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Deviant for 13 Years
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A Mom and Her Peanut by deseretfirefly A Mom and Her Peanut :icondeseretfirefly:deseretfirefly 0 0 DevID by deseretfirefly DevID :icondeseretfirefly:deseretfirefly 0 0 The Temple at Christmas by deseretfirefly The Temple at Christmas :icondeseretfirefly:deseretfirefly 1 0 Arboreal Flame by deseretfirefly Arboreal Flame :icondeseretfirefly:deseretfirefly 0 0 Peanut The Magician by deseretfirefly Peanut The Magician :icondeseretfirefly:deseretfirefly 1 0
One Dance
One Dance
Although I detest you
I think you’re gorgeous
Your dark hair combed perfect
Thick brows knotting as you think
Soft white skin stretched over your cheekbones…
I love your lips – stretched into a demure, self-satisfied smile
Or the broody way you sit quietly
And that body – magnificent grace belied with arrogance
I want to make you dance with me –
A dance without meaning or style
The dance of loathing and self-fulfillment
That all know and perform
I hate your attitude
So straight-edge and mama’s boy
But although I hate everything you stand for
I would like to have one dance with you
Just to say I did
Just to prove I can
Just to make me hate you more
And maybe, someday, I’ll look back and remember
The dance
But forget why I detested you
:icondeseretfirefly:deseretfirefly 0 0
The Iron Curtain II
The Iron Curtain, II
I watch your tears with grim eyes
The spirit of your dissilusionment touches me not
I could laugh at your pathetic sadness
And feel no shame in the act of hurting you
What was it that hurt you so?
I listen with deafened ears
At the sorrow your demeanor portrays
And a twinge of humor crosses my mind
Damp eyelashes blinking softly tell a story
Full, wet lips illuminate the facts
How could I break you as you come to me for guidance
Mercy is an emotion for the weak
You have much to lose in revealing yourself to me
The innocent tears will never affect me
My spirit remains behind an iron curtain
That you seem to forget in your moment of weakness
How did my soul freeze up this way?
The obvious answer escapes you
I seem to remember a certain time, long ago
When in my moment of sad tears, you broke me
So here we stand, positions reversed
How long have I waitied for vengance so sweet?
But an inkling of conscience remains
For to break you would drop me to your level
So I cond
:icondeseretfirefly:deseretfirefly 0 0
The Iron Curtain I
The Iron Curtain, I
I hear him coming
Footsteps on fallen eardrums
Echoes bouncing
Knocking on the iron curtain
I crouch behind my barrier
Armed with my hammer and sickle
On defense although I am safe
Waiting on my guard
He knocks again
Jumpstarting my fear
That is all-encompassing
And I check the bolts on my curtain
No caring if it rusts up
As long as I remain behind
it Safe
I faintly hear his voice
Trying to impose pax americana
I scratch my cycle against the curtain
Denying to myself that he’s even there
I dewll behind my barrier
Until the day it rusts apart
Then I gather up my bearings
Picking up the pieces of my broken heart
And one again begin the search
For a safe place
:icondeseretfirefly:deseretfirefly 0 0
A Realization Haiku
A Realization Haiku
Screeching laughter cuts
Actions speak stronger than words
Understated, sad
I see her sighing
I feel the breeze as she walks
Far away from us
My conscience tugs me
I want to apologize
But damage is done
:icondeseretfirefly:deseretfirefly 0 0
Sad Man Haiku
Sad Man Haiku
Great big gobs of phlegm
Hacked painfully on the ground
Grimacing, he sighs
Pathetic sad man
Standing on the street corner
Alone with himself
He picks up his bag
And wanders down the cold street
Goodbye sad man, bye
:icondeseretfirefly:deseretfirefly 1 0
Neon lights glow pink
Illuminating the night
Open for business
Pull on the glass door
Enter into the night shop
Open from dusk ‘till dawn
Trumpets shatter the sillicon silence
A caidence of clattering fools
Sometimes stopping to test the water
Wondering, blundering, together, in schools
A dance of doddering, drumming dodos
Grouping together and drifting apart
Unintelligent ingrates in a rounded hole
Circular movements they shift and dart
Neon lights are outshined
Day begins with new life
Closed for twelve hours
Push on the glass door
Exit into a new day
You’ll be back at dusk
:icondeseretfirefly:deseretfirefly 0 0
Night Life
Night Life
The pretense of life
Plastic promices and revolving doors
People bustle about blindly
As the hopeless search for love continues
Multitudes injest the acid lie
It enters their bodies with grim disillusionment
The promises shatter like shrapnel on the heart
And they swallow, trying to remove the
Acrid taste of dissapointment from their throats
Enter the neon gates
Hopeful eyes glance and dart around
Wondering, eagar, innocent victims wander
Bumping into barricades of blind ambition
Halted even as the search continues
The search for a perfect someone to share themselves with
Stunted growth and helpless forgiveness put an end to the lines
And the acid lie is expelled – as the sun begins to rise
:icondeseretfirefly:deseretfirefly 0 0
Need to Buy a Tripod by deseretfirefly Need to Buy a Tripod :icondeseretfirefly:deseretfirefly 0 0 Sailor's Delight by deseretfirefly Sailor's Delight :icondeseretfirefly:deseretfirefly 0 0
His lips were there, hovering close to mine, but not so much as a single breath was shared. That bastard!
Never before met someone for whom I would gladly play the Goddess. Or pay. And certainly, I would pay. I would give it all for just a taste of those supple lips, and to feel his body against mine.
I had kissed him in the past. It was before I knew better, and completely on accident. It was the kind of chaste peck on the lips that I habitually share with his lover. I was too surprised to enjoy it. I didn't like him then.
One of those men who is finally blossoming into his manhood from gawky teenage boyhood, who might have the mind, and yet the body is just beginning to catch up. Of course he would be a genius. Smarter than I. Book-smart in the lazy, indolent way of all self-unaware gorgeous men, his long limbs attaching to loose joints and still not yet causing him to look the least puppetlike. Physically, he's dynamite. Too skinny to be healthy, but as he'd reach up to readjust his
:icondeseretfirefly:deseretfirefly 0 2
Orange Poppy by deseretfirefly Orange Poppy :icondeseretfirefly:deseretfirefly 0 0

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Deliverance of amity by alexiuss Deliverance of amity :iconalexiuss:alexiuss 6,479 674



United States
Current Residence: Downtown Salt Lake City, Utah, USA
Favourite genre of music: Classic Rock, Hard Rock, Metal, Progressive, Jungle, House, Indie, Bluegrass, Classic CountryWestern
Favourite photographer: Myself, Ansel Adams, Rowan le Fay
Favourite style of art: freehand pencil or ink, MS Paint, anime/manga, anything sparkly bright colors and great contrast
Operating System: Windows Vista Ultimate on PC, Free BSD on laptop
MP3 player of choice: Zune
Shell of choice: Scallop
Wallpaper of choice: I prefer blank white walls, thank you :p
Favourite cartoon character: Butters from South Park
Personal Quote: Heyhey, it's okay, buddy!
  • Listening to: morning traffic in downtown SLC
  • Reading: Virginia Woolfe
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: Neopets
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: nothing
Not that anyone notices if I put stuff up or not, thank goodness... but if anyone's wondering, I have had many adventures since last updating this journal.

1) I moved to Phoenix in January 08, and was there exactly for 1 month. It's difficult to get a well-paying job there doing anything in my field of specialization (8-10 an hour PHX as opposed to 12-15 an hour SLC) and I was too stubborn to settle.

2) From there, I went to BTV- Burlington, Vermont. I was there for 2.5 months. It was great to see family, but the state is in a recession, and with no car, it's virtually impossible to get a job that pays better than minimum wage (and is not food service- which I have never done, and refuse to do) because I have no degree and Vermont is an incredibly educated state- so basically they ask for 4 year degree PLUS experience. Unlike Utah where they ask for degree OR experience. So it was great to see the fam and to spend time hanging out on the streets and chillin' at the homeless shelter, but in all, I needed to get back where I can be a moderately successful human being.

3) Back to SLC in April! My husband was super nice and bought me a ticket to fly for $120. So I dogged it to Manchester, NH and then flew it to SLC. It was great to see my man and my lil girl after a 3 month hiatus.

4) SURPRISE OF A LIFETIME. After having had tried unsuccessfully for 2 years to get pregnant again, my husband and I managed it with one ovulation and no real effort. Weird, it was like throwing the dart and hitting the bulls-eye. I was so unaware that it had happened, it took a month and a half to even think that my fatigue and nausea were due to anything except the heat.

5) Spent the summer working various temp jobs and growing a baby. We found out in September that we're going to have a boy. Then we'll have one of each together, which will be an interesting experience.

6) I recently got a great temp job at a great company. I love the environment, the job itself, and the respect with which I and the other temps are treated. There is an opportunity to possibly be taken on as permanent, which would be completely awesome, but as my baby is due in February, I am not holding my breath. If it happens, then I am truly blessed. If not, it wasn't meant to be.

7) Oh yeah. Baby is due on Feb 19th. One week from my birthday. Anyone who knows me, knows that my babies are born exactly 1 week early. Which would mean that Simon would be born on my birthday! HA! We'll see...

8) All in all, this year has been full of many ups and downs. But I wouldn't trade any of my experiences for anything in the world. I have seen one of the most beautiful cities in the world (PHX), I was able to live near my Mom for some time, and I am now happily back with my husband and daughter, and loving every minute. The past two years I was filled with repressed rage at my fate, and feeling as though I was trapped in Utah and stuck with my life. I have learned this year that it is just not so- I can change anything I want to change, I have the power over my life to do so. The best part, though, was the realization that not only am I perfectly happy in my life, but that I really don't want to change much at all. It makes me happy to go to work and come home each evening to smiling faces, to cook dinner and clean up the kitchen. To tuck my little one into bed. To sleep next to the only guy in the world who I ever truly loved, and who loved me enough to want to spend his life with me- come what may. I know that really doesn't seem like much on the success scale, and considering other peoples' lives, it isn't much. But for me, it is golden. And I am writing this down as if to remember that each moment is to be treasured and each experience to be remembered. Life is for living, and I am finally, truly living MINE.


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brea-eanin Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2008
Thank you :butterflytwo:
violentjelly Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2008
thanks so much for the fave on aspen's aspens
Chromattix Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thankyou for adding Sun shower to your favourites :sun:
violentjelly Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2008
thanks so much for the fave :hug:
violentjelly Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2007
thanks for the fave and friand :)
violentjelly Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2007
i can't type. the watch :D
deseretfirefly Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2007
lol, it's fine! point was made. ;)
silversmith Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2007  Professional Photographer
Hey! Fellow SLC-er! Thanks for the fav ;)

deseretfirefly Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2007
flutefaerie Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2007
Hi! Good to know you have a deviantart thingy.
It's mijomuffins btw, not many know of my flutefaerie name.
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