To me, independence especially means no support or aid of others. I do not make any money from the creative works that I produce for gay adult men. I give away, absolutely free of charge, my science fiction time travel adventure with sexually explicit man-on-man scenes named Moon Men Deep Inside. My digital illustrations do not generate revenue for me. All of my illustrations (located at various places online include here at deviantART) are absolutely free of charge, too. Visit my website DesouzaWeb to see more.
Independence = No Making Money
Why is it that I do not make money from my creative works?
I accept that what I do is not going to appeal to any “mass audience” in the gay world. Some gay men have said that they especially like how I depict men so realistically. Others have said that my work is too extreme because of the violence that I depict so openly and how the men I create who treat each other sometimes so brutally. Still others say that what I do is not “normal” for them.
Not "normal" can be interpreted to mean that I am a gay male who sees things in this life from a different perspective than some other gay males. My storytelling approach in text and in 3D digital art is to focus on highly masculine men who are sexually attracted to other men who also are highly masculine. I also choose to depict the linkage between violence and sex—a controversial choice on my part. Personally, I do not enjoy the boy-meets-boy-and-falls-in love kind of storytelling that is very prominent and popular within the gay male community today. I also am turned off by the typical effeminate male portrayals of us gay men on television and in movies. That is not who I am and so it's no surprise I prefer to focus instead upon gay males who are mature in life and who are wise in the ways of the world.
This creative choice I have made means that I pay attention to gay males who are age 30 and older in contrast to younger flamboyant and effeminate gay men–probably the most identifiable and stereotypical gay men across a wide variety of cultures here in the present day.Because I work within the bara genre, which is a genre that a much smaller audience finds appealing–compared to other genres of visual works, I have to accept no money and a smaller following. I accept these things completely.
Bara genre explained. Bara genre works depict gay male same-sex feelings and sexual identity with masculine or muscular males that is sometimes violent and exploitative. The more vanilla works of young and shirtless gay men falling in love with other young and shirtless gay men are a lot more safe and less emotionally challenging for the viewer. Those are fucking boring to me, but you can get off on whatever you prefer to get off on.
My creative works explore conflicting and opposing compulsions that all men have. On one side there are impulses men have towards sustaining life, engaging in love, and being attracted to others. In the opposing direction are impulses men have towards being aggressive, engaging in violence, and, causing pain and death.
For centuries, artists and storytellers around the world have found inspiration in these two opposing human compulsions that no man is able to resist or impede merely by his conscious will alone. I am not entirely aware of any specific intent on my part to explore this duality of man’s compulsions. Nor do I plan my creative efforts so that I purposefully can reveal psychoanalytic findings. I just continue to work and create. What turns out turns out.
As a gay male, I have been influenced by the work of underground artists, illustrators, and storytellers (listed below) who have produced homoerotic visual works of a surreal rather than realistic nature specifically for a gay adult male audience. My work, like theirs, creates an imaginary world of fantasy that is not intended to exist in our real world:
- Tom of Finland
- Dom "Etienne" Orejudos
- Sadao Hasegawa
- Gengoroh Tagame