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Secret. 13525 by DeviantArtSecret Secret. 13525 by DeviantArtSecret
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Submitted by - DAS 8
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Ancient-Hoofbeats Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2013  Student General Artist
I used to say the same thing about my mom who drank herself to death...but eventually I learned to let go and forgive her. People understood that I just needed that time to grieve privately and to understand what happened before I could grieve publicly. I'm sure that your friends and family will also understand, but if you ever want to talk about it or anything, I'm here :)
emberhades Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
emberhades Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah losing a family member/ someone close to hurts I understand. I lost my mum when I was a little girl and it still hurts. When people talk about their mum's birthdays and such... o3o (Emo corner now) D: Keep going on someone will reach out :D
KusaKat Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013
it's normal for it to hurt. I lost my mother and it still hurts. Just be honest with those people. They probably already know you aren't telling the truth anyways and no one can blame you
koshplappit Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Tell the truth. It makes things a lot easier. Don't be afraid to admit mistakes!
Pingouinou Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2013
I lost my mom and had the "luck" to meet someone who had been through this before me.
She helped me because I didn't want to talk to the others. Like you, I said I was okay - and I clearly wasn't...
So, you can contact me if I can help...
my mom died and i totally know how you feel! you just need to pull someone aside and tell them the truth!
Corvusanimus Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013
I know how that feels... I was the same way about my mom
XxRockFiendxX Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013
just tell them u need an ear. they'll understand that it's not something that just up and goes away forever. and if they don't there are plenty of people you can go find and talk to about it.
horohura Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2013  Student Digital Artist
you already admitted you still hurt to all of use find one of use to talk to and help you out
Kokorookaikasuru Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013  Student General Artist
It's a natural part of the grieving process to be in denial, and people probably think you're lying about not caring anymore anyways. That's how I feel it is anyways, but maybe not. Tell a really close friend and gradually work your way out from there, but don't make a huge pity party. Just let them know that you still need that support.
RemiroQuai Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Ask for help. You are allowed to be wrong, especially when feelings are concerned. My dad passed away almost exactly a year ago and... it is not always easy. :huggle:
tamarialovestechumsa Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
" remember when i said i was fine. " *deep breathe* " it wasn't true. i'm not okay."
LikePeeringEyes Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013  Hobbyist
When someone you love is dying, it feels like you're dying too. When a family member of mine was dying, I felt worthless and helpless that I couldn't help them. It killed me inside. However, I didn't tell anyone how I felt. It ate away at me like an infection, and all I can tell you is that you NEED to tell someone. You HAVE to, otherwise it'll eat away at you and slowly, you'll just self destruction.
lizziebydesign Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013  Professional General Artist
Asking for help is not a weakness and it isn't annoying. It is a strength and you would be considered very brave.
Toflun Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I know exactly how this feels, if the secret teller wish to talk about it, I would love to. :)
salty-dreams Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
put your pride and fear aside. realise it is not weakness to complain about your pain. and just snap. don't worry how it will turn out, whatever way it turns out you will feel better, i promise. release yourself, you are holding yourself back. you are overthinking yourself and not what you think other people around you want of you. just snap...cry, scream, it before it is too late and you shut completely
long-danzi Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013  Hobbyist
It's ok to feel bad about your dad dying. It's alright to feel hurt. I think you need someone to talk to, I promise it'll help.
Rose-Eclipse Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I personally have never been in such a situation.
But could you try talking to someone close about it (though i understand that you might not have anyone really close other than your father)
Surviveroflove Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
Talk about it. Its better if you do. You remember the good times you had with him. His voice is smile, the unique things he could do just to make you smile. You ever need to talk im here. Just send a note. And that is for everyone here.
Jokerbug Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey ST, send me a note if you need someone to talk to. I know exactly what you're going through. I lost my dad a little over a year and a half ago. My little sister doesn't like talking about him. It's not that I don't want to talk about it, I just don't know how to with my friends and family without feeling guilty because I'm pushing my negative emotions onto them.

Just remember your family is your best resource on who to talk to because they knew your dad just as much as you did. Even if you've said you don't care, it's okay to take it back and tell them what's going on with you emotionally. Then from there they can help you decide how to help you deal and if you do need outside help like therapy or counseling. If you're not ready to talk to them about it, there are also several grief websites and hotlines that you can talk to other people about what you're going through.
Sogri Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
its understandable that you would lie to people about this. its okay to ask for help. i know there is someone out there whois worried and wants to listen.
ZIM402 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
do the most difficult thing
*more difficult than asking for help
admit you were wrong
THEN ask for help
*the #2 most difficult thing
Cinder254 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Student General Artist
I'll tell you one of my very dear friends lost her father and she always tells me she doesn't care, or it doesn't matter, and I would do anything for her to tell the truth for I see the pain in her eyes, they just would have to say they do care and it hurts and I would give them the biggest hug of all time and brush off the previous words. For whether you told them you don't care or not, I'm sure they did.
XMizanX Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
As everyone else said.. it's best to swallow your pride and let someone close to you know how you feel.
Starrrshine Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
This discibes me and my brother so much i just
I tell everyone you have to move on or you'll never me happy
but I CANT move on i just
-lays down and dies-
Purestrongpoem Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Just ask for help, people will listen.
La-Nee Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Do you think they believed you?
Maybe they saw you telling you didn't care as you saying I didn't want to talk?

Your friends and family will listen. :)
Bieberfan2013 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
serget2 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
If you're looking for an easy way, i'm sorry to tell you, there is no easy way,
clearly you have feelings for your father, did you ask yourself wher these feelings come from.
He was your father, he thought you things, on of them is clearly love, unconditional love as only a parent can.
Cherish what he thought you, share it with other people, share it with your children.
He's done stuff with you, stuff you remember, as riding a bike, a day at the beach, comfort you with your first heartbreak....
Relive these moments, remember them, share it with other loved ones.
When you do that at first there will be pain, I'm sorry, there is no way around the pain.
But then you'll learn that you where meanth to have these memories,
That he gave them to you for a reason.
For you to become a better person because of them.
To see things as he did, live as good as he did and love as well as he did.
Because when you do that, not only do you keep his memory alive for yourself
but also for others that knew him.
Because this "immortal soul" that may religions speak of (but distort with their stories)
IT IS US, all the people that knew you father they will carry pieces of his soul througout their lives
the things they have learned, felth and experienced just being around your father
the things they pass on to other loved ones,
and those other loved ones will pass on to yet other loved ones without even knowing your father
That's his soul, it lives on in each life he touched.
that's when the pain will slowly fade,
when you realise he never left you.
onesidedcross Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
if you're not willing to talk to anyone, no one can listen :)
Randicore Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
just go to a trusted friend and say it, a little lie on the outside is something we all tell once in a while, they will understand if they are true friends.
ChainedShadows Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
My father is also gone, sweetie. And I've done exactly what you have - say that what happened didn't matter, that I was okay. But I wasn't. Just simply open up. If those feelings grip you and overwhelm you, just open up and ask for help. It may seem scary, and hard, but really... once you do it, it'll feel so much easier. Just simply take someone to the side, someone you trust, and tell them everything.

You'll feel so much better <3
DeutscheCamila Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
Just do it, everything will get better afterwards. You are in a difficult situation, and you are allowed to fuck up from time to time and say things you didn't mean. It is ok. Just tell them, once you do, it'll get better.
Faynei Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I lost my dad to cancer a while ago, I was young at the time so I couldn't exactly comprehend what had happen. so I shrugged it off and went on in life. Eventually I wore down, and I wanted to tell someone, but for some reason didn't. Let's just say that if you don't talk about it, and keep those emotions bottled up inside of you, you'll run into problems down the road.

If you can't talk to a friend, consider a counselor. You'll get through this :hug:
Raye89 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
Telling people you're fine or that you don't care is a coping mechanism; you probably tell people you don't care in hopes that you'll actually believe it, and you wont hurt as much or be as sad.

It's not working, so it's time to talk to people about it. Your friends might rib you about it a little bit, but they'll quickly get over it and offer you an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on; all you have to do is ask, and talk.
Sappokei Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Should've disallowed comments.

Anyway cry then if you want to. Talk to someone if you want to. You're either going to wait for someone to come to you or you're going to go get it yourself. Stop being so proud of yourself and admit you're wrong.

Also sending it to some other person for them to publicise it isn't going to help. If you want something done, you do it yourself.
RyukeKuroi Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
I am in the process of losing my dad to cancer. I have to help him alot since he can't do alot anymore. (due to oxygen shortage with his longue cancer) I try to stay big about it when people ask about him and not cry and anything. But indeed all I want is to sob. Luckily I have people I can talk/cry with if I want to and it really helps me. So yeah if you want to talk feel free to message me as well.
Good luck with everything.
kittykaosu Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
you get asking for it.
axemsir Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
This could be my secret, only that my dad died before I could remember him and I tell people it doesn't matter because I never knew him :')
tabbycat1212 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm very sorry for your loss. I don't know if it'll help at all, but if you need someone to talk to, please feel free to message me at anytime. <:3
Maxernest Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013   General Artist
i understand. i did the same thing.. then they caught me crying about it.
lizzy-chan5 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Student
How do you do it? You tell them, plain and simple. I'm sure they'll understand.
And if you still need someone to talk to, I can relate.
ravenaudron Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Talk anyway! There's nothing wrong with crying about it, he's your dad!
CutieDeidara Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
I'm sure your friends will understand, if you tell them, how much the loss of your father still hurts you. Don't struggle to talk about your feelings. The need to talk about your emotions is only natural and your friends will definitely listhen to you.
I wish you all the best, dear ST.
The-Mysterious-J Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Friends will listen to you anyway!
xpekalx Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm very sorry for your loss :iconcryinghugplz:
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