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Update by DestinyBlue Update by DestinyBlue
You might have noticed I've got back to drawing and posting art recently (like this little pencil sketch I colour in ^) and people have been asking for an update of how I'm doing :)

Briefly, if you don't know, I've been ill since November. Mental health. I've needed to be hospitalised twice for psychosis/depression/suicidal ideation. It's been an, uh, crazy few months. I've gone as far down the rabbit hole as anyone wants to go, and then some. And here I stand at it's exit, a little blinded by the sunlight, but delighted to be facing the real world again.

There is still not enough ground between me and the hole. My legs wont let me run yet, so I have to walk slowly, treading carefully, feeling with my feet, one step at a time. I'm at a good distance now. Far enough that I dare look back, and see the hole, smaller. One day it will be so far away it will be only a freckle, a blemish on my skin showing where I've been.

It's now been a whole month since I left hospital. Which sounds like a lot, but each fragile step has been tough, though in the right direction. I've just been officially discharged by Treatment Team, who were seeing me daily at home. Everyone seems pleased with my progress. ~Myself included!

Thank you everyone for being there during the darkest time in my life. The fact that so many people have been caring supportive and compassionate means so much to me. It makes me feel like the world is stuffed full of good people, trying their best through tough times, supporting each other. Your kindness and light gives me hope that in the future mental health will be better understood and treated by society.

I want to apologies to everyone who I haven't got back to, or replied to. I have so many unanswered messages and so many lose threads which I now have to tie up...

I've now almost finished writing the full story of what happened, grim details and all. It's so in depth I've had to break it down to several parts, I'm drawing some artwork to go with it too. It's hard, but talking about or experiences with mental illness is already winning part of the battle. I've lost a lot of my life to this illness. I feel like I am at least giving something back by talking about it.

So yep, very happy to report I'm out of the rabbit hole and making my way to firmer ground,
One, step, at, a, time.

Peace, love and Footprints,
Add a Comment:
 
:iconariananolwennyme:
ArianaNolwenNyme Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
soooo beautyfull :3
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:iconcountry-punk:
Country-Punk Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2018
I really like this piece. Wishing you the very best.
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:iconanna-mator:
Anna-mator Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2018
i heard of you on youtube, and i read the description and got scared, so i tried to find this account so i could offer condolences, (took a while Sweating a little... ) and then i saw this and i feel relieved and happy :D (Big Grin) 
Reply
:iconsheenaurbi:
SheenaUrbi Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2018
I love and enjoy your art style, and I admire the way you use art to work through your difficulties. 
Reply
:iconhikadatheo:
HikadaTheo Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I like that one
Reply
:iconczmanga:
czmanga Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Amazing work !
Reply
:iconxxxsmoresxxx:
XxxSmoresxxX Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2017
How're you doing?
Reply
:iconnoviaemily24:
noviaemily24 Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2017
Overcome the time so hard you've gone, prove how strong you are, keep fighting and run away from that rabbit hole, you deserve to be happy :), you are a great person and a great artist. You can do it!! We love you!!
Reply
:iconecho-rider:
Echo-Rider Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2017
Thoughts and prayers are with you!
Reply
:iconmorningstarskid:
morningstarskid Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2017  Hobbyist Photographer
Beautiful artwork! Glad your putting some breathing room between you and the rabbit hole...I remember every minute of my breaks grom reality...do you? I believe that adds to the battle to keep it moving and get on with good things and behavior mods in our lives...
Reply
:iconchromosaure:
chromosaure Featured By Owner May 14, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Omg best style I love it love it love it I wish I was that good!!!!!10000 out of 10 possible points!
Reply
:iconahsokatano1611:
AhsokaTano1611 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2017  Student General Artist
You have a wonderful art style
Reply
:icondimeolas7:
Dimeolas7 Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2017
please, consider writing the book, illustrated by you, and tite it 'peace, Love, and Footprints'
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:iconpiratemg:
PIRATEMG Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2016
I'm really happy you fell better!!! You're art is really strong and I think you're strong too: life is full of difficulties but I wish you'll be able to exceed everything!!!!
Love
MG
Reply
:iconmaruyang:
maruyang Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
really beautiful your artwork. i hope you find peace.
Reply
:icondoodlebugrp:
doodlebugRP Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2016  Hobbyist
I, and all the rest of us, support you every step.

I've never been that far down the hole, but I've struggled for years with depression, anxiety, OCD, and some of the features of my autism.
Reply
:icondoodlebugrp:
doodlebugRP Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2016  Hobbyist
And I want you to know that your art has helped me feel better able to express my own troubles and struggles.
Reply
:iconwierdanimeperson13:
WierdAnimePerson13 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I hope you feel better
Reply
:iconcourtorder:
CourtOrder Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
:heart: sending love :heart:
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:iconwhitenekoknight:
WhiteNekoKnight Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
I'm only now seeing this and it's wonderful to know you were getting better then. I hope your forward progress continues. I'm proud of your journey so far and I believe it'll keep getting brighter. Lots of love and prayers. 
Reply
:icontwentyfootangels:
TwentyfootAngels Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
You are beautiful and incredible. I wish I had known about you when I was going through my own trials many years ago. You are an inspiration and you bring so much light to the world. <3
Reply
:iconalexiscalmets:
AlexisCalmets Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Do you take commissions for portraits? Like for a twitch profile etc???
Reply
:iconintegramoiraisyndori:
integramoiraisyndori Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Oh damn.  It's good to see you back here.  :)  I hope you're feeling better!
Reply
:iconchrism2386:
chrism2386 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2016
It is good to hear about and acknowledge the journey. Great art and best wishes to you.
Reply
:iconsuiish:
Suiish Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
<3
Reply
:iconthelavenderquill:
TheLavenderQuill Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2016  Student General Artist
While your story is heart breaking, it also inspires me. Your growth and crawling out of this dark pit is amazing and drives me to go forward everyday. Thank you
Reply
:iconnkart4u:
nkart4u Featured By Owner May 31, 2016
Stunning!! 
Beautiful!!
Breathtaking!!
Love the colouring and everything about the image!!
From her expression to the story!!

Hope you'll stop by my page sometime!! xD
Well done and keep up the amazing works!!
Reply
:iconferbbat101:
ferbbat101 Featured By Owner May 28, 2016
Your art is so beautiful, I'm glad that you're feeling better just keep taking your steps one at a time. That's the important part just keep swimming.
Reply
:iconmpopova2022:
MPopova2022 Featured By Owner May 27, 2016
♥ That was a really nice drawing.. I hope you feel better!
Reply
:icontoeypeepa:
ToeyPeepa Featured By Owner May 27, 2016
I wish you all the best.
Reply
:iconcircuitryandsoul:
CircuitryAndSoul Featured By Owner May 27, 2016   General Artist
A positive image and encouraging news, keep doing good!  You are a precious part of this crazy world and you make it a better place!!!  Your thoughts, your ideas and your truly amazing creative expression, touches so many people in a special way.  Even some of us who are not even very outspoken.  I relate to you so much.  So much is connected, and your emotional expressive art brings so much joy and inspiration to so many people.  Your work keeps us in touch with our deepest hidden feelings, both good and bad.  Creative souls have so many strong feeling and emotions.  These feelings can so easily overwhelm us at times.  Stay strong and improve each day!  We're wishing and hoping the best future for you.  One day at a time!  
Love, strength and creativity!!!  :sun:
Reply
:iconhannahelizabethh:
hannahelizabethh Featured By Owner Edited May 23, 2016  Student General Artist
i don't know you, but glad you're doing better. :)
also I love your artworks a lot. they're lovely :)
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:iconasa-chi:
Asa-Chi Featured By Owner May 23, 2016
I'm glad you're doing better, and tho I don't really know you I'm proud that you're fighting the depression, that you step forward, I kind of look up to you too^^
stay strong, you can do it! :hug:
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:iconlaugh-butts:
Laugh-Butts Featured By Owner May 23, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
Love those lips! 
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:iconmadxcorpse:
MadxCorpse Featured By Owner May 22, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
So beautiful ♡
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:iconsophiadahlen:
SophiaDahlen Featured By Owner May 21, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Please get well soon💙💜💚
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:iconabitheperson:
AbiThePerson Featured By Owner May 21, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Much love for you, my dear. We're all here for you! ♥♥♥♥♥♥
Reply
:iconeonsbeyondcenturies:
EonsBeyondCenturies Featured By Owner May 20, 2016
I hope you're well soon ^_^
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:iconmaja-ll:
Maja-ll Featured By Owner May 20, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm glad you're doing better now ^^ just keep up the good work, and take one step at a time
Reply
:iconsparrowcrowhq:
SparrowCrowHQ Featured By Owner May 20, 2016  Professional General Artist
Wow !! im sorry to hear that i just found you so beautiful. i love your artwork and your mind seems beautiful regardless! Keep doing you and goodluck! 
I suppose i can relate in some ways no doctors involved but i have alot of physicall health,ive been down and broken through that hole many times hardcore. (wont get into it) and know how it feels to be there and how great it is to come out. Myself,i prefer darkness. haha. But all in all good job.
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:iconjeruka9-san:
JERUKA9-San Featured By Owner May 20, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Heart +fav I think I've fainted. 
Reply
:iconxachoryc:
XachoryC Featured By Owner May 19, 2016  Student General Artist
I just stumbled across this and the drawing is beautiful, but aside from that, I am glad that you find talking about your experiences of help. My art is the only thing that helps me get through the dark times (psychosis and more) when I hit a relapse in my cycle. I hope you continue to get better and that things will only keep looking upwards from here on out for you! :heart:
Reply
:iconayarosatnas:
AyarosAtnas Featured By Owner May 19, 2016
Underswap Papyrus Icon 
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:iconchristopher-hart:
Christopher-Hart Featured By Owner May 17, 2016  Professional General Artist
Very nice.
Reply
:iconclippingpathindia:
clippingpathindia Featured By Owner May 17, 2016
Awesome
Reply
:iconxiiith:
xiiith Featured By Owner May 15, 2016
So simple yet so beautiful
Reply
:iconxbloodyblossom:
xBloodyBlossom Featured By Owner May 15, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
first of all, this and actually, each single one of your drawings, are totally awesome. i adore them and they've helped me through tough times, you helped me through tough times. i already watched you on my old account here but i forgot to watch you on my new account and sadly didnt even notice.
but then a friend mentioned a pic that you drew and I recognised you immediately and was very happy, to have found you again.
but as I read, that you're going through so tough times yourself, I got really sad because you look like a very lovely person to me and I'm really sorry for you that you have to struggle with depression, anxiety and worse, with psychosis. I'm so glad you get better and I really hope for you, that you one day can finally fully get through this, so that this dark rabbit hole you fell into is as far away as another galaxy.
and last of all, i want to thank you for your kindness, for the fact that you're strong enough to accept help and that you're still here and helping others with your beautiful paintings. thank you. it really means the most to me.<3
~Lil
Reply
:iconiixadopts:
iixAdopts Featured By Owner May 15, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
very pretty!!
Reply
:iconmandarinswift:
MandarinSwift Featured By Owner May 14, 2016
I've had dark times in my life like these, too... Thank God I'm finally through them and it sounds like you're getting there, too.  I hope you continue to recover well. *hugs*
Reply
:iconseryras:
SeryRas Featured By Owner May 12, 2016  Student General Artist
I THINK THIS MUSIC MAY MOTIVATE YOU IN SOME WAY OR ANOTHER:www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7hq9f…

just,please watch the whole video to see what the lyrics are(because is in japanese and well I don't know if you know japanese,if you know,then you're freaking amazing!! x3)

either ways,have a nice night and Stay Determined!! x3
-undertale thing in case no one got it...-
Reply
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Details

Submitted on
March 16, 2016
Image Size
840 KB
Resolution
625×871
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
66,025 (1 today)
Favourites
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Comments
642
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554

Camera Data

Make
Apple
Model
iPhone 6
Shutter Speed
1/33 second
Aperture
F/2.2
Focal Length
4 mm
ISO Speed
50
Date Taken
Mar 16, 2016, 3:21:30 PM
Software
Adobe Photoshop CS6 (Windows)