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I'm not feeling so hot, y'all. Sorry for the inactivity. I've been super unwell lately, with insane (bro)ovarian pain, lethargy and depression, with harcore weight gain and swelling from water weight. We don't know what's wrong with me, but signs are pointing to some sort of thyroid issue.

I got my thyroid tests back yesterday and they're insanely weird, like, not one number is what it's supposed to be, in any way. Some numbers are overactive, some are underactive, and my immune system is insanely actively attacking my thyroid, in numbers none of the doctors at the clinic I went to have even seen before. I can't see a doctor until the end of next month, because of how overbooked (and underpopulated) endocrinologists are in my region.

Mostly I want to go sleep again. I've slept most of today, I'm exhausted.
Honestly I kinda hope I just faint from all of this, so a bystander will be legally obligated to call 911 to send me to the hospital, but I also hate fainting, my blood pressure has always been low so I faint a lot, but this might be a solid time to go to the emergency room so someone will give me a ultrasound of my thyroid and a more comprehensive blood test. Ugh.

Sorry to whine so much. I'll be back to normal soonish I hope.
Ya ok!

my artfight url:
[x] i will be playing artfight this year
[x] this is my first artfight
[ ] i found out about it through dA
[ ] i go slow and steady throughout the month
[x] i go hard and burnout quickly
[ ] my profile is decorated
[ ] i am part of the artfight discord
[x] i have posted mature filter art
[ ] artfight is the highlight of my summer
[x] i do friendly fire

[ ] i fought for team sun/moon
[ ] i fought for team magic/technology
[ ] i fought for team monochrome/color
[ ] i have won artfight before
[ ] i played when it was on their old website/forums
[ ] my user number is less than 1000

[x] i play because i enjoy the competition
[x] i play because i want free art
[x] i play because i want to improve
[x] i play because i want to give free art
[ ] i play for another reason:


[ ] i have 50+ followers on artfight
[ ] i have made 10+ attacks
[ ] i have made 50+ attacks
[ ] i have received 10+ attacks
[ ] i have received 50+ attacks
[ ] i have uploaded 10+ characters //i plan to
[ ] i have hidden characters
[ ] i have over 200 points total
[ ] i revenge every attack i receive //i plan to

total = 10/30

for stats u can check[yourusernameher… !

Also my first artfight, Megaabsol5 !
  • Watching: Queer Eye Season 2
  • Drinking: Dr. Pepper
  • Listening to: the fans which freeze my arctic nighttime apartmen
  • Watching: My Vape Juice Stock Evaporate
  • Eating: Vape juice straight from the bottle.
  • Drinking: Dr. Pepper
Why the hecc not? Stolen from the delightful Xhibli .

Post this in your Journal with the title saying,
"I act like a __ year-old". 

[X] You know how to make a pot of coffee.
[X] You keep track of dates using a calendar.
[] You know how to change the oil in a car. 
[X] You've done your own laundry. 
[X] You can vote in an election. 
[] You can cook for yourself.
[X] You think politics are interesting. 
Total: 5

[] You show up for school late a lot.
[X] You always carry a pen/pencil in your bag/purse/pocket. 
[] You've never gotten a detention. 
[] You have forgotten your own birthday
[X] You like to take walks by yourself.
[X] You know what credibility means without looking it up.
[X] You drink caffeine at least once a week. 

Total: 4

[X] You know how to do the dishes
[X] You can count to 10 in another language. 
[X] When you say you're going to do something you usually do it.
[] You can mow the lawn. 
[X] You study even when you don't have to.
[X] You have hand washed a car before. 

Total: 5

[X] You can spell experience without looking it up.
[X] The people at Starbucks know you by name. 
[X] Your favourite kind of food is take-out.
[X] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need.
[X] You understand political jokes the first time they are said.
[X] You can type pretty quickly.

Total: 5

[] Your only friends are from your place of employment.
[]  You have been to a Tupperware party.
[] You have realized that practically no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job. 
[X] You have more bills than you can pay. 
[X] You have been to the beach.
[X]You use the internet every day. 
[X] You have been outside 3 or more times a day 
[X] You make your bed in the morning.

Total: 5

Final Total: 24

Yeah, okay. That doesn't sound far off.
CW: I curse like a sailor (but I grew up on a boat so deal), and I talk about brain damage and surgery.

1. what’s your gender? 
Trans dude, NB

2. what are your pronouns?
They/them, he/him!

3. is your family accepting?
I'd say half and half. I think most of them "support" me, but they're so freaked out by my upcoming surgery that they aren't being super supportive. They're trying! I was shuffled between families a lot, so I make a lot of Mother's Day and Father's Day calls, and I have like six times the number of loving parents to assuage the fears of when I came out and planned my surgery. xDDD

4. what do you wish you could tell your past self?
You're not what happens to you, and you're not what everyone else sees of you. You're just you.

5. what is your sexuality?

6. favorite color
Chartreuse, neon orange, crimson, and black.

7. sun gay or moon gay?
Moon gay, the sun and I have never gotten along. Also Bulan pride yoooooo!

8. when did you find out your sexuality?
Uh... When I started puberty I guess?

9. how was your day? 
It's like weirdly cold, and it was SO HOT the day before yesterday. C'mon Bay, is it Spring or Summer? DECIDE!

10. do you have any gay friends?
I'd say queer friends vastly outnumber straight friends, tbh.

11. what’s your favorite hobby?
Drawing, playing bass and uke, long walks, and vidja games. In about that order.

12. who’s the best gay icon in your opinion
Hmm... Taylor from Billions is deffo the most relatable. But I also like adore the heck out of Chase, and if you haven't watched his videos you're reaaally missing out.
Also heck it, frakkin' Danny Phantom, YEAH I SAID IT HE'S HEADCANON'D TRANS. Hahaha
Gray Ghost Week - Transgender by TheUltimateEnemy

13. which pride flags do you like the most design/color wise?
I honestly hadn't given this much thought, but like my own I guess?
Trans Pride Flag by pixxeldog Pansexual Pride Flag by pixxeldog Demisexual Pride Flag by pixxeldog

14. are you openly out?
Very. Very, very.
15. are you comfortable with yourself?
More than before I came out, 1000%.

16. bottom or top?
So bottom it's insane. "Unrepentant bottom". But a very (knowingly and carefully) bratty sub in BDSM.

17. femme or butch?
I'm butch af, but my type is definitely androgenous.

18. do you bind?
Ugh, until the surgery.

19. do you shave?
Hell no.

20. if you could date anyone you wanted, who would it be?
 Oh, geez. I guess Asia Kate Dillon?

21. do you have a partner (s)?
Yup, one at the moment.

22. describe your partner (s)?
Cis male. Real nerdy. Also real sweet. Just broke up with my sweet ace nb boi I was dating, still kinda sore about it.

23. have you ever dated anyone of the same sex?
Uh... Define "sex"? I've never dated someone with similarly ambiguous sex or intersex conditions, so no? I've dated boys and girls and enbys, though.

24. anyone of another sex?
See above.

25. pastel gay or goth gay
Goth gay but with wild pastel dreams after surgery and hormones.

26. favorite dad in dream daddies?

27. tell me a random fact about yourself?
I have literal brain damage! It causes memory problems, hyperactivity, and poor impulse control!

28. do you own any pride flags/merch?
Holy crap, so stupid much. I used to have more, too, but I've moved internationally a lot, and it's weird what sticks when you move overseas. You're like "Why do I have this commie flag from highschool but not my sweet 6 foot pride flag?"

29. have you ever been to a pride parade?
Several. Last time I went it was in a corporate event, which sucked, so I think I skipped last year.

30. any advice to someone who isn’t out or who are exploring themselves?
Coming out is a loooot less scary than it seems, if you're worried about usually rational people being irrationally angry, it's unlikely. I've had to do it a lot. Also, don't be afraid to take your time and figure things out at your own pace, or even completely change your mind. It's your life, your body, you make the fucking rules. That said, if you live with parents or controlling partners then you work with what you got, and you have my support and, where needed, sympathy.
And hey, if you have like, casual thoughts that like "This isn't my chest, it's just tits," coupled with stuff like "don't call me a girl, I'm fucking ME", you might be somewhere on the trans spectrum. I wish someone had told me that a long ass time ago, I might have transitioned young enough to still be eligible for full twink status. Dignity laugh 

to my fellow lgbtq+ kids u can do this meme if ya want :^) see ya
Seriously, Ruyakons is next level fun.
Look how much fun I'm having!

Beach Scene in Myunum by destructoPop

Milo Playing Baritone Uke In His Room by destructoPopMilo Forsyth by destructoPop

You could be, too!
Come join!
The discord is hilarious.
  • Watching: Colony
  • Listening to: Suffer for Fashion - Of Montreal

Finished this thingy finally.

Beach Scene in Myunum by destructoPop

My Ruyakons  and Chromoxes:



  Smol Leaf (F2U) by PoodleCorpe{ Milo Forsyth - MYO - Middle Class - Wisteria }  Smol Leaf (F2U) by PoodleCorpe
Masterlist Entry:
  [#13] Wisteria by Ruyakons-Masterlist
[MYO Slot]


Smol Leaf (F2U) by PoodleCorpe { ??? - MYO - ??? - ??? }  Smol Leaf (F2U) by PoodleCorpe
Masterlist Entry:

[MYO Slot]




Smol Leaf (F2U) by PoodleCorpe{ ??? - MYO - ??? - ??? }  Smol Leaf (F2U) by PoodleCorpe
Masterlist Entry:

Companion of:
Milo Forsyth - [#13] Wisteria
Member of Moxie:
Hello Friends and Neighbours. I'm still a baby TWWM player, and I'd like some experience.

I have a full todo list right now, so I can't devote much time to finding and requesting permission to draw pretty esks, so I'm asking if anyone would like to submit them here for me to consider.
They'll probably be somewhat quick pictures made to warm up, but I promise I'll do my best to capture your esk's emotion and energy.

Everything here is completely free.

Here's some samples of markedly less quick doodles:
Lil' Pupper by destructoPop HE NEEDS TWO BOWLS by destructoPop Happy Neapolitino BB! by destructoPop Fox Fire by destructoPop
And I hope I can capture that much energy for your esks!

I'll be experimenting with a different style from my usual, trying to get to that lineless goal, so I apologise in advance if I can't quite eke out my usual skill, which has also been a bit inconsistent lately due to depression and my usual tablet being dead. n_n;

So if I select your esk, I probably won't be saying so until it's done. I hope that's okay.
Just drop a comment below and when I finish I'll tag you and your esk in the deviation, but also link it under your comment!
Ruyakons - Currency: Seed by Strabii  Meteorshower by ButtholeFromMars19  Ruyakons - Currency: Seed by Strabii

destructoPop's Mad Awesome Seed Tracker, Yo.



{Milo Forsyth MYO Reference}
Milo Forsyth by destructoPop
{Fullbody x2} [100 x2] Seeds
{Fully coloured} +[50 x2] Seeds
{Fully shaded} +[50 x2] Seeds
{Complex BG} +[50] Seeds
Total: [450  Pixel Seed mini Mk 2 by destructoPop ]


{Milo Playing Baritone Uke In His Room }
Milo Playing Baritone Uke In His Room by destructoPop
{Fullbody} [100 x2] Seeds
{Fully coloured} +[50 x2] Seeds
{Fully shaded} +[50] Seeds
{BG} +[50] Seeds
Total: [400  Pixel Seed mini Mk 2 by destructoPop ]


{Beach Scene in Myunum}
Beach Scene in Myunum by destructoPop
{Knee-Up (fullbody)} [100 x4] Seeds
{Fully coloured} +[50 x4] Seeds
{Fully shaded} +[50 x4] Seeds
{Complex BG} +[50] Seeds
Total: [850 Pixel Seed mini Mk 2 by destructoPop ]


{Milo with a plant}
Milo with a plant by destructoPop
{Knee-up (Fullbody)} [100] Seeds
{Fully Coloured} +[50] Seeds
{Fully Shaded} +[50] Seeds
{Basic BG} +[20] Seeds
Total: [220 Pixel Seed mini Mk 2 by destructoPop]


{Milo Emoting}
Milo Emoting by destructoPop
{Headshot} [25 x4] Seeds
{Fully coloured} +[50 x4] Seeds
{Simple Shading} +[20 x 4] Seeds
{Gradient BG} +[0] Seeds
Total: [380  Pixel Seed mini Mk 2 by destructoPop]


{Milo Emoting 2}
Milo Emoting 2 by destructoPop
{Headshot} [25 x4] Seeds
{Fully Coloured} +[50 x4] Seeds
{Simple Shading} +[20 x4] Seeds
{Gradient BG} +[0] Seeds
Total: [380  Pixel Seed mini Mk 2 by destructoPop]


{Link to Art}
{Type} [#] Seeds
{Extra} +[#] Seeds
{Extra} +[#] Seeds
{Extra} +[#] Seeds
Total: [Total  Earned]


(Transaction Comment Link/Link to Screenshot)
{Transaction Type} -[#] Seeds
{Transaction Type} -[#] Seeds
{Transaction Type} -[#] Seeds
Total Deducted: [Total Seeds Deducted]


Current Total: [2680 Pixel Seed mini Mk 2 by destructoPop ]

Oops by destructoPop
I apologise that I'm taking way too long on all these trades right now. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things after a bit of a funk (and a LOT of computer trouble, including reformatting a dying PC), but I'm just about there. Lineart is done on DvrkSide 's bb Guri Ur, I'm flatting now.
I've started planning Casper.
I've started posing my feral thread entry.

Phew, I guess I got a little overwhelmed at how long the list is.
You can monitor progress right hyah.
  • Watching: Europa Report
Pixel Tree by Smiley-Fakemon

Sprout Bounce by FilthySlime[i]: sprout pixel  destructopop [i]: sprout pixel Sprout Bounce by FilthySlime

Lvl1 by Esk-Masterlist

Player level: Newcomer (1)
Aura Points: 30

 { C h a r a c t e r s 


 {  A r t w o r k 

Grumpy Mama Kettle by destructoPop

 {  A c h i e v e m e n t s 

(no badges, no treasures)

Sprouts by LiticaHarmony
(tracking for my reference)
(calculator for my reference)
Sadly, I can't afford to keep everybody, too many mouths to feed, and some of them just won't get along with the others for various reasons.

So here's some kiddos that need new homes, with associated prices. Prices listed are fixed in :points:/USD, but you can use that value as a guide for trading values!

Quac Pup
Quac Pup By Flame Expression by destructoPop
Quac Pup - by Flame-Expression - 150 :points: (the amount I paid for them)
Adopt Set CLOSED by Flame-Expression

Mystery Butty Anthro
Nalgas1 By El Tomodachi-dc7g47b by destructoPop
Mystery Butty Anthro girl - by El-Tomodachi - 150 :points:
{Closed} Mystery Butty Adoptables by El-Tomodachi

Barney By Murloc82-dc7joyt by destructoPop

Barney - by Murloc82 - 150 :points: (the amount I paid for him)
Adopt Barney (closed) by murloc82

Mystery Doggo
Feral Mystery Aesthetic : Revealed [Closed] by Nyamunade
Mystery Doggo - by DarlingMochi - 500 :points: (the amount I paid for her)
Feral Mystery Aesthetic : Revealed [Closed] by Nyamunade

Mystery Aesthetic Girl
Adopt 3 By Uikuu by destructoPop
Mystery Aesthetic girl - by Uikuu - 800 :points: (I paid $15 for her)

Demon Girl
I'm a little bit attached to her, so she's OTA and tentative.
Demon By Lstarlunal (from mahasu) by destructoPop
Demon Girl - by lStarlunal - OTA
Halloween Adopt [CLOSED] by lStarLunal
Eater Eggs by destructoPop

Smol hiatus. Taking tomorrow off to take a bus outta town and go drink and eat with family and friends on a boat.
Happy Christians did some s-laughter and pretend it's a pagan Christian holiday -day.
St Patrick's was fun, too. Dignity laugh  

Geez, all this religion stuff makes my tummy sick. Time to draw some furry bubs!
  • Listening to: You Know What You Are? - Nine Inch Nails
  • Drinking: Vape juice straight from the bottle

Sweet Nuggets.

Journal Entry: Sat Mar 24, 2012, 12:29 AM
  • Listening to: PinkiePieSwear - Sunshine and Celery Stalks
  • Eating: Local Honey and Biscoff
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi
Hey everypony. I've returned. Kind of. Sweet nuggets it was a rough year. On a weird note, I didn't draw for a year. ... At all. Excusing occasional doodles on receipts or notebooks at work. I repeat, it was a rough year. I learned a lot. Fortunately I'm in loving hands again. Slowly getting back on my hooves. I hope the non-bronies can tolerate all the brony-isms, because sweet Celestia I wouldn't have made it these last few months without them. Without bronies. Without ponies. Without love and tolerance. Not a chance. I'd be toast. Fortunately, I'm alive and relatively unscathed, all things considered.

Oddly, after a year without drawing, hardly plugging in my tablet at all, something has changed in a seemingly positive way. Somehow whatever I set out to draw comes out much as I envision it in my head, an unusual thing for me. Then again, I've simplified mentally and artistically in a number of ways. ;)

Thank you beyond words for all the help here. Thank you for the favourites. Thank you for the comments. Thank you for the print purchases. You all are amazing. You made my homecoming feel... Like homecoming. It's unbelievable. I truly love you all. Heaps. Don't forget to be awesome.
MLP:FIM Stamp by Krazy-Chibi Laughter Stamp by genkistamps Honesty Stamp by genkistamps 20 Percent Cooler by Dachindae
-Minecraft- Dr. Wood Puncher by NorthboundFox League Of Legends Stamp by simoverde:thumb49242689::thumb64407235:
Australia Stamp by phantom Germany Stamp by l8 American Pride Stamp by Starda45 San Francisco Stamp by ClaireJones

Vlog and Other Stuff

Journal Entry: Wed Aug 18, 2010, 2:09 PM
  • Listening to: USmile Ambient
  • Eating: Oreos
  • Drinking: Diet Pepsi
SO! We're moving.
Across the ocean.
To Germany.
The boyfriend is from there, and he has family there. I go with him!
We've started a vlog. Well, it's mostly my vlog but he's clever with these sorts of things so he's helping me. You can find it here:…
I've been working a lot on that, but my creative energy has primarily been going into my bass, poi, and Flipnote Hatena. I know, weird.
Flipnote page:…

So yes! We're packing. We plan to get another vlog up today, but I make NO PROMISES. NONE! Bahahahahaha...
Okay, srsly. Back to packing.


Journal Entry: Wed Jul 21, 2010, 5:47 PM
  • Watching: Weeds
  • Playing: Your mom/
  • Eating: leftovers
  • Drinking: Coke Zero. :(
I guess I'm back. I went through all my unread deviant notices (Over 2000, by the way) and I'm reorganizing my entire profile (My gallery needed a new section - Traditional Media. :D It may need more sections very soon.) including my favorites (cleaning and rearranging). I've started drawing again in force. About a million sketches in about a month. Mmmmhmm.

I have a "new" boyfriend. He isn't new... At least he doesn't feel new. I just haven't been here in ages, so he's new to my journal. :)

I'm moving to Germany at the beginning of September. Sooper scary. I won't be able to work right away so here's hoping I can find a work abroad job in America. Or a citizenship in the EU. Apparently I might qualify for Irish citizenship because of my unwaveringly loyal Irish family and their creepy breeding habits.

I have a crap ton of stuff to do. I need to write a story and storyboard it out by Monday... For at least three pages of comic work with a continuable storyline.

Thanks for reading! 8D

Where am I?

Journal Entry: Fri Oct 30, 2009, 1:20 AM
Wacom User :stamp: by Amblygon Photoshop User Stamp v1 by ivelt:thumb60529728:
Russian Federation Stamp by l8 San Francisco Stamp by ClaireJones American Pride Stamp by Starda45
Orange Stamp by TangyMallow:thumb75329246::thumb84442165:

I have been SO distracted with work and boys... I haven't drawn anything other than doodles in months. Plus I just upgraded to 7, and then my computer blew up. So I need to get it together and catch up!

My usual subject matter sucks, though. My WoW toon is a Tauren this go around, so I don't really wanna draw her.

Russian Federation Stamp by l8
My biggest distraction of late has most certainly been Russian, though. I'm really serious about learning and although I'm slow I am dedicated. I'm still working on getting into college, and when I get into one I'm going to two year in hopes of slinging into a more serious college to major in Slavic language... Specializing in Russian and Ukrainian.
I'm only 22 and my lifelong dreams changing like leaves in fall. But I am getting okay at Russian... To the point where I can *gasp* help customers at work!

Anywhoo, I would love suggestions on what to break my drawing fast with. <3

  • Listening to: Greek
  • Reading: Russian textbooks, books, and books in Russian...
  • Watching: Greek
  • Eating: nuffin.
  • Drinking: Pepsi

Still Alive

Fri Feb 29, 2008, 8:26 PM
Wacom User :stamp: by Amblygon Photoshop User Stamp v1 by ivelt:thumb60529728: My God Is Mighty to Save by Koi89 support my boyfriend stamp by Endien Musician Stamp by Plankhead bicycle by crazykira-stamps:thumb57037320: Zodiac Stamp 'Taurus' by Sharkfold I Love Chocolate by Sophibelle Love Stamp by pincel3d

I've gotten several messages and text messages the last couple of weeks asking if I'm still alive. The answer is kinda.
Back story on why I feel I have the authority to talk about that I'm going to talk about:
In middle school I was chubby. Very chubby.
Okay, fat. There, I said it.
It was a serious issue with me... Eating was my addiction. I ate to relieve stress, I ate when I was bored, I ate when I was lonely... It was my answer (without me even noticing I felt that way) to everything. I didn't consciously decide to eat in those situations, I just did. Then one day I noticed it and decided it was making me MORE unhappy so I made myself stop.
Well, Ever since I've been semi-consciously doing the exact same thing using video games instead of food. And lately worst of all. I've been stressed and unhappy, so I play video games. And the resulting lack of success and discipline is making me more unhappy. And it's going to be SUCH a long, uphill battle to work this addiction into a healthy mini-vice.

And the DS IS good for something. An app called Colors! is one of the best art programs I've ever worked with. It makes me want a Cintiq...
So yeah... An offering of apology from me for being a bad Deviant:

Love you guys. :]

(Thanks to the above Deviants for always making me feel welcome. The tiniest gesture of kindness can mean worlds to someone who needs it. I love you guys!)
(Thanks to the above Deviants for all the hard work and incredible art!)
  • Listening to: Some Metallica stuff...?
  • Reading: A text on my phone from Gaia News Alerts
  • Watching: The eager emotey being cute.
  • Playing: with my blanket.
  • Eating: nuffin.
  • Drinking: nuffin. so hungry/thirsty...


Mon Feb 25, 2008, 1:07 PM
Wacom User :stamp: by Amblygon Photoshop User Stamp v1 by ivelt:thumb60529728: My God Is Mighty to Save by Koi89 support my boyfriend stamp by Endien Musician Stamp by Plankhead bicycle by crazykira-stamps:thumb57037320: Zodiac Stamp 'Taurus' by Sharkfold I Love Chocolate by Sophibelle Love Stamp by pincel3d

Hokai. I went to a convention, I had fun, and yeah.
I started on the Vulpitine. I was taking a different approach than usual. I was drawing it like I USED to draw, with real sketches and tons of detail and shading and eventually I was planning to paint in the color. All digital, naturally, but very traditional style. it looked so good. And then my computer broked. My USB ports all died. Mouse, keyboard, tablet... My computer was useless. so I had to let it go... And I restarted.
The Vulpitine is gone.
But fear not! I will start over. And I plan to make a lot of other contributions to the artistic community soon.
I realized something strange... The artwork that catches my eye more than anything has very bright, playful colors. So why do my pictures use such dull traditional ones?
Because I'm lazy. So I'm going to try and use brighter, more fun colors for work that I'm not doing on commission.
And commissions that people give me creative license on. :D
In short, I'm going to be myself more and be less lazy with my artwork.

Now I am going to go work on that Vulpitine!

(Thanks to the above Deviants for always making me feel welcome. The tiniest gesture of kindness can mean worlds to someone who needs it. I love you guys!)
(Thanks to the above Deviants for all the hard work and incredible art!)
  • Listening to: Some Metallica stuff...?
  • Reading: A text on my phone from Gaia News Alerts
  • Watching: The eager emotey being cute.
  • Playing: with my blanket.
  • Eating: nuffin.
  • Drinking: nuffin. so hungry/thirsty...