough to fit within the tone of this movie so bringing back a more jaded Dr Malcolm is actually a good call. Not to mention that he is no Superman .... far from it.
As for Tembo (played by an astounding Pete Postelthwaite. R.I.P)... what can I say? PURE FUCKING BADASS ! If 'manly' needed a picture in the dictionary he'd be in it ! Not only does his conversation with Ludlow give us his motivation right away and effectively so , but his mean streak never fails to amuse despite the actual respect he shows to his fallen crew members (especially Ajay ...).Just great ! [link]
As for the others... eh, not much care for them . Nick Van Owen (Vince Vaughn) may be one diabolical eco-terrorist though ! As for Sarah Harding... yes, the book version is better .

Now as for the 3 scenes people seem to complain about way too often :
- The Gym scene : Okay, first it reacted to a noise, like any animal with a keen sense of hearing would. Yes that trick probably would've been more effective if she didn't say anything but it was about to attack Ian. Besides it's Spielberg ...he needs some Whimsy somewhere (unfortunately ...). So... meh scene but not all that horrible for God sake ! Come on the first movie had Lex switching the light on while there was a fucking Rex outside , or Tim closing that goddamn door !

- The Heroes are terrible ? Dude, if you wanna know the TRUTH about Jurassic Park, you'd be fucking shocked ! But I'll come back to that once I talk about the novel .

- The San Diego scene ... Oh gimme a break ! That was absolutely wonderful and gave the movie a damn climax ! (The first one had a Deus Rex Machina, as cool as it is, it does not count as a climax !) True there is the plothole of the boat
The real reason why everyone is dead is because in the early development stages of the movie, they were gonna ship raptors to San Diego, not the T-Rex (they broke free, that's why everybody on the ship was killed).

All in all , The Lost World had the tone that his precessor should have had, and it takes advantage of its creatures ! So it has my praises for giving me what I want when I see summarised theropods on screen : Carnage and murderous frenesy. Which unfortunaely won't be the case with its successor ...



What are the good points ? Sam Neill is in it, and I love Sam Neill. We get to see pteranodons aaaand... Actually that's about it !

The bad points ? Take your pick :

- The mushiness . It was present in JP, fortunately absent from TLW but here ? IT'S THE FUCKING STRUCTURE OF THE DAMN SCRIPT THAT IS MUSHY AS FUCK ! It is so suggarish that it could give you diabetes just by watching it .
What is it about ? Well a guy takes the 12 year old son of his fiance for a holiday next to a forbidden zone. I repeat: FORBIDDEN ZONE ! Didn't San Diego teach them anything ? So They got lost and the kid survives through the power of mushiness and the biggest flaw of the first JP : Kids can't die.
Seriously ? In TLW , professional hunters would not last more than a night but a 12-year old lasts 8 WEEKS !? Blow me ! This is quite insulting to the theropods on this island I must say .Just when you thought JP3 couldn't get any worse,Jungle-Boy even rescues Alan. And you people whine about the Gym trick ? Which can be logically explained . Here, explain how JP3 is much better please ?
And the parents ? You'd almost wish this was Dino Crisis to see them torn to itsy bitsy meat dice . They are unbearably STUPID. I mean the other movies had stupid moments but HERE ? Dude there is a fucking limit to nature's patience ! They are a middle finger to the Grimm Reaper .
Bear in mind the parents basically force Dr Grant to stay against his will but are not being punished for their stupidity which cause three deaths to save one life, but they recover their son and find love again with each other... How cute ! If one forgets that the mother just lost her boyfriend (husband?) and was face-to-face with his rotting corpse with no seeming mental distress.
And the Ending ? God is it lame ! Family Army and Mushiness. Is this a teletubbies episode or what ?
It does not even satisfy our lust for savagery and wanton property damage. The spinosaurus (who magically appeared ... I dunno how you fucking create a spinosaurus aegypticus and forget about it !) is wasted on this trash. Speaking of which...

- The use of the creatures. Even the dinosaurs here have been affected by this sloppiness: They barely get to kill anything ! The death scenes have none of the dark humor of the previous films and none of the punch. They are dull !
Raptors snap necks cleanly and do none of the butchering they did spectacularly before. Here , they should be called the Goofyraptors because all their vaunted intelligence they make the audience laugh out loud.
Pteranodons don't even kill Billy because... BECAUSE ! The way he was caught by them, I think he should be pissing blood through 10 new holes in his flesh.
The Spinosaurus barely catches up with anyone without a gun (yeah , guns die... the weaponless survive ... Of course !) and is stopped by a door... and can't digest a mobile phone !
I also like how the spinosaurus manages to live through the T-Rex biting on its neck. Is it made of titanium all of a sudden ? Because if not , well its spine and arteries are goners.
What ? The Rex is a scavenger ? THAT MAKES HIS BITE EVEN MORE DANGEROUS ! Carnivors bites , whether current or prehistorical , are always dangerous if not treated . And scavengers are even worse ! How many bacterias do you find in his spit ? The kind that leads to a fucking MEGA-infection . Nothing lives through that shit! And on the negligible chance that it'd manage to survive gangrene would be putrefying its body attracting the other scavengers through the smell .
And another thing, the big creatures are more like live action puppets than the beautiful dinosaurs we saw in the first two movies. The colors are just eye-rape and the movie looks overall ugly and bland .

JP III doesn't have a single great scene in it and is, at best, just a collection of unused action sequences from the scripts of the previous two movies that were then just sloppily strung together (it's the only one that wasn't adapted from a Michael Crichton novel, so the overall storyline weakness really shows). It is ironically the shortest and most boring and therefore does not even deserve to be here . As far as I am concerned, it did NOT HAPPEN !
Whoever says that this film is better than Lost World has to be working for the studio who made this garbage or is popping ecstasy pills continuously. Because no one in their right mind would even think that this film has any merit at all. It's just too bad for words, and a pure disgrace to the name Jurassic Park.

Well this may conclude my opinion on the movies. If you want it in the basic 3 sentences :
JP III : Fuck you.

But if you want me to give my synthesis of my reasoning , it comes down to the novel . See , the 1st movie is a different creature from the printed version ! Now the opinions differ on which is better , I personally prefer the novel . Why ? Well you have to know that the book does not have a whimsical or good-natured tone AT ALL ! Jurassic Park is about vain pricks, bastards and an indirect battle royale about who is gona get rid of who ! And it is as gory as Dino Crisis. It opens with a baby that got disfigured by an escaped Procompsognathus .
The actual villain of the book is Hammond (who here is basically Flintheart Glomgold's retarded and egomaniacal's cousin ) , who is ready to let humans die to realise his dreams. The actual heroes are Ellie, Muldoon and Gennaro (who is completely different here ! Book Gennaro is basically Mickey Mouse if he were a lawyer; foolhardy enough to take a risk but enough common sense to smell the coffe when something IS wrong.) who basically do what they can to stop the calamity once it's spread.
Grant and Malcolm are 2 scientists that won't shut the fuck up about their theories , basically the former is a nicer version of Dr Weir with a beard and as a paleonthologist while the latter is Seth Brundle with less hair and if he happened to be a chaotician rather than a physicist . (GUess why what I wrote makes a lot of sense and you get a cookie !). As for the others (Ed Regis , Dennis Nedry . Henry Wu , Ray Arnold..) Well they basically hate each others guts for money issues and would not mind seeing the other end up as thropod snack. All in all , unlike the sanitised first movie, it contains spite ,sadism
and hatred ! The second movie while different in terms of plot , is the closest to capture this bleak and tense atmosphere with a more cynical Malcolm and the hatred from both sides between Nick Van Owen and Roland Tembo.

To conclude here is the opinion of someone who did not like the book and loved the movie . And trust me , it is easily the greatest post that's ever been made about Jurassic Park !


In the meanwhile , [link]
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ABB0002's avatar
ABB0002Professional Photographer
devilkais's avatar
Why thank you !
ABB0002's avatar
ABB0002Professional Photographer
You’re welcome life finds a way
ijustlikehalo's avatar
ijustlikehaloHobbyist Traditional Artist
Lost World is also my favorite. Apart from a few scenes like the weird acrobatics part and the whole ship plot hole, it's the closest we will ever come to a big budget R rated dinosaur movie. The special effects have aged surprisingly well and the Rex rampage in the city is great.
devilkais's avatar
Just in case, here's what I thought of JW Jurassic World review
Prehistoric-Lover76's avatar
Prehistoric-Lover76Hobbyist Artist
This looks awesome!!
devilkais's avatar
Exactly ! The more the theropods, the better the slaughter !
Zillatamer1995's avatar
Zillatamer1995Hobbyist Artist
Oh, and don't forget about the short lived T-Rex scene. That is the thing that pisses alot of people off.
devilkais's avatar
Zillatamer1995's avatar
Zillatamer1995Hobbyist Artist
I like the first Jurassic park too, but it's just not the same without the main star.
DanFalcon's avatar
DanFalconHobbyist General Artist
I Agree with your opinion here. Lost World isn't as good as the first in my eyes, but it is damn good otherwise. Roland Tembo is a motherfucking badass plain and simple. Every one of his lines is perfect, and his deleted scenes are better (He literally wins in a fist fight with one arm tied behind his back). I was sad to see Muldoon die in the movie (Although the tie in comic, which is canon, says he survived) since in the book he fights raptors with a god damn rocket launcher. All in all, two great movies, one terrible mess, then the king of them all: Jurassic World
devilkais's avatar
Thanks man ! As a matter of fact I finally revewed Jurassic World, and yes it was a blast !…
Tyranno63's avatar
I agree JP3 is the worst I should have stopped watching the moment I saw the velociraptor say "alan"
devilkais's avatar
And the kid survives 8 weeks ! Wonderful... I guess the carnivors became incompetent in between movies.
evantulacmaster's avatar
evantulacmasterProfessional Artist
devilkais's avatar
Thanks dude !
evantulacmaster's avatar
evantulacmasterProfessional Artist
You're welcome, dude.
Wolfpackersson09's avatar
Well, your reviews are personal opinion and do have merit, but I still think Jurassic Park. The Lost World is pretty good, but it doesn't have the same feel. Plus, in all cases there is at least one person that either has dealt with the cloned dinosaurs personally, or at least has enough knowledge of them to keep a group alive. Then there's the fact that you are essentially bashing child characters for being fortunate to survive either through actual knowledge, or being associated with someone that is knowledgeable to take appropriate action or simply not being far enough for help to arrive. The picture itself is good, as well as the review, but it still is more 'I want to see people get eaten'. The positives of what you call 'negatives' is that people are capable of surviving through will, knowledge, and a bit of good fortune. Plus, Spielberg and Crichton did their work on researching, including the possibility of Velociraptor growing to be 6 ft. I do agree that I enjoy the characters, such as Ian having great insight because of his knowledge of Chaos Theory and unpredictability, Alan Grant being a badass with no need for weapons to survive, and I'll give props to Muldoon and Roland for being realistic in a situation instead of idealistic, which isn't bad. Tim and Lex weren't as annoying in the film as probably perceived, even if they have done stupid things. Kelly was smart enough to realize danger and listen to her father when it would save her life. As for Eric from the third film, he was actually a bit more likable then Paul and Amanda, as they stated in the film that it was difficult to ground him as he found ways around it, and that, added with his knowledge of dinosaurs, most likely added that he had one of the highest natural survivability rates of the entire cast in the third film. I will admit that I haven't read the novels, and thus cannot make a complete argument, and I do respect your opinions, but don't you think it's going a little too far to say that the child characters in the movies should have been eaten, despite that all three have contributed to surviving in some way?(Lex by managing to understand Nedry's system so they can get rescued in the first movie, Kelly by using her gymnastics skills to at least stun a raptor, and Eric for knowing how to use gas grenades to fend off raptors.)
devilkais's avatar
Dude , I am not bashing the kids but you have to admit that some parts are rather contrived. And I 'm sorry but Eric was really pushing it ! 8 WEEKS ?! I just don't buy it !
Wolfpackersson09's avatar
I understand that it's a little overstated, and can agree that some parts are contrived. Plus it is possible for someone to survive that long, it's just not very likely.
MatoosaurusRex's avatar
I try not to hate JP3 becuz it's still a JP movie but I still kinda do I agree with u I just try not to hate it :|
raptorguy1's avatar
I cant wait jurassic world
MatoosaurusRex's avatar
They left the humans alone because they got what they came there for. The eggs. Killing them would be a waste of their time. The raptors didn't give a crap anyways. Plus they heard the helicopters and thought help was coming and from the sound of it a lot of help so fleeing was reasonable to be realistic but then again they are genetically modified raptors and far more vicious than their feathered counterparts although in my opinion yes jurassic park 3 was the worst and made the least sense. RESTRICTED AREA! You can't just say you'll fix the tiles in their bathroom and they'll let u go isn't that right? KIRBY TILES PLUS correct me if I'm wrong but there company's name is something like that
Donnietu's avatar
DonnietuStudent General Artist
Hey, :icondevilkais:. Do you have any thoughts on Spielberg's other films?
anonymous's avatar
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