DeusExEquus's avatar

Fix - Chapter Three, Page Ten

By DeusExEquus
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Okay, so... this page.

In the original version of all this, the muffled yelling ended with what was the clear sound of Cozy's mother being struck. Cozy would see her later on with a mark on her face, and ask if her dad did that. Her mom would deny it, giving the "Ran into a door" explanation, and Cozy would say that her dad hit her sometimes, too. Cozy's mom then denies that as well, and Cozy tries to insist, to which her mom says they just need to try not to make him mad.

Obviously I was going into the whole 'abuse victims often blame themselves, not the abuser' issue. But, for a number of reasons, I decided to cut all that out.

If you want the really bland reason, it was cut for time. That would have been another five pages, which would mean five more pages for the other two and therefore an entire other chapter. And honestly, this thing is kind of too big already.

There are some rather more serious reasons, however.

One is that that would make things kind of dark. Like, this is pretty bad already, I'm honestly kind of surprised I didn't get any private notes complaining about it. But there's a definite limit on how far I wanted to take things, and on reflection that was past the line.

But probably the best reason is... I just don't think I'm capable of handling that kind of discussion. It is an extraordinarily serious subject, and I just don't think I can do it justice. I think the phrase that best fits me is, I know just enough to be dangerous. I know that abuse victims often accept the abuse, to blame themselves, to say that if they just did better the abuse would stop. But like, that's just something I picked up through osmosis off the internet. I'm just a graphic designer/web programmer, I have no sort of training or learning on this subject whatsoever. I'm not the right person to be leading a discussion on this, and I know that, so I'm not going to try.
And kind of tying into the previous point, I don't think this is the place for that kind of discussion. I think there are far better places where that can take place than a stupid little fan comic on the internet that some random person draws.

So, with everything taken together, I decided to remove all of that.
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anonymous's avatar
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Shadowlord123456's avatar
Cozy learned the only person she could count on was herself. She can't love because she never learned how.
Shadowlord123456's avatar
Evil is never born, it's created.
fotland42's avatar

Whether or not it appears in the story, it's not hard to infer how Cozy's dad behaves.

nioniosbbbb's avatar

I respect your discretion on the subject but I'm encouraging you to have it anyway.

Zumamaster's avatar

This may be a fan comic, but I am not going to lie, this would make an amazing season finale. A lost episode of sorts.

Pony4Koma's avatar

Empress of Friendship Cozy Glow the First had such a hard childhood.... Silent cry

TheKman100's avatar

Anyone else trying to read those faded speech bubbles? I can't make out enough of it.

imperialsword's avatar

there also flipped so harder to read but most say this is where some words should go and there are the angriest words ever said to you etc

Bassline88's avatar

The fact that the abuse is not shown makes it work even better! Sometimes ones imagination is all that's needet for horror!

Also it could imply that Cozy is desperatly trining to supress these memories.

PhoenixFlambe's avatar
If you had went with the original route,

1. You could make the page literally longer, but I supposed it's better for the sake of comfortability in reading.

2. The reason would be very specific in that she treats her dad as her enemy rather than both. Though I suppose you could input that in a future page.
VectorVito's avatar

Oh my God... This is both heartbreaking and outrageous. Good job, Mane 6, you kicked a broken, suffering child almost to death. She deserves mental help, and most of all, tons of love and care.

Kittamaru's avatar

As someone who has, for lack of a better term, been there... I can appreciate your candidness here. It is an incredibly serious topic, one that gets marginalized and pushed to the shadows with a sort of "Out of sight, out of mind" mentality. You did it justice, though. I can say from experience that, yeah, that is exactly how it often goes - one of the pair is overly angry, aggressive, abusive (be it physically, emotionally, verbally, or some combination therein). Often there is some history to it - be it that they were abused, or substance abuse, the sort, and so the other half tries to rationalize it. "Oh, he wouldn't be like that if his father hadn't blah blah" or "He's right, I did mess up" or other such. And for the child? The child is left wishing and praying for a family that was safe. That would hold them, love them, and just... be a family together.

Your depiction here... it takes the Cozy Glow of the show, who I could barely stand and could not even begin to relate to, and it makes my heart ache for her. It gives me that missing backstory, that missing reason... and one that is so close to my heart, because I could have easily wound up the same way.

I, at least, think you did a fantastic job touching on a very difficult subject.

MrOmg82's avatar

Flutters got so uncomfortable that she merged into the wall.

asdtroi8895's avatar

Well, she clearily feels scared and powerless so I guess thats why she wanted power. Kind of a leap to go from this to draining all the magic in Equestria to become the empress of friendship but thats a childs logic for you.

I'm guessing its Chryssie time next.

zakueins's avatar

I'm having this moment that I'm looking at all this...and, I have to ask the following question-

Why should Cozy Glow have a reason?

Wouldn't it be scarier-and much more confusing-if there wasn't one? None at all? Cozy Glow just...did things...because she found them fun, she found them amusing. She harms ponies for the same reason other ponies make cakes or build things. It makes her happy.

NeoRogueShadows's avatar

Okay, but, *why*? I get that some people are “just like that”, but that’s not particularly compelling or interesting from the storytelling perspective of a show intended for kids.

Which...isn’t to say that I particularly like this origin. It takes too much blame off of Cozy. “She was never a supervillain, it’s all her dad’s fault!”

it’s too easy, too simple, and really just isn’t that compelling or interesting either.

Wixi2000's avatar

I agree with you. I also think it would be much more interesting if she ended up just being a sadistic sociopath, but then again, people love giving villains tragic backstories, and I don't blame them. It's fun trying to give them "a reason" for their bad behavior.

DrX-Raven's avatar

Unfortunately, she made it pretty clear what she wanted in the canon: power. She had a clear goal, a set objective, so she's gonna need some suitable motivation to seek it.

Wixi2000's avatar

And somehow, I really like the idea of her just being a megalomaniac more than of her being abused.

zakueins's avatar

I do as well. The writer aspect of me does want to have a reason for what she does. And, there's the natural thing to try and have some empathy for her and to find reasons for empathy.

But, there's also that writer's aspect of me that says "why should she? Or, better yet, let's make her reason so petty by any reasonable standard it's just...sad."

Because that kind of thing is both scarier and sadder than "history of abuse."

jimmyhook19202122's avatar

Cozy Glow......... ;-------------------;

SteelResolve's avatar

So, child abuse, spousal abuse, emotional neglect... this is the type of thing that causes a young mind to snap and make very strange decisions. Clearly we need FPS (Foal Protective Services). Equestria seems to be full of so much casual neglect. A foal loses a horn, becomes a super villain, another has a friend move away. If not for the garden in Canterlot full of statues I would ask how Equestria has survived...

DrChrisman's avatar

I would have tried to impel it somehow

but yeah I think it would think it would have been a difficult subject to get right

jimmyhook19202122's avatar

Say..... you don't mind me always do "Cozy Glow..... ;-;" on any submission featuring her, right?

I mean after all though.... I just can't stand why Hasbro and DHX Media think doing these treatments (aka jailing and stone imprisonment) to a Filly despite what she did in the respective Season finales as good for kids. It's just not right for them to do that. ;-;

anonymous's avatar
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