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Call Off the Search by DestinyBlue Call Off the Search by DestinyBlue
I just want to be lost for a while...

I'm back in psychiatric hospital, but hopefully for not too long. This one is a good one at least.
Just had a rough patch. I haven't needed the ward for 2 years, and I don't think this will be a long stay.
Thanks for your support though this time.

Feel free to interpret the painting how you feel, I'd love to hear your understanding of it 💙

Peace, Love and Alone Time,
Blue x

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I'm Complicated by DestinyBlue Depression by DestinyBlue All Wrong by DestinyBlue Fight for your Stripes by DestinyBlue Connected by DestinyBlue Flourish by DestinyBlue/b>
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musickrazy123 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2019  Hobbyist General Artist
this is one we can all relate to... sometimes we don't yet want to be found and need a little time
skydriane Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2019  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is beautiful! Your work has a very soulful quality, the colours are often vibrant, belying that the stories they convey are melancholy, even painful. 
Here is a virtual hug :hug: and best wishes for your recovery
GreenlandsGirl Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2019  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hello Blue!
Hope you are recovering well, we know you are strong! small heart - blue 
This is probably one of my favourite artwork from you. It is really touching. I love the way you transmit emotion through art. I love you, you are and always will be, my idol.
Sending tons of love from Portugal! Hug 

Carolina small heart - blue 
xandraclay Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2019  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
This really speaks to me. And it's nice to know that there are people in our lives who will never stop looking for us, no matter how long it takes.
Nawakwa Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2019  Student Writer
It reminds me of the end of The Titanic, though Rose was still wanting to be found after letting Jack sink into the deep forever....I hope you find the hour where you want to be found again, and that you're found by the right people...... I keep wondering if you'd be interested in reading a novel I wrote... It's about a teenage boy with a gloriously consuming imagination. His abusive father keeps him on the edges of depression, so he's spent a lot of time inside his head creating a whole world to escape to. But after falling in love with an imaginary girl and managing to lose her, he's forced to wonder if his safe haven is all that safe after all. And that's when he notices that another imaginary friend is proving to have had an independent mind of her own all along. With his sanity at stake, he's after the truth of who and/or what is infiltrating his mind and why. It's a real adventure through fantasy, the exposed human heart, and insanity, but also reality, as I actually based it off of my personal life story. Let me know if you'd be interested, as all I'd like in return is a couple thoughts of yours should you read it to the end. I luv U Miss Destiny, wish I could be there for you as the friend you need most. You're not alone.
BrokenRoses13 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2019  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I really like the shine of the light on her shoulders under the water! It looks awesome!
WaiverLine Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2019  Hobbyist
When you hold your breath and close your eyes underwater, and all the sounds are muffled and if you listen you can hear your own heart beating.   That's what this reminds me of. Of floating endlessly, bobbing peacefully in the pull of the waves and nothing can harm me: not stress, anxiety, responsibility, or obligations. For thirty seconds the rest of the world fades away and I don't have to think. That's when I find peace, just before the rest of the world comes rushing back to me when I come up again.

Thank you Destiny Blue
DoodleSheep Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2019  Hobbyist General Artist
Lovely painting, I hope that you feel better soon! I always look forward to seeing your new masterpieces <3
TheBunnyQueensArt Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2019  Hobbyist General Artist
I feel like the search in this is change. She's scared of change and doesn't want it, even if it's for the best.
pragosaj1 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2019
This is so gorgeous!!!
Annux3 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2018
What this painting means to me:
They all say "It will get better", even I say "It will all get better". However, it does not feel like it - its like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, that seems so so far away. There is the light, and yet I choose to stay in the dark - not wanting to come out of my cocoon.

Thank you for this piece of art, its beautiful!
Hidrome Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2018
Connects to me a bit deeper than I expected, 'I just want to lost for a while...'
Aricao Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2018
I love this one!
EveVictus Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful! :)
SefAsimar Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Maybe the girl in the ocean has depression and the search party are her friends and family. They tried to help her, but eventually just gave up, and let her sink further into her depression.
tigerhanzz Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2018
Wow! I love this. Hope you're on the mend now.
StorySiren Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2018  Student Traditional Artist
I followed you a couple of years ago. Your art never ceased to amaze me, or to show me that everyone goes through stuff. Your art is absoluteley divine- the coloring, the messages behind them, the layering, and how you always write in the description what you're going through at the time that helped to create that picture. I hope you continue to make art for many years to come, for I will always look forward to it.

I adore the coloring of this piece- the glow of the fisherman's light, the pink light reflecting off the person's body, the simple waves of underwater. I interpret this as optimistic (I'm an optimistic personn, so I prefer to think in that capacity). "Call off the search" because they found her. However, I hope she wants to be found.

Best wishes,
ToxicSnakeSkull Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
I do hope that it isn't/wasn't a long stay :( (i'm pretty late to comment so I don't know that the update on your present situation is).

The sight of that Girl, in the fetal position, submerged and lost among those dark murky depths is a heartbreaking sight, even more so when I read the description and realise what've you've gone through recently.

On the one hand, I think Kallori makes a brilliant analogy regarding those searching for the lost girl pehaps being a beacon of hope. On the other, as the light is red (red often being a colour associated with agression + strain and in contrast to the heavily blue waters below) perhaps it's suggesting the girl is reluctant/doesn't want to return to the surface - emphasized further by the piece's title - as only pain is waiting for her up there. But that's just my interpretation.

There are no words (previous comments aside ^^;)...

We're all rooting for you Blue. Hang in there :hug:
TheTinfoilRat Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2018  Hobbyist Artist
I LOVE the colours - especially that sorta sparkly effect just on the surface of the water.
heartswave Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
beautifuly done as always
I hope you'll feel better soon wishing you all the luck
ClaytoneCarpe Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2018  Professional Writer
J'aime beaucoup.  +|F2U|+ Saphire Sea Turtle 
Yilleo Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is really beautiful and very much hit home with me... In August I started my freshman year of college. In October I was hospitalized for the first time for self harm, what I might call a "suicide attempt-attempt"... and now I'm back home. I feel completely lost and adrift in life. Bobbing under the water, not knowing which was is up or down. People think that since they finally know I "have depression", they have found me and can call off the search. "You're medicated now, you're back to drawing and looking for a job and smiling, that means you're all better, right??"

I am not all better.

I am so, so lost.
Caine-of-Nod Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2018  Hobbyist Photographer
Simply Marvelous Artwork!!! Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap
  P.S. Reminds me of when I just want people to leave me alone and don't hassle me about their lives and business. Sweating a little... 
moonitea Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
I hope you feel better soon and can get healthy again!! It's good that you haven't had to go to a ward for two years but hopefully this trip will help you!! Stay strong <33
Mangagirl18 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2018
Gorgeous picture. :hug:
farzmatin Featured By Owner Edited Nov 1, 2018
Beautiful painting! God Bless, Protect, Heal and Show you The Way. Sending lots and lots of Loving Embraces and Healing Prayers and Light your way Sweet Beautiful Destiny <3 <3 <3 i see the painting as you hiding from those who hurt you and wanting to find you, yet you hide in deep water (not easy), waiting patiently and in loneliness for God's Loving Arms/The True Light of God and future LifePartner (Spouse) to find and save you? if this sounds way off or this comment or any others' comments distress you in any way, please feel free to delete it at your convenience. When we surrender to God's Will and Love ourself profoundly, unconditioned of how others viewed/view or treated/treat us, we allow The Loving Arms of God/our Higher Self that Loves Us Profoundly and Unconditionally, to Embrace and Console us in our times of need. i am so sorry you are going thru so much. Mahshahlah and Bahricalah in your Beauty, Strength, Resilience and Positive Attitude. Bravo Destiny! :) i understand what you are going thru as i am going thru loneliness and have gone to psychiatric wards for delusitory realities and am on neuroleptic Fluanxol (R) (feel free to ask for it at the clinics where you live, it is called Flupenthixol as its generic/pseudo-chemical name) intramuscular (IM) shots every two weeks that works well to keep me grounded and in a good sleep cycle and also in one timeline reality at a time so that my timelines or realities don't cross and cause me mental turmoil; and i still go thru and go thru spells of emotional and mental upheaval from time to time due to my own past sexual abuse traumas and rejection and abandonment by our dad when i was pre-pubescent and growing up. i was also bullied for most of my life and have learned to say no when i need to respect my own boundaries. please do not be shy to say NO to people who may encroach upon your physical or sexual or emotional boundaries. i am a pleaser too and yet saying NO has come more natural for me. Saying NO is OK Sweet Destiny, and there is no need to justify or give reason to your decision to say NO; if anyone ever crosses your boundaries of any type, you can just say, "my answer is NO, because I am Honouring my Boundaries, So please stop asking for justification!" :) Know that you are doing fine, Sweet Destiny, and Will & Shall Continue to Shine As A Wonderful Angelic Star that you are :) i was told by an Intuitive Doctor of Classical Homeopathy that i am an 8th dimensional being who travels amongst different dimensions and planes of reality. Quantum physicists Know there are multiple realities and universes so her reading of my energy signature may not be as far fetched as sone may thimk. Perhaps you are also of higher dimensional realms (greater than 5-Dimensional) experiencing various realities because you are evolved/'Older' Soul? if you have any kind of Intuitive Energy Readers of High Reputation in your area of residence, perhaps have her read your Energy/DNA Signature Intuitively as i had mine read. Evolved Souls have psychiatric conditions because they incarnate to break and transmute templates of abuse and harm and threat and social isolation to Love and Peace for humanity. I Believe you are Highly Evolved and an Empath and Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) who needs to be around Kind and Loving (empathetic, kind) people. i Love You just as you are and Know that You are Loved Profoundly by countless people and Almighty God/Source/Creator/Universe Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Hug Sun +fav Heart Heart Heart Sun Coffee Machine Jamming to mah stereo Teddy Star! Star! Star! Star! Star! Star! Star!  You could very well be a LightWorker or StarSeed or Twin Flame, or in fact All of the Above. Revelation
Nickstah Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2018
It's what my depression feels/felt like: people looking for ways to help, to understand, and ultimately not succeeding. They were doing their best, but I was lost below the surface, and at some point one has to decide to stop searching.
FireSong-49135 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2018
I felt really sad when I saw this! And I got a bit worried about you. "Call off the search" when the female in the water is so close to being found! And the search party just gave up! But then I saw the description underneath and it didn't feel so heart crushing. 

Congrats on not needing the ward for two years. That's impressive! 

I'll send some prayers your way, Blue. <3
pamixx Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Hang on and feel better <3
AquaticJM Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2018   General Artist
I love the colors and lighting in this piece~ :)
Kallori Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm no philosophist, but it seems to me to convey a sense of solace in an otherwise turbulent world. The people on the boat might be the ones to bring the ocean girl out of her own void, possibly as a beacon of hope
MetalPorSiempre Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
This is gorgeous
KuroNekoKeef Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2018  Professional Artist
Beautiful piece !
Your style/skills is so great !
I can't give you an interpretation to this drawing because the message is so clear, there is no place for interpretation, this is my point of view !
I like very much this one because he make me think to "yin and yang symbol" not with the bright and the dark on either side but with the cold and the warm from down to up ... i think it's the ondulate from the wave at the surface who give me this impression...

There is a lot of different people who can help us to find where is the problem and what is wrong with ourselves, and we need them clearly, but there is only one person who can act for the change, for his lifestyle improvement ... oneself ... in person ...

As we say in HipHop culture :
strength and courage for the future of the events (your future) and May peace accompany you along the path you will follow
RobinTheBard Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Skinny-dipping in the ocean at night while your older uncle fisherman rows out with your older cousin to make sure you're ok
raumreporter Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2018  Hobbyist Photographer
Yes, i'm not feeling well. No, i don't want any help with that, so keep your distance ... but don't go away.

Personal message:
Best wishes for your stay. Seems to me, you're getting better. Hope this community is part of what helped you with that.
Ashleeyn Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2018
nina-krowelitz Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Beautiful :D
DeltaScope Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2018
Stay strong and remember that there's always sunshine after the storm.
Always remember that there are many people who care about you: Friends, family, and maybe even a few people here on deviantart.

Six months ago I had a little sister. She felt she was alone. The depression was very hard on her. She was loved by many but for some reason she didn't see it herself. It pains me to know that there are still so many people who grieve for her and would do anything to see her smile again.

Never lose hope. There's always people who you can call at any time of the day. 
Now believe me when I say it that life is really worth it and you are loved by many.
schnarre Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2018
...A wonderful pic! I hope everything goes well for you Blue!! :hug:
Caracat47 Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ready2Create Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2018   General Artist
Aww, dearie!  I pray you will recover:hug:
LITATO Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2018  Student Traditional Artist
What a wonderful artwork, it's truly breathtaking. I love everything about it <3
KasameBakame Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
get well soon! ^^
abeLuna Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Your artwork is so amazing, keep it coming! 🎨🖼
Ejderha-Arts Featured By Owner Edited Oct 28, 2018  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I’m wishing you strength, love and happiness!
Whenever someone was having a hard time or was going to face something in life (be it exams, a journey, sickness) my late grandmother used to say “I’ll light a candle for you”.
This little guiding light was her way of showing her support, that she was thinking of you.
Here’s my little candle for you. Pixel Icon - Blue Candle 
jampixel Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
1) Doesn't the water + light look like angelic wings? So much so if the person (!) under water stretched out, hands outward, legs together plus straight downward, the glowing water would be like her wings.
2) Call of the search and yet there is light. Ever been in a situation where you were dead tired and your eyes were totally zonked out and fried and yet still you could watch some flick on youtube? Where did the power to watch come from?
~~~> From within and without. Strangely enough, light seems to works that way.
3) Please hang in there . . . ____/!\____
TheWarOfTheRing Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2018  Student Writer
Good luck. Sorry, it's all I can think to say
CrazedGallery Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2018

This is what I see when I look at this work.  Years ago I wrote this, it is as true for me now, as it was then.  “Society is a riot of color, in the dark all is gray. Only in the dark do we see and feel what we are. Only in the dark do we breed our desires without fear. Only in the dark do the edges mater. Society attempts to force conformity with light and noise. Here in the dark there is freedom from pain and for pain.”   I seek the wilderness often for a different complexity.  Nature’s complexity makes more sense to me. 


In this work I see that man’s works are more transient on the sea.  In its embrace there is peace and freedom to find ourselves, to re-balance my life.  The sea is dark and it teams with life.  I have always found peace on and in the water.  I dive.  The world of man…  Now more than ever is a place I steer clear of as I can. 


Please rest as you can….   It is through your art that people all over the world fine things that draw them and hopefully provide them with ways to look inside themselves to better understand there interactions with the world.  

Wolfy7556 Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hope you feel better! You're so strong, keep up the hard work! We support you 110%!
xmercury-angelx Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2018
Hope you're okay Blue.  Stay strong :hug:
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Submitted on
October 26, 2018
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