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Deviant for 14 Years
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Prayer and Some Plastic Ties
I turned the page and the whole thing burst into flames.
The reasons a blur, but I'll undoubtably take the blame.
My words are neither direct nor clear;
Merely a man fueled by hate and fear.
Circumstances aside, you're not likely to remember my name.
Thoughts run deep, but the synapses run slow.
Furiously searching for one truth to bestow.
My goal is simply to learn why I am.
Is it too much to want to understand?
I went to walk out the door, but I fell flat on my face.
Since that day I've only wanted to get back to that place.
I've tried for years, but I fear I've done all I can.
Like a message in a bottle, the lesson eludes me.
Like a child in hell, I don't believe what I see.
For so long I've ignored the writing on the wall;
Grasping desperately to ruined and long forgotten straws.
I guess I believe I'm destined to be lost at sea.
Maybe I'm a different breed
Maybe I'm not listening.
:icondestined2fail:Destined2Fail 1 1
Finely Dressed Deception
Somewhere between the decision and the action,
I strayed from the path after losing traction.
Everything I've ever written was for you.
Through it all, you're my sole distraction.
After a grain of salt, take that as you will.
I can't decide if it's healthy or if it will kill.
Don't confuse my indecision with regret.
All I feel now is unaffected by the thrill.
I can't drink enough to drown out the sound.
Your song leaves me lost and never found,
Yet I forever hum it's catchy tune.
It leaves my mouth sewn and hands bound.
I know now this is a result of all the white lies.
This hopelessness is retribution for my disguise.
I've made burning bridges my hobby.
If I've ever earned anything, it's this demise.
:icondestined2fail:Destined2Fail 1 0
With each sun rise comes a struggle I know oh so well
I fight demise and try to fill this whole to my hell
Bitterness screams at me like a voice inside my head
Happiness seems difficult, but I'd rather be dead
Every day we grow older. We owe it to ourselves to not grow colder.
You know how humble I can be
It will be the death of me
I turn away from what I need
My own warning, pay no heed
I've never been able to ask for much, but I need your touch.
Perhaps this is the realization I can't do this on my own
Despite my intentions, I've always been alone
I've shut them all out and relied upon myself
This is me running back to you for help
I'm afraid I've broken the final thread. There's too much that needs to be said..
:icondestined2fail:Destined2Fail 1 0
Long Lost Shame
When dawn breaks, but the frost doesn't melt
When the wind blows and stings like a leather belt
As the lightening rains down on us
And the thunder hits you like a bus
You have safe haven here
There is no fear I have not felt
When the nausea sets in after what seems a grave mistake
When you can't get an ounce of sleep for your own sake
After your head feels like it will burst
And you can't satiate your only thirst
You always have my ear
There is no feeling I can't fake
When it seems that chain is too heavy to rise above
When your dreams are plagued by a solitary dove
As all colors slowly fade to grey
And your nights drown in dismay
You always have me near
It seems we have no room for love
:icondestined2fail:Destined2Fail 0 0
Death of Me
This desperation is shared; I can sense it
The term is too broad,
But I can't condense it
The ones we call ghosts haunt my dreams
Perhaps we're all hosts
Well I'm tearing at the seems
These night terrors will be the death of me
Lost loved ones torture me in my sleep
I can't help but feel 
That there's some secret they keep
The look in their eyes
The sound of their voice
They see through my disguise
And speak to me in white noise
My heart feels that it's real, but my mind knows better
Am I locked in a battle between good and evil?
Time will tell; We're all in this together
:icondestined2fail:Destined2Fail 2 0
Chosen Indecisions
This isn't some convoluted song about love
Or some sappy story about rising above
This is about decisions made subconsciously 
That no matter how hard you try; you can't figure out why
This is about the regret that sinks in
When the smoke lifts from the explosion
And all that's revealed is destruction
This is about when all that hope for things anew
Is spent remembering what was lost because of you
When all you need is in front of you, but it's too close to focus
This about running
I fight the night just to catch some sleep
I pray for kind ears just to have secrets to keep
I wait to be found so I can hide once more
I open all the windows just to close the door
So many ventures began, but nothing's finished
I've so many scars, but they've all diminished
Subconsciously I know something's wrong
This explains why I'm always gone
This isn't an attempt to win you over
Nor is it the spilling of my heart
This is the first semblance of an understanding
At last a glimpse inside this se
:icondestined2fail:Destined2Fail 1 0
My chest still burns from the shock.
It seemed like a decade, but mere seconds fell from the clock.
There was no blinding light, no hell fire.
Only eternal restlessness from this cold and lonely desire.
A certain calmness settled in that day
As if I found comfort in the thought of constant disarray
I fought the light and prayed for sleep
To somehow forget that these lies pulled me in too deep
The days passed me by, for all I know it's been years
When I caught those eyes it halted the churning gears
My chest started to burn for another reason
It seems I found hope in the changing of the season
The cold gave way  as summer exhaled its final breath
The ground quit shaking and I've been scared to death
I fight sleep and anxiously await the day
I found my light and I won't let it get away
:icondestined2fail:Destined2Fail 1 0
Forward Thinking
I am of big action and small talk
I once ran where I now walk
More like the board and less like the chalk
First comes the awe and then the shock
I stand before myself a wandering man
Who set into motion no project nor plan
Struggling with all that I will, all that I can
I promise to go down your number one fan
Downtrodden, lost, and berated
I've become all that I've hated
Judging where judgement is stated
My failures will soon be paraded
Cast out my fortune and despite my name
I've had little to do with the person you became
With a mouth full of blood, I'll hide my shame
For you and I are one in the same
I fight each day with the monsters inside
Only wanting to run and hide
But this promise to you I will abide
I cannot merely cast this all aside
So bring out your armies, bring out your dead
Nothing's worse than being trapped inside my head
All I needed to say has already been said
As long as that light shines, I won't go to bed
:icondestined2fail:Destined2Fail 2 0
There's times when I believe that I couldn't wake up without this feeling
It's awkward yet welcoming, as if my heart would respond to some healing
Anymore it's hard to tell what being content feels like
Perhaps I can't be happy without this mountain to hike
We're told from too young of an age what it means to get old
We all need a white picket fence and family of five
Life is not a lesson, forget and unfold
This road is about to get violent to say the least
But I refuse to steer anymore
May this life take me where it pleases, famine or feast
This is not a letter of resignation, no I'm not giving up
I've simply had to adjust so many times, continuities became strange
It's not a glass half empty or full, simply something in a cup
We can only hope to better ourselves through constant change
But we won't
My hopes are worn, but I'm still fighting each day
Forget that it's not your decision
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
:icondestined2fail:Destined2Fail 0 1
Every time we speak this pressure builds up inside my heart
As if I had some life changing information to share
But when the feeling hits my throat the words just fall apart
It's not a lack of things to say, rather I've said them all before
I get lost within myself every night, but I still can't forget
Maybe it's a lack of effort, or maybe this is my encore
From the inside it feels like some life or death struggle
But to the outsiders its a refusal to let go
I've argued  until my veins swell in anger, I have no rebuttal
My dreams are like a bad song stuck on repeat
Waking nightmares stain my mind forever
Each morning I wash myself of this yellow defeat
Theres an evil coming, I can feel it
I won't close my eyes until the light comes
Hoping my hope doesn't take another hit
But this old and broken body doesn't want to fight
Sometimes a deep breath of salt water sings of relief
Will my soul soar high over to shore like a kite in flight?
Or am I damned to forever remain crashed upon th
:icondestined2fail:Destined2Fail 0 0
Friends with the Sun
Buried in the furthest reach of my dreams
Underneath the depravity and despair
Lies a photo album tearing at the seems
Live action photos act out all I remember
Always seems to forget about December
I've watched as the pages turn and the days pass by
They'll say I wasted away trying to find my Spring
But I won't let go until this heart decides to die
I'll fight through this winter if it takes forever
Even when I die we will be together
My soul won't rest until the sun rises in the horizon
I'll wonder the seas with skin of blistered leather
Like a heart without a beat, this boat has no mizzen
Left at the mercy of the unforgiving sea
Perhaps this spiral of mine is destiny
Who am I to argue with the powers of fate?
I've given up the worldly dreams of others
No angel on my shoulder, no demon, only hate
As everything falls down around me, soul screaming I can't help but smile
Running out of fight, may this weathered hope hold out for another mile
Please don't expect an honest story book con
:icondestined2fail:Destined2Fail 0 0
With Open Eyes
As the cold crawls into my bones
It carries with it a reiterated realization
Somewhere between the turning of the leaves
And the beauty of the quit dilapidation
Lies the truth to all I've sought
When the days get shorter
And the long nights never end
There lies my smiling horror
Avoidance was my answer
Upon first evaluation
Resulting in a spiral
Of no self conservation
When I open both of my eyes in the summer
It just doesn't feel right
Maybe it's something in the air
Maybe my souls just not that bright
Oh Indian Summer be my guide
To finding all the pieces of me I've left behind
There on Buttercup Point and the shores of Coney Isle
There under the power lines, it's us you'll find
But when I try I fall out of focus
I get too close and close the envelope
No matter how hard I think I try
I still can't stop hope
:icondestined2fail:Destined2Fail 2 0
Meet Me at the Bay
It seems that late at night
Driving through all the lights
Oh it's when I feel alive
These feelings I fight
You've been my rock for so long
I can't imagine when you're gone
I'll close my eyes at night
Still feeling at home
No matter the miles in between
I'll always have the same dream
Simply growing old
With you beside me
But until that day
I'll keep on living the same way
One day at a time
In a state of disarray
:icondestined2fail:Destined2Fail 0 2
Mature content
Genie :icondestined2fail:Destined2Fail 0 0
A Toast to Lean On
It all spun around as the walls came down
The ground gave way and all I could say
Was what have we done? It was clear to all but one
Lives thrown away, priorities in disarray
The time has gone for kingdom come, yet all feels like home
Like the warmth of a summer breeze, but without the ease
I've been falling for so long I've turned it to song
No longer in a shell, more like a box.
Less like a turtle, more like a fox
A treasure on a lost isle growing into a child
I've cut out the middleman, but I'm still improvising a plan
These memories are worn,
But here's to the hope more are born
:icondestined2fail:Destined2Fail 0 0
I'm a player of the worst variety
I'll make you so sick you'll choose sobriety
Such a pretty girl, it's quite a shame
All these empty words, it's just a game
You sounded so suave when you told me not to fall for you
Such danger we've found in this music we dance too
I'll reel you in close with lie after lie
No satisfaction here, not till you cry
I break you down, make you believe
That we have something important to achieve
But it's all about trying to pass the time
I've perfected this to a masterpiece of crime
I'll convince you, make you feel this love is real
Step by step, it seems so right it's surreal
Don't over think, this is all quite fake
Can't you see it? For god's sake
And we'll lay down, fulfill our shared desire
But when we lay calm together, things seems so dire
Please don't think I do this on purpose
You see, I've already found my purpose
When I look into your eyes all I see is a reflection of me
In my dreams, pools of blue laced with gold is all I see
I'm not saying that n
:icondestined2fail:Destined2Fail 0 0


typical goddess by Lissabeth typical goddess :iconlissabeth:Lissabeth 2 3 Golden Rays by IsacGoulart Golden Rays :iconisacgoulart:IsacGoulart 355 25 Out for a Walk by IsacGoulart Out for a Walk :iconisacgoulart:IsacGoulart 472 39 Love Remains by IsacGoulart Love Remains :iconisacgoulart:IsacGoulart 497 43 journey's end by ssilence journey's end :iconssilence:ssilence 393 22 city of god by IsacGoulart city of god :iconisacgoulart:IsacGoulart 439 92 9611 by correiae 9611 :iconcorreiae:correiae 74 13 coming home by ssilence coming home :iconssilence:ssilence 417 33 Aldheorte by ssilence Aldheorte :iconssilence:ssilence 354 23
I did spend time
I did spend time
throwing my body over couches,
sighing deep from the belly
to sad music and murky martinis.
I was so heavy
I would crash land
at the bottom of long-necked bottles with
red stained lips.
But I have finished that crying now.
I'm standing, whole, in heels, somehow.
Calloused and glittering.
And I'm feeling rather cat-like down here off the wing.
Devils have romanced angels since the beginning of time,
charmed them stark raving naked in organized crime,
and they've all gone tumbling down, skirts in the air,
into forests of red fingernails, lost and impaired.
I met some new friends there.
And in this forest of frost
the burning between my legs has returned
stronger than stronger than stronger than
And it's become my new master.
In this forest of frost
I am the snow queen.
ima wear my black hood now,
ima wear my white boots high
find me some low-flyin angels
to join the dark side.
:iconhectatenemesis:HectateNemesis 1 7
Forsaken - BW by IsacGoulart Forsaken - BW :iconisacgoulart:IsacGoulart 252 38 four words letter by JuliaDunin four words letter :iconjuliadunin:JuliaDunin 56 7
the harvest
“We all live in fairy-tales, some are just a little more devastating than others.”
The wind brushes over you, like rosemary kissed by gentle hands, but it only renews that numbing cold of an echoing winter. You bite the lower right end of your bottom lip, and grab the holy cross, gleaming below the vintage green skies that is abandoning it's blue hue, and think about crucifixion. The one thing that has made you begin to think about all things sharing the name of 'holy' , and then you try to understand why nature, too, must be crucified. (then you try to understand religion, and you can’t, nobody can.)
“Lower your hand, you’re wrong.”
You trace your veins with a purple marker, every last one of them, just to see what veins would explode from the exhausting force of a broken bone.
(and you imagine what it would feel like.)
You think of your skin flaking away from the torn muscle and the cardinal red velvet lacing the air, and then the bone, as it cracks and
:icongrimmestfangs:GrimmestFangs 45 49
Phantasm Nightmares
Your feet scratch violently against the soot covered floors of the abandoned alleyway. The classic kidnapping was thoroughly attempting to be committed; and sadly you are the one they are after…You can here the moaning gradually come closer, and the sound of their heart’s pulses slip threateningly into your ears. Your breathing slowly began to quicken, and your lungs are pounding against your chest, trying to break through your rib cage. Slowly, tears begin to fall from your eyes and the once furious breathing becomes an unbearable hyperventilation.
“Slow down my child, we aren’t going to hurt you!” Came the scratchy and somewhat easing, nonetheless menacing, voices from behind. You decide to take a sharp turn out of the alleyway and into the house lined streets from where you rampage about frivolously. You bang about dusty doors and peak through cracked windows, screaming breathlessly for help. The moans and yelps were gaining on You once more. You don’t
:icongrimmestfangs:GrimmestFangs 25 66
sometimes we must cross over by photo-earth sometimes we must cross over :iconphoto-earth:photo-earth 1,315 223 Deep Water by digitalgrace Deep Water :icondigitalgrace:digitalgrace 14 3


Everyone likes to sing along
But I f**king hate this song
Its doesn't feel too wrong
To wish everyone was gone
I never wanted to belong
No we won't be here for long

Suddenly  I'm not feeling well
This place is seeming more like hell
Something's gone wrong and I can tell
Spinning constantly on this carousel
I reached the top but I still fell
I wish I had a soul to sell


Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Current Residence: Pa
Personal Quote: Either we're all alone in the universe or there is something else out there. Either realization is terrifying


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schvee Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2010
i am incapable of such a thing!
Destined2Fail Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
alone24 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2009   Writer
happy birthday dear.
schvee Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2008
i randomly tried out my cd burner again, and it worked! i have 2 cds burned for you, and plan on making more. don't let me forget to give them to you!
Destined2Fail Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Well now you owe me another =P
thank youu, how have you been? :hug:
looooong time no talkie.
Destined2Fail Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
I've been doing all right, keeping busy. How about you?
same, same. nothing too exciting going on, haha. :P
Destined2Fail Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2008  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah. Im just waiting to start school and get on with my life. This waiting game is rough =P
AmericanDralion Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for "watching me"
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