Back in psychiatric hospital. Just thought I'd show my messy face and give you real life appreciation:

Love you guys, I'll write more when I'm in a bit more of a stable place,

Peace, Love and Strength,
Blue xx

I'm at New York Comic Con this weekend! Find me in the Artists Alley C24  

Sorry I didn't post about this before, things have bee rough lately, but at least I made it out!



Who's gonna be there?

Peace, Love and under preparing,
Blue

I'm hosting a HUGE giveaway on instagram, where you can win a Wacom Intuos Pro Medium, 36 Winson and Newton pigment markers, and £100 store credit to my print shop ~together worth over £500! I want to give back to you and say thank you for all your support 💙



Many thanks to wacom who gifted the #intuospro which is a sweet piece of kit I use to do a lot of my work, and my local art shop in East London Atlantis Art Materials who contributed the (very special) markers~ (their store is huge and you should check it out)

To enter you must repost this image on instagram with the hashtag #destinyblue100k, and tag me DestinyBlue. You can also get bonus entries by posting your favourite of my art on there and tagging #destinyblue100k 

The rules and everything else is up on insta - so head over there! www.instagram.com/destinyblue/

Thank you and much love 💙💙💙
You are of course allowed to spread this around outside of Instagram, (if you do, you're awesome) but official winners will only be picked on IG 
You have until next Sunday to enter!

Peace Love and prizes, 
Blue x

Almost 2000 redraws of my fish hair girl (!!) 💙💙 I feel like I've collaborated with so many of you! It was so hard to chose who to feature let alone winners! 100 easily deserved to be up here!

I know there'll be some disappointed people, so please keep in mind my choices are imperfect, there certainly some more technically proficient pieces which didn't make it, I had to go with my heart, and I wanted some variety too.

See the top 10 print winners on my instagram 

But I'm also awarding 2 extra DeviantArt print winners:  and because they are both fantastic!

Thank you to each and every one of you who redrew - I was so happy to see you breath life into my girl ^_^

This is not the end though! You are welcome to post your redraws forever! I'll keep her up in my gallery so you can come and be inspired whenever you need it. 

Here are some more of my favorites:

I leveled up! Had a boss fight with depression over the winter, and while I had to restart a few times I made it! *Victory

So I was asked a week ago to have a spot in the NYCC Artists Alley -  how could I say no?!





So I've been flat preparing!

My body is not ready. Send tea.

Come say hello in the Artists Alley, table C8!

I managed to draw a new exclusive for you guys!


which I really love - so I hope you like it too!

The release of this print is limited - so can ONLY be ordered from today until the 8th of October. Either bought at the show or ordered online (and shipped when I'm back home on the 14th) So you have from NOW until Sunday 8th Midnight to order via my store, www.destinybluestore.com and I won't be selling ever again after 😀

Order through my print store: www.destinybluestore.com 

(click on the size you want and it will take you through to a selection chart)

Thanks!

Are you coming to NYCC?

Peace, Love and Last Minute Things,
Blue xx

Should have posted about this ages ago - and now I'm in a rush to get to the show this morning! XD

Come find me at 1403 booth, in the dealers section - Looking forward to meeting you!



Just me and my little booth

And I have my Limited Release Print I'm selling at the show and online over this weekend ONLY: 
Order at my Parint Shop www.destinybluestore.com


See you at the show! 💙💙💙

Peace, Love and Conventions,
Blue xx

I went on a little cottage holiday to the countryside -


It was a very traditional old English cottage!


The ruined in the ruins...

it was great great to have a little getaway, and I really feel like it was a bit of a reset


I'm now at Ja

panExpo this weekend - writing this from Paris!

They put me in the fashion section for some reason this year *shrugs*

My name in cardboard! 😂

My Limited Release Sketch Print is available at the show - and you can also order it online over the date of the show!

I really love how it turned out ^-^

So I'm going to be super busy this weekend! Hope you're having a more relaxing time of things

Peace, Love, and Pacing Yourself,
Blue xx

I'm another year older, but I feel a lifetime wiser, a lots happened in the last year, good and bad, but I made it, came out, and am at the edge if a new year, looking out into it's brightness.

So it's perfect timing for my first show of the year this weekend - MCM London Comic Con:

Booth 3111 - North Hall - Comic Village

~~Yes I will be there personally, giving out hugs and prints. Do feel free to come say hello! I'd love to see you there!



I will also have an exciting exclusive print - but you'll have to wait until tomorrow to hear about that!

---

Thank you sooooooooo much for your awesome birthday wishes! So kind
I had a great day - some of you may have seen - chilling out in a ballpit, so I don't feel too old

Some really kind people drew me some really beautiful art:



Thank you!

So ROLL CALL

~~Hands up if you're going to be at MCM London Comic Con this weekend!

Peace, Love and Partys,
Blue xx

I often feel like apologising at the start of these posts: Sorry I've been gone a while, sorry I haven't replied to everyone. 

However I'm trying to make a conscious effort to not apologise for taking care of myself; when I'm feeling low it's just not as possible for me to interact with the world how I'd like. Basic activities like making food, showering, and housework take up so much energy that all I have left I have to put into my recovery, engaging in things like exercise, meditation and therapy.

Things have been... well tough. I haven't needed hospitalisation again since my stay in February; but things have not improved as fast as I'd hoped. I am better in the sense that I am no longer suicidal, and I'm pushing forward, but the black dog seems to be keeping pace however fast I run.
Numerous time I've had few good days and think I'm coming out of this, but then am slapped back with another period of being disconnected and low. It's really frustrating. But each knock down I get a little stronger, and I get up a little quicker. I will get better. I will tame this beast.

Recovery is rarely a straight line, I survived and am still surviving. While I absolutely do believe I can overcome my illness and recover fully; the horrible things I went through a long time ago, attached this sickness to my soul, over years. Then the damage followed my every footstep for years more before I even recognised it: 7 years in total. And now I'm only just over a year into my proper recognition and recovery. I'm proud of how far I've come, but this is a huge beast I'm tackling, and it's really hard to communicate that online, especially when you're feeling like crap.

I've had a good 6 days in a row at the moment - which is super awesome! And means I can engage and write this, and say hello to you all *waves*
~I'm really hoping this lasts so I can enjoy my birthday on Sunday.

In good news I'm feeling well enough to participate in my first convention this year - MCM London Comic Con on May 26th-28th. I'll have my usual stall serving hugs and prints. Unfortunately I don't have many new drawings because the beast often robs me of the ability to draw...
But in the last few days of feeling better I have been drawing again 

I'm trying not to apologise for not having new drawings to show you, I prefer to say thank you. Thanks for sticking with me through the rough times. Thank you for staying even though I haven't been giving. It means a lot. You mean a lot.

There'll be more happy times soon, I know. ~I'm ready to get stuck back into life again ^_^ ❤

Peace, Love and Beast Taming,
Blue xx

~~~
Thanks so much everyone. I'm trying to shake the feeling of letting everyone down because I'm not recovering fast enough. But that's the illness talking, telling me unhelpful crap. I much prefer listening to all of your kind and supportive voices - you really do make a difference - thank you! 💙💙💙

I'm running the London Marathon for Mind the Mental Health Charity

www.justgiving.com/fundraising…

Trying to raise 5k for an amazing cause

Some of you will have seen this already>>




It's only a week away now - and I'm super nervous !I'm not going to be fast, but damn I'm going to run my little blue socks off

I've never ran this far in my life before...

I wanted to do more fundraising type things, but I've been so up and down I haven't been able to commit to anything except training to make sure I can finish! Sorry about that As such I've lowered the total I'm aiming to raise, but I'm so amazed to have already made over £3,000 in sponsorship - thank you so much everyone who's been kind enough to donate to far! 

Read my marathon story and donate here:
www.justgiving.com/fundraising…

Anyone else run, or do you prefer a different exercise? 

Peace, Love and Chafing,
Blue xx

So I was super lucky to get tickers to go and have dinner at Warner Brothers Studio London, in the Harry Potter Great Hall set!

Growing up, Harry Potter has been a positive presence in my life. During my teenage years I had a really tough time in school with bullies (turns out if you dye your hair blue at 15, you get grief) But reading the books opened up a world for me, somewhere I could escape, and be part of the adventures; So I jumped at the chance to have Christmas dinner in the Great Hall set at Warner Brothers studio tour London! Tickets were £220, so not cheap - but there's no experience like it <3 Let me show you...

 
Excited much! Many people were cosplaying, but I just went with looking a bit magical, my bag was a little nod as it looked like a Howler letter. Had a real flower crown made to match my dress - I feel like some kind of real life instagram filter! ^_^

Opening the Great Hall doors

Took my breath away!
   

The doors of the Great Hall flew open, and these threatening lot entered our sanctuary.

We battled to regain control (Don't worry, I left him stunned, not dead )

We defeated the Death Eaters and peace reigned down once again <3


Okay. so the only disappointment of the night was the food... which is actually quite an important part for me (I love my food) Now I knew I probably wouldn't be that well catered for because I'm vegan (yep, one of those weirdos ) but the starter was just a few bits of lettuce... although for the main, I think I had better than the meat eaters! The smoked staked aubergine was delicious, but the serving was so small, and it didn't really fill me up.

 
Time to leave the Great Hall - But on to the rest of the studio tour!

 
Exploring the beautiful sets... what I would give for an office like Dumbledores!


 
Lest you think it's all glamour... here's me drying my phone after dropping it in the sink! XD

 
Two of my fave shots of the evening, serene on the bridge, and g oofing about in Diagon Alley!


  
Platform 9 /34!

 
Breathtaking Hogwarts in the snow...

The end of the tour... but the night wasn't over yet!

 
We got to dance the night away!

 

Going home with sore feet - but a letter to Hogwarts (Don't care if I'm too old )



On the train back, missing all the magic already.

The word 'magical' is often overused - but if I can't use it about this experience then when can I use it?!

Peace, Love and Magic, Blue x

Currently a bit freaked out as I'm trending on Reddit and Imgur... (Only a couple of hundred thousand views guys) as I posted this full collection (with more images) here: imgur.com/gallery/FUBF2

Ahoy! So I haven't made a new journal since I went to canada in September!
So I better fill you in from there then...

Well I've been running all over the pace...  Starting with New York for New York Comic Con

No one was in the seat next to me on the flight over - so I drew for 7 hours- heaven!


The Artists Alley is juried, so super prestigious to get accpted into the show - even if you ony get one tiny table! XD
I'm so sorry that by sunday I sold of of pretty much literally everything! XD I will bring more for you next time, I promise 😘



Then I hopped back across the pond to Europe for FACTS in Belgium. Bigger booth to chill out in this time


I met the lovely loish who is as wonderful I ever could have hoped. She did a demonstration talk which I wish I could have watched - but alas - the Belgians kept me busy all day! XD

I got a little chance to explore Belgium after the show - such a beautiful country! I was sketching in this little cafe, and it was so pretty I asked the waitres if she would mind taking a photo - she got this great shot! So I drew her to say thank you



And then onto my biggest show of the year! MCM London!
Since it was the last show of my year - I let my hair down - and showed off my glowey shoes! : 



The super cool Amanda brightened my show by coming as a rather familiar image



And I was innundated with just the most beautiful gifts. Thank you so much *happy tear cry*



But it's not all work for me, I was very lucky to get tirkcts to go see the new Harry Potter play!



It was a blast!

With everything being so crazy and busy with shows, my self care has beena little on the back burner. Although I've been stable and generally mentally well.
My working year doesn't look like other peoples, it's all snowballed into one area.

So I have decided to do no more shows this year, and to make sure I look after myself and do really nurturing things.
Lots of self love and self care. And at this time, when the world seems to be turning in a different direction, it is much needed.

Previusly winter has been a low time for me, and it was this time last year when things started to go seriously downhill. So I'm trying to re-write the script and find a way of living where I not only survive but thrive this winter.

So, right, I'm off to hike the Rigeway National Trail

Peace, Love and Warm Coats,
Blue x

I made it back (mostly) in one piece from Toronto Canada!

So 4 years ago at the FanExpo Canada show I met this lovely girl Caitlyn, we became friends, and I invited her and her sister Juliet to help me out at the convention last year; this year they invited me to stay at their lakehouse before the show for a few days - how could I refuse an offer like that!?



I travel a lot, but an actual few days holiday - What a treat!

Although there wasn't toooo much time for chilling, as Cait and her family had many high-octane plans for me! Including 'tubing' which involves sitting on a giant rubber ring pulled by a speedboat! And ATV driving, which involves just as much clinging on for dear life...
    


The jet-lag got me up early each morning, so I went and sat on the docks to read my kindle (it's new and I am in love with it) ~~What a way to start the day, (reading about Cognitive Behavior Therapy implementation )



The trip was just what I needed, some time to spend chilling out, and some wonderful people to do it with.


I can't think of a better way to drink-in Canadan beauty than by the waterside!

I did have a go at waterskiing too: I didn't get up, but I did manage to partially tear my hamstring, and am still walking funny (I'm trying to pretend it's my London swagger) but I'll be okay, seeing a physiotherapist tomorrow

Who needs to see a Moose when you can see stars like this?  
  

All too soon it was time to go... So we built a campfire. And I lost my smore-ginity.

Without a car it's really hard to get out and explore Canada, so the last few years I've just roamed the concrete of Toronto, so I finally feel like I've seen some of the 'real' Canada. I'm going home with so many amazing memories, from such a kind and beautiful family, honored they opened their homes and hearts to me. So Caitlyn, Juliet, Jeffery, Randy and MaryAnn - Thank You!

I'll leave you with a sweet thought from MaryAnn, Caits mother said, about when I accepted their offer to stay in their cabin: "How did you know we weren't murderers" 
Sometimes you don't. You just gotta trust

And then it was time to step up to the reason I went over to Canada in the first place... - FanExpo!

The show went great ~~ my booth was busy with stories and hugs


After the show I booked into a nice hotel as a treat...
Lets just say I never thought I would post a photo of myself having a bath... until I found this bath! XD


Pretending my fizzy water is champagne

So wow, what a trip! I'm limping but very happy

Part 3 of my story is coming soon (I know I say that every time XD It's sooooon)

Peace, Love and Mooses,
Blue x

The thing about getting better after your world falls apart... is that things don't come back in a predictable order; you get given bits and pieces at random, fragments of yourself here and there, you know it will all come together eventually, but you don't get a say in whats dropped back when.

So on the slowest internet connection everrrrr...(Don't stay in super budget accommodation guys )  I'll update you about my Aussie adventures  

Well I made it from England!

Even managed to get some work done on the plane (What else was I going to do for 30 hours )



The awful food was more than made up for by the TWO amazing sunsets!





I've been here 5 days now, and haven't suffered too badly with jetlag this time thankfully. Physiologically it's still hard changing going though so many time zones. It's interesting, quite a few of the symptoms of jet-lag correlate with depression - tiredness, sluggishness, difficulty concentrating, irritability, co-ordination problems, so it's really been really interesting to observe these feelings from a different place and with a different perspective. Sure, it always takes some tole, and it's taken lots of concentration and self-kindness over the last few days, but I'm over the worst of and and feeling fresher than I've ever felt for the upcoming show!

One of the best things I've discovered during my recovery has been yoga. I found a great place next to my hotel, and got up every day for a morning stretchersize. Then went to the cafe next door to read - heaven!

I love this idea - tubes where you can leave your own mat!


I'm so glad I am in Sydney at the right time for VIVID, their annual light festival! There are loads of light sculptures and events - it's beautiful! One of the highlights is a projection light show on the Opera House! 



And I was actually part of the festival ~~ Doing the Sydney Harbor Bridge Climb during the event, and wore a flashing jacket so everyone could see us from the ground! There is a light up dancefloor right on the highest part of the bridge, and our group danced out asses off up there!



Wish I could show you more drawings as well as photos - but I've managed to lose my Wacom tablet pen! Do'h!
Which means not only haven't I been able to finish the next chapters drawing, but that I can only make the crappyest of maps for Sydney and Perth Supanova:

But you get the idea! XD 
Sydney I'll be in at stand 22, in the Artist Alley (next to the dealers area)


Perth I'll be at stand 41, in the Alley and next to the dealers table again

But seridipidously, Wacom have a stand at the show - so fingers crossed I can pick up a pen tomorrow!

I'll be there at the show all three days, signing and selling prints, please do come and say hello - you don't have to buy anything! and I'm happy to sign business card

Night night all, I need a good sleep before the beast of a show starts!

Peace, Love, and Lights,
Blue xx

Doing my first show this year after taking time off, MCM London Comic Con, I was nervous, but when it came time to do it, it felt like coming home, and also starting again. It was wonderful. I appreciate everyone who stopped by the stall. So many of you were warm and open and kind about my recent troubles, and many stories and hugs were shared. Felt very loved this weekend, and I love so many of you too

Managed to actually get a few photos this time:


signing prints for one of my youngest supporters


My booth all set-up! Blurry photo... but you get the idea!


Here to help you!


That's how I roll... prints!

I know it can seem like the conventions just happen like magic, and I pop into a fully formed booth with a stack of prints. But so much work goes on behind the scenes to make on the days go smoothly. I couldn't do this alone, so I want to say thank you to everyone who made it possible, and that includes everyone who stopped by to show their support or buy a print - couldn't do it without you!

I fly out to Australia for Supanova Sydney and Perth soon (check out my page for a full list of the show I'm doing this year) so I'll be back preparing soon, but today I'm chilling, I'm about to have a bath a read a book

Peace, Love and Preparation,
Blue xx

Y'know I always think I'll be super organised and post about conventions well in advance, but here I am, already one day into the show, posting the map now! 

Hah, such is being self employed and having 101 jobs to do XD

So this is my first show of the year, which is weird, it feels like I've done this 100 times (which I have) but like it's the first time I'm doing it. It's quite nice to feel those butterflies again



I'll be at Booth 152, in the south hall, comic village, near the esports yes, for all the days, and yes the I'm the one with the blue hair!

And here it is: ~~~!



All lovely and shine and full of glowey art :

Sorry for the crappy photo - I brought my nice new camera which was my birthday gift to myself - and forgot the memory card! D'oh! Will try and post a nice shot of myself behind the stall soon ^-^

I've actually got an exclusive piece I'm only selling at this show, to celebrate me getting better, it's my 'update' piece (minus the writing)




It came out really nicely! I'm very happy with it

Thanks to everyone who dropped by today - it was a great Friday, I really relaxed into it and had fun

A lot of people brought up my recent postings, and many asked if I was okay speaking about them in person- yes! I am very happy to talk about the tough stuff in real life, I love a good heart to heart, and connecting, sharing and opening person to person means a lot to me Please feel free to bring anything up, or ask any questions you feel you want to know more about

So who's coming to the show?!

I must say a quick but huge thanks to everyone's support on my episodes 1-3 so far, I've been overwhelmed, and after the show, will get back to you

Peace, Love and Pictures,
Blue xxx

Well what a day.... (!) Thank you for all your beautiful, supportive and kind messages blowing up my inbox today, on my day of birth!

Coincidentally, the first time I ever opened up about my mental health troubles was one year ago today, on my birthday last year. You might (along with half of the rest of the internet) have seen and read my piece on my experience with the beast that is Depression. 



Well today I finished writing and drawing my story delving into my most recent, and darker episode. The reason any I've been gone for the best part of 6 months:






I realise it can look easy to open up about, as I have in the past, but honestly, this time, it would be easier to pretend this never happened, to close up and carry on. To not have to face it publicly. I'm just one person trying to get on in life, spilling my darkest guts up to anyone with an internet seemed too much.
But as I slowly get better, and step further from it. I don't see my story being told by anyone else, what I experienced I didn't understand, because I'd never read a story like it. So I thought of a person. One real, flesh and blood, wonder and darkness human; reading my story, what I've gone through, and feeling connected, seeing themselves in my writing, exploring their world through mine. Knowing more about mental illness through my trials with it. and I knew it was worth it. Worth opening up about, worth delving deep back into that hellscape, to explore and untangle it. To connect with others who might have experience the same, and educate those who (thank god) have never experienced anything like this. Writing has helped me make sense of it, it's been a type of therapy. And I am so lucky, with my platform, there probably isn't just one person. There's so many of you. So I made the tough decision to tell this part of my story. All of it. There will be 5 parts in total, we're just at the beginning of the rabbit hole so far, I'll take you through more of it's murky depths in the next few days...

I can confirm, however dark the tale gets (and it's pretty freekin' dark) my story has a happy ending, I am in a place of light and peace at the moment, although it is still a new place, so I'm treading carefully. I wouldn't be able to open up about it if I was still there.

Thank you so much for all your messages of warmth so far. You kindness and openness means the world to me. I read every comment, and even if I don't have enough emotional strength or time to reply to them all, I appreciate each one. I'm glad to hear people are looking forward to reading more, after reading so much already! XD


I've got some lovely art gifts this year for my birthday:

Mature Content

  Thank you for them and for everyone who took the time to write me a Birthday messages!

I'm going to go to sleep tonight happy, and full of chocolate cake and love.

Peace, Love and Birthdays,
Bluexx

Happy to announce my webshop is once again open! Thanks for your patience   

destinyblue.storenvy.com/


~You can pick up three sizes of Signed Prints and even buy me a tea!  

Low quality photo of high quality A2 print:

destinyblue.storenvy.com/

Sorry for the delay in opening! I don't know if you know, but I personally print, package and ship every order from my webshop. It means I can be happy knowing I'm giving you the best quality product, and you can be happy knowing you really are supporting the artist! (I was making less than 10% on sales through Society6)

I'm sure most of you know about my health issues now, (if not start here:    then here:  ) Which is why the stores been closed for so long... so I'm very pleased to report I am now well enough to be able to manage to print and ship orders out! Yay!
(Three months without income has been hard, but to be honest, it's been the least of my worries )

Because it's Easter Holidays, prints wont go in the post until Tuesday, (Who opens their shop on a holiday, eh? XD)

I appreciate all orders, so thank you in advance    

---

I'd also like to welcome everyone over from reddit and facebook!
A facebook page with 7 million followers shared by art yesterday, and today, right now, my painting Tiger Tiger   is on the front page of reddit! XD
I'm blown away by all the support - and excited to think that there is a new world of people discovering my artwork right now

~~Welcome to you all! 

---

Thanks everyone

Peace, Love and Prints,
Blue xx