PERSONS attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.
BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR, Per G.G., Chief of Ordnance.
MSPaint enthusiast, lurker since 200X
A counterargument against the universal guarantee of the rights granted by First Amendment
I will ignore you if you are the type of person to interpret an ambiguous statement as hostile or personally offending
Feel free to criticize me constructively or personally, just make it funny. Nothing is worse than opening some well-deserved criticism and finding out someone just called me a queer for the umpteenth time.
Q&A Q: Why do you consistently express contradictory views?
A: I have observed that there is no greater online downfall that cultivating an audience of uncritical sycophants. By instead cultivating discord, I expose my audience to multiple viewpoints for them to reflect critically upon and remove potential adulators wishing to fellate me for some profit. It is in the spirit of satire to ridicule oneself and one's supporters.
Q: What are these crappy bilingual literature posts?
A: I write encyclopedia-type articles about offline things through the perspective of an online person. While not recalcitrant or seditious, some of these articles are wayward or unorthodox and might cause a rift were they to be published with my idiosyncratic English habits.
Q: Why are you so cringe?
A: No risk, no reward.
Q: Why so many pretentious Latin and French phrases?
A: Jargon allows my Anglo-Saxon lexicon to be simple and mortified onlookers to know that my lapses in judgment are intentional, if playful, which makes them worse.
One witness shall not rise up against a man for any iniquity, or for any sin, in any sin that he sinneth: at the mouth of two witnesses, or at the mouth of three witnesses, shall the matter be established.
America is woven of many strands; I would recognize them and let it so remain. It's "winner take nothing" that is the great truth of our country or of any country. Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat. Our fate is to become one, and yet many— This is not prophecy, but description.
And the streams thereof shall be turned into pitch, and the dust thereof into brimstone, and the land thereof shall become burning pitch. It shall not be quenched night nor day; the smoke thereof shall go up for ever: from generation to generation it shall lie waste; none shall pass through it for ever and ever.
I saw in the night visions, and, behold, one like the Son of man came with the clouds of heaven, and came to the Ancient of days, and they brought him near before him.
The multitude of camels shall cover thee, the dromedaries of Midian and Ephah; all they from Sheba shall come: they shall bring gold and incense; and they shall shew forth the praises of the LORD.